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Hello guys. I need to tell you something. I am with this beautiful girl for a couple of years now. Everyone of my friends and my family keep telling me that I need to propose her because she is really amazing girl and I know that if I don't propose her, she can leave me. We are together for 11 years now and I do know what is the next step, but - I am scared. And I don't know what to do about it. Do you have a fear of commitment that makes you depressed? I don't know how to deal with it...

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Hey Guest,

I don't think that you are really suffering from this, but the thing that you are talking about is called a commitment phobia.

People who have commitment issues, commitment phobia or relationship anxiety generally have a serious problem in staying in a relationship for the long-term. While they still experience love like anyone else, the feelings can be more intense and scary than they are for most people. These feelings drive increased anxiety, which builds upon itself and snowballs as the relationship progresses and the expectation of a commitment looms larger.

Since you two have been dating for 11 years, I think that you are just fine. Just propose to her.

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Deni is right Guest, guys seem to have this feeling of fear when it comes to getting married. Well, not all of the guys, but a big number of them, yes. He is right when saying that you don't have a commitment phobia, that is. People with commitment phobia can't even handle being two months in a relationship, I know this, I have dated one and it was so hard. 

Yeah, just do it. You know what they say about fears, they are there to be overcame. So just marry the girl and you will see that everything is going to be alright. 

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You are just fine Guest, don't make a big deal about all this. Try searching on google for "commitment phobia" and you will see what real problems are. A lot of males are afraid of marriage, but so are women as well. You will get over it, but if you two have been dating for 11 years, I can agree with everyone who tells you that you need to make a move there. If I was your girlfriend, I would give up on you, or, if I really loved you, I would propose to you, who cares, but it should happen already.

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Get over it and ask the girl to marry you, for Christ's sake. How old are you, 10? Be a man and do what you want to do, you know that you want to marry her, too, otherwise you wouldn't have spent 11 years with her.

What is the problem here? What exactly are you scared of? Whatever it is, I'm almost certain that it is nonsense and that you are easily going to overcome that fear. Since you have been together for 11 years, you can also talk to her about your fears, if she is the one, she will understand.

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Looks like everyone's on the girl's side rather than yours, Guest. But I think that the two of you are actually on the same side so we are all on your side, yes.

Have you decided yet what you want to do with this girl? It has been 11 days (symbolically, since you have been dating for 11 years) since you posted your question here and I am really curious to know if anything changed and if you, perhaps, asked her to marry you already. I think that we would all pretty much like to know if that happened and if it did, how did it go.

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Hi there. Yes, I do. I have really bad fear of the commitment. Here is my story. While I was in the High school I really liked one guy. He had long hair, he listened to rock and roll and I really was crazy about him. Literally. Well, he liked me as well so we started to date. We were together for five years and he dumped me because he met some girl that had the same interests as he did. It was almost two years ago and I still can't be in the relationship. I am scared to be in the relationship and whenever I start to think about some commitment, I start to loose my breath etc...I understand how hard this is.

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A lot of people doesn't have a clue when they have fear of the commitment. But there are so many obvious signs that can show it. 

Look, fear of the commitment can be very dangerous. It can destroy even the best and the strongest relationship ever. But everyone should know that the fear of the commitment doesn't mean that this is the end of the relationship. If you do have fear of the commitment, you really should talk to your partner and tell him how do you feel. I am sure that there is a huge chance that your partner understand it. 

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Hi everyone. I had fear of the commitment - HAD. But not anymore, because my boyfriend was with me and he supported me because he was pretty much aware of the fact that I am afraid of the commitment. Whenever he started to speak about some commitment, I was scared and I started to be depressed. He notice that and he didn't want to force me, but he did start to talk about it with me. Step by step and that fear was gone. So it is very important to have someone by your side who is going to understand what you are going through.

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