I’m 20 years old and I started having sex with my boyfriend (21) a few months ago. A week ago, my mum asked me if we’d had sex. I didn’t want to lie to her so I said Yes. Now she can’t even look at me. She says I’m a disappointment, and she’s a failure as a mother. I find her whole attitude hypocritical (she was married at my age) and selfish. She is now making it very difficult for us to see each other, and bursts into tears whenever I try to speak to her about it. I am really angry with her, and my entire family now knows. It’s embarrassing and I don’t know what to do.
I think it is a generation thing. You said she was married at 20. She may have waited until then to have sex. Now, she sees you sleeping with your boyfriend.
Times have changed, significantly.
Tell her that things are different now. Maybe she'll talk about it. It might help for you to understand why she feels this way.
Hi Question time,
Your mom will be fine and she will get over this. You are a grown women and it is your rite to enjoy a sexual relationship with your boyfriend. It would be different if you were a young teenager, she would have the right to be mad at you. It's important that daughter's have that special kind of relationship with their mom's but...she has no right to ask you if you are sexually active. If she felt that she needed to be that nosy and ask that personnel question, then she needed to be prepared for the answer that you gave her.
Also, you are 20, she can't make it hard for you to see him. Leave the house, go to his house, get a motel, climb up a damn tree and do it, if you want to see him, there is not much she can do to stop you, short of nailing the window's shut or tampering with your car. I don't blame you for being mad at her, i would be furious and you have the right to be upset with her. I am a mother of 5 kids, and i have been thru it all with them. Sometime's we can be a pain in the ass, but she is really taking it to the extremes with this whole thing. Get on with your business, and don't include her in your private life, it's not her business. I know you probably feel bad, but oh well, just know that she will get over it sooner or later. You say she crie's when you want to talk to her about it, i have the answer for that one, don't try anymore. You don't have to explain yourself at all.
Good luck hon, i'm here if you need to talk some more.