I just feel terrible lads.Its now 8 months since we last broke up and you know what I think it was even better around the time we broke up.We seemed to be able to talk to each other some bit back then whereas now theres hardly any communication at all.When she sees me now and I greet her she just does all in her power to get away from me.I could have handled being friends but totally ignoring me is pretty hard after how nice I have been and understanding.And I know this probably another moodswing she is in or perhaps its trhe only way she can deal with our break up.I dunno.I dont wanna judge her.I still wanna be the best friend I can possibly be but at times I feel so damn frustrated.It feels like my best friend is just dead but yet they're right at the end of a phone or even right beside me at times.I just worry about her too and I think maybe that is the reason I find it so hard to move on.I have even tried to move on and meet other people casually for 6 months or so but it is still so darn difficult and not being an as****e but I am a pretty popular guy.I even won a personality competition recently.It wouldnt be hard for me to find someone else and I even asked someone else out but she wasnt single unknown to me.But looking back now I'm glad she redused me because I know it couldnt work because of my feelings for my ex.If I knew my ex was genuinely happy with someone else I know it would sting me but at least I could feel easier about moving on.She tends to giomme mixed messages.On her FB status she still has it upas "2011 in a relationship with !!! !!!!!!!!!" in her history.She said about a month ago she had to give me back dvds I gave to her.I said no prob at all.I was in no hurry.She could easily have given those dvds to someone else to avoid meeting me or given them to me at a quiz we were at on Friday night.I greeted her the other night and she couldnt even look at me.She arrived up to the bar then with her friend and I was with my friend.I just said to my mate"I'm headin up here" without even looking at the two girls.I hated doing that but I was too anxious about saying anything.The only way I could handle the situation was to blank her.Its horrible when you feel like your so called best friend doesnt even want you around and I know deep down she probably feels way worse than me.I just have to let it out lads and I am getting therapy.Its like I love her more than anyone else but know that it just will never work if she cant get the help she needs and I dont think she understands that after all the damage of this relationship it is gonna take time for things to heal.She expects some prince to swipe her off her feet and everything should be smooth 24/7.
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