Hey i've been looking all over for a site to just post anything i felt about this topic without it coming back to bite me.
I'm 18 and im addicted to weed.. Ive been smoking since i was 14 or 15. I started because two of my older siblings smoke. I don't even know where to begin! Ive been arrested for it when i was 15. So i stopped for 3 months, but smoking spice as a substitute. I remember when i used to ask myself if i thought i could quit smoking, and i would confidently answer yes. But when i stopped asking myself that, is when i really became addicted. I currently smoke every day. I have major problems with anxiety.. Missed my first semester of school due to my anxiety. Im on 3 different medications now to try to calm myself but nothing works better than weed. I feel like marijuana has been a substitute for my emotions since i was 15. Now when i feel extreme anger or sadness or happiness even i get bad anxiety and have to go smoke. I smoke before bed so i can sleep, even though i take sleeping pills. I have to smoke before school so i can have the nerve to walk in. It relaxes my thoughts... Soothes my mind. Literally. I don't know how to live without it. it's a routine thing. But i don't want to smoke anymore... It's ruined my older siblings lives and i'm headed right towards where they are. I've gained weight. My social life has gone down the drain. I'm flunking school and I don't give a sh*t. When i used to care if i had any grades lower than a B! I'm irritable as hell and i'm just not me anymore..
Weed is sucking the life out of me, but I hate living without it. Life seems so boring and hard... weed has always been my release. I don't know when or how i'm going to stop.. Ive tried. I feel so much better after the first two weeks but the first two are killers.. i could never try to quit while in school.. it's too much. People if you can, never start smoking. I know it's great, but it's not.. trust me.
Hi, I think you analyzed your situation pretty well and you are very honest about your feelings. You must be pretty fed up with it.
For your own sake, make a plan to quit the weed for good. Find a person or local institution that can help you with the plan and the implementation (can't help you with this, search the internet for advise or talk to a counselor at school if available). It will be hard the first weeks/months (read about withdrawal experiences), but trust me, it will all be worth it once you kicked the weed. Try to stay away from medication if it is not really necessary, as you will only substitute the weed for another substance. There is a very strong person inside of you that can achieve a lot without (substantial) help of other chemicals. Once you stop, life will slowly seem better than it was when you used to smoke.
I combined anti-depressants and weed when I was younger and it was like stepping on the brake and gas pedal at the same time. My body didn't like it and it only made my mind numb. Sadly I quit the anti-depressant only and never made any progress with my life. Now that I am finally clean, I can see that the depressed feelings I had were mostly thanks to my cannabis use.
I reckognize the anxiety, I still suffer from it, but it has improved enormously since I stopped the cannabis.
Hope you find the strength to make this important turnaround in your life. I did it when I was 36, don't wait that long...