I have known this girl for about a year and we have been friends, but the last 4 months we have became more. She has brought me happiness on her good days that I did not even knew exsisted anymore. She is incredible. She has told me that when I am around she is happy, smiles, and I make her laugh. One night as we lay in bed we discussed how whatever it was going on between us is that is just felt natural, and that we had been a couple for many years together.
Of course, there are problems. When she was 5-6 yo she was raped by her uncle and her mother knew the entire time according to her, She suffers from social anxiety. Her's is so bad that going in to a simple place like Walmart is a struggle with death for her to enter inside. She also suffers from OCD. She picks at her skin causing scabs, cuts, bruises, etc. Despite so many people telling me to just "get out" I do not want to I am in total love with this girl, and we are totally realistic.I have told her and she has told me I cannot fix her problems, but what I can do is be that person she can lean on when needed.\
Everything was going great up until a week ago we kissed each other good bye one morning, and she said she would call me but about three hours later I get a text with her saying she cannot deal with her problems while at the same time deal with whatever I may have going on. I tried to explain to her she does not have to worry about my problems simply because I have so many people helping me deal with depression that it is unreal. Where she has me and a girl friend of hers to help deal with hers. As she has put it "she hates people, except me and her other friend.I pray she is going through one of her mood swings because she had to go to New York for work for a week and she was in full blast panic mode. But it now has been over a week, she is out of town and there has been zero communication.
You do not just lay in bed together for over eight hours just talking and opening up and telling one another details without feeling something for the other person. You just do not do that. Her last three boyfriends were garbage who beat her broke her arms. Her last one threatens to rape her daughter all the time.
Please what do I do, I am in total love with this girl. As she said it first, it just feels so natural us being together, but now she has cut me out of her life.