Maybe in one sense that was a good thing but the pain and suffering?

Can an addict reverse engineer the damage done to the brain and body through drug abuse so it doesn't affect someone's longevity? I have been on oxycontin/oxycodone on and off for almost 10 years. Started with one 20 mg a day and by the end, I was on 240mg. a day, 3 80 mg. I went to work and functioned but average. I have gone cold turkey many times being sick in bed for a month, walking around in a robe all day, looking like a zombie. I didn't eat for 2 weeks, no sleep and had this horrible burning in my stomach/esophageous from vomiting non-stop upon forced withdrawal. I had what my partner called "psychotic breaks" where I was talking to people who were not there. I wanted to die and thought that death would be better than this kind of pain. I never felt that depth of physical insanity before. My mind went on fast forward, recalling images, random and disconnected ideas and events all night long. I lost total control of my life. Maybe in one sense that was a good thing but the pain and suffering? When I was in therapy in the 90's, my therapist thought I would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist. I was a clean and sober person and people knew me as a person who would even hesitate to take an aspirin! When this psychiatrist got done with me, I was on everything but the kitchen sink. Prozac to Adderall. I do not have ADD/ADHD. I was always able to concentrate and stay focused. I was athletic, fast reader and had a good memory. Well, Adderall is an amphetamine and I grew to like the fake "energy" it gave me. In the beginning, I trusted this doctor and thought she knew what was best for me. There goes that absurd and undeserved trust in authority. I thought I was functioning like perfection only to realize I had become an automaton. Not feeling anything, just performing and doing like I was in some kind of race. After she threw me to the curb because I was "treatment-resistant,"I went looking for that chemical alteration. My brain chemistry was already altered and it needed some kind of fix. Well, I found it and lost parts of myself. I am sorry I ever touched that first pill. Who knows what my life would be like now? I am sorry that I gave over my resonsibility to my self to someone else. And here I sit, 10 years later still struggling with this addiction.