Mom's an Alcoholic - What can I do??

hi my mum gets drunk every night but just like you i don't know what to do it really gets me down in side but the only problem is that she will not say that she drinks and my father keeps saying she need to get some help but she will not give over i'm not that olded and i have faimly that live by me and she will not let us speak to my father and i really do not have any clue what i should do, do you have any think you would tell me what would help it???

I'm 16 and my mum is also now an alcoholic, it all started when my dad got depression he had serious depression where he was on medication and just wouldn't get out of bed in the mornings wouldn't go to work and just couldn't help around the house. He had a good job where he earns an above average salary, when my younger sister was born he told my mum that he would always take care and support us so she didn't need to get a job. When he got depression and only did a little bit of work from home we had very little money, we had a nice house and a beach house aswell, my parents decided to sell our home and move to our beach house I was only 13 and didn't know that we had no money or that my dad was depressed just that something wasn't right. After we moved to our beach house I figured out what was going on as neither of my parents were happy, we had very little money and my mum started to drink every couple of nights she would get very drunk and sing till she passed out. Then about a year later we had sold most of our expensive things we had very little food and the bank took our house as dad couldn't work to pay the mortgage, we wer bankrupt. We moved into a rental house where our beach house was and both my mum was one a unemployment benefit and my dad on a sickness benefit for depression, nothing was going good my parents were not happy with each other or me and my younger sister dad watched tv all day and mum drank. Then my dad moved to Australia saying that he would earn some money and everything would be ok, mum is still on a benefit but we get very little money and my mum drinks every night until there is no more alcohol left in the house this is hard for me and my little sister as we don't know what to to do, she does not get abusive or anything she sits at the computer listening to music and crying for hours. My dad sends me some money every week which I then give to mymum when we have no food or when she needs money, I want to go and live with my dad but can not leave my mum as she will get less money from her benefit and I don't think her and my sister will cope. My dad wants us to all move to Australia but my mum thinks that he doesn't love her anymore and that he lied to her, she tells me he promised her that when my sister was born she wouldn't need a job that he would take care of us, now shes 45 and has no career. I don't think that me and my sister should have had to have grown up like this over the last 2-3 years but there's nothing I can do. I know there's other people in the same situation as me and I would like to know how and what you have done as I do not have a clue what to do. I want to help my whole family I feeli need to quit school and get a full time job to support my mum and my sister and then maybe my dad will come home, can anyone help me, I'm lost and afraid?

Wow I have to admit that kind of sounds like my life... My mom is an alcoholic as well and I haven't really talked to her about it. I think she started drinking when my older sister went off to college. She has gotten way fatter since then, too. I believe she has lost hope. This drives me crazy and makes me very upset. I sometimes cry too. But, like you, I don't really talk about how I feel and it's really hard for me talk about her problems with her.

ok well cold trukey i gusse make sure no alcohol is in the house and if you are driving her avoid liquer stores.i under stand but cant do anything about it (my mom is too) hope that helps.

my mom has been one for idk how long i have to be the parent luckly i dont have any siblings i figered this out a few days ago i understand its very hard i have hated my mother but i cant mom out or anything. shes a singles mom sence i read this i wont let my mom get me drinks (soda water).sstay stong stop talking to her if u have to or yell at her just to stop then if she doesnt liston then stop talking to her untill she listons to resoin.hope it doesnt come to tht good luck

the "i love you" doesnt work slaping makes it worce besided a momatary sober momant (sometimes) try talking to your dad.rehab might help but i might only help for the time shes in rehab then start drinking again.

i have never really considered my mum as an 'alcoholic' until recently when i realised the extent of her wine drinking to up to 3 bottles a day, i had always acknowledged the fact that she drinks wine, but i guess i have never wanted to believe the amount and what it was leading to. i go to uni so its very hard to keep track of what she is doing when im not home, especially as my dad and her are divorced so she lives alone. I feel so helpless and wonder why my mum (who used to be so beautiful, slim and thrive on life) has turned into a depressed, wine dependant loner. from a young age it has always been just the two of us, striding through any problems that life threw at us. But now, with half of my family living on the other side of the world, and the other half worrying about my granddads cancer and dementia, whilst also caring for my grandmother, the family have often felt distant to say the least. she knows she has a problem, we have both been to the doctors, and they say they are currently referring her to a local addiction society, this i believe should be encouraging her to stop, but it seems wile she's waiting for the letter, she's carrying on as normal, and as far as i know, she may of even thrown away the letter to pro-long the process of getting better. A couple of my friends have lost their parent through alcoholism, and it seems through explaining to her my concerns, and showing her my feelings through getting upset and being an emotional wreck about the problem has done nothing. has anyone actually found a way of getting through to a parent? or has it taken the breaking point for them to realise what its doing to themselves, let alone the ones that care for them? thank you for your time x

My mum an alcoholic :/ im just so numb from it all, cant cope i go out to try and avoid the rows between my um n dad.. She stops the drink for like 2 weeks then shes back on it! Awh iv tried just about everything... but listen u arent alone..

Hi i know this is an old thread but I'm getting quite desperate. my mum is an alcholic but in a strange way. She starts to drink in the evenings i wont stop until she passes out. She doesn't deprive me of anything which is why i hope i dont sound pathetic but im sick of a mum who drinks at least two bottles of wine to herself every night (thats if she has next to no money that day) and refuses to admit she has a problem. She says she would d anything to make me happy but she wont stop drinking and never explains why. Its got gradually worse with her hiding it from me. I constantly find wine bottles in black sacks and hidden in cupboards i rarely use. She drinks in her bed on her own but its not out of embarrassment or shame its to avoid me saying something. I know this story is nothing compared to some on this thread but i cant stand it anymore. I never have friends round past twelve because im wrried and i always dread coming home. I feel normal all day when im around friends and college and im happy but i soon as i see shes drunk i instantly become a horrible person and i go into my shell. Every time i mentin it its never a normal discussion its a full blown shouting match as she becomes threatened. I have never spoken to anyone about this as i dont have anyone. I dont want my friends to find out because its embarrassing and i dont want them to think less of me. I'm 17 with amazing grades so far at A levels and im going to mess them all up and have no future especially if i follow through and live on my own. Again im sorry my lngparagraph sounds pathetic in comparasion to others but I dont know how much longer i can live in this state of near depression of much longer.

I have trouble with this too I am 13 and my mom has been struggling with alcoholism since I was 8 it is really degrading I don't live with her and haven't since I was 9 wham my parents got divorced I am now scared when my mom doesn't answer her telephone and when we get calls late at night I am recently having trouble because my mom got sick and got a cat when she wasn't allowed to ( only one animal in her house cause its a rent and we have a dog) and so on Friday me and my lil sis were at my grandparents and my grandma told me to go check the weather and I knew she was talking to my grandpa about mom and it wasn't good I felt like I had many times before I wanted to rip my ears off and run away. So today was my lil sis big day at church confirmation and first Eucharist and that's a big thing and mom wasn't there and dad didn't really care so it was just me my lil sis and my grandma ( grandpa just got his knee replaced) so it was really kinda depressing because its supposed to be really special but nobody seemed to care and I had all my family come to mine so it really didn't seem fare to my sister:(

I know what you going through. I'm really sorry. Im going through it too.

I can relate i've be going threw the same with my mother , i'm lost depressed sad all the time , I take care of her more than I take care of myself , its truly a sad thing I wish I could just run from all of this ... I DONT KNOW WHAT  TO DO :(

I can totally relate to all of you, it's so nice to know im not the only person dealing with all these problems. I never considered my mom as an alcoholic until around the time I started High School. I'm now a 18 and a freshman in college and it's worse than ever. I didn't even apply to the colleges out of state that i wanted to go to because i didn't think she'd be able to take care of herself alone. I live alone with my mother and i feel like the parent a large portion of the time. I want to go to a college that's further away but i know that i cannot leave her alone. I have to hide her keys every night and i end up dumping out her alcohol every night after she passes out.  When i was 12 years old she hit a car head on while drunk while i was in the car and i have a scar on my neck i have to see everyday because of her. I end up having to pay rent every month because she runs out of money because she spends so much on alcohol. She's gotten into many accidents, yet has never recieved a DUI so she always claims she isn't drunk and can drive.  She makes 'friends' while drunk that end up taking advantage of her or end up stealing from her and she never seems to see a problem. Her family doesn't invite her to holidays or parties anymore because she gets violent and crazy when she drinks. Everyday when i get home from school or work she's on the couch either passed out or she gets wild. She says such mean and hurtful things towards me when she is drunk, and she tends to blame all of her problems on me. She tries to 'hide' her alcohol and acts like she doesnt drink but as soon as i get into the house i can tell she's drunk. She pretends shes 'fine' and acts like I'm the one that's bad. I'm so sick and tired of it. Home should be a place to relax, and rest, yet i feel like when I'm home, I'm a constant babysitter. She drinks as soon as she gets home from work and all day on the weekends. I have no idea where to turn because it's very embarrassing. All my friends have had an encounter with her being drunk because she's always drunk. It's so embarrassing. My best friend and i have actually had to carry her inside the house from our backyard because she passed out. I'm very lucky to have my boyfriend because he is very understanding of her problem. It does cause some issues between us sometimes though because i am very ashamed of her problems and i feel like i have to cover them up somewhat because i dont want him knowing how bad it really is. He tells me that i should just call the cops on her but i just cannot. She's my mother and i love her. And i know if i did report her for drinking and driving that i would have to pay for all of the fees and everything. And i know that sounds selfish, but no one helps me with rent or with gas or with anything i have to pay for. I just think it's pathetic that every large event in my life thats rememberable involves her being beligerent either during or shortly after. Proms,  Birthdays, Holidays, after getting my license, Graduation, after coming home from my first date, after my first day of work, first day of college, etc. I just feel like it's a never ending cycle with her and that ill never be able to break free of it. I want to look for an apartment with my boyfriend, and i want to go to the college of my dreams and i just cannot do it because i know that i wont be able to leave her alone without being worried sick that she's gonna hurt someone or herself. I dont know what to do anymore and I just wish she'd stop. Ive had to put up with so much, and im so tired of it.  It can be so very hard on the family, harder than our mother's could ever imagine. I just don't know what i can do for her anymore.

Your not the only one, my mothers been drinking from as far back as I can remember, many of times threatening to leave because she's been so 'out of it' I'm 18 now and it's still the same, seeing her drunk makes me furious more than upset. As it goes, she's standing in the kitchen as drunk as a skunk at the moment. Nothing's helped her, ughhh.