My boyfriend has a 10 & a half inch penis, will the sex be good or bad?

My boyfriend is HUGE! :-P But if your boyfriend is 15 then i think hes putting it on about his 10 inch penis! Hes barley finished growing yet, so dont take his word for it! :-) If its your 1st time it will hurt at 1st while your getting used to it. The best way of 'taking it easy' is just to make sure your well lubricated, if not then it will hurt alot :-( But just dont take his word for serious coz its possible that hes trying to impress you :-) X

Sorry Folks it's me again. One of my clever clients reading over my shoulder (something they should never do without a cup). He pointed out that I wrote that guys have to answers to the question about how often they bring their nipples into play. First, many guys tell me their nipples are DEAD (that's why he wore a black tee shirt all the time.... sorry, it's my way). I take that topic and give them an earful. First, your nipples won't be sensitive till you start including them in sex, and they won't make you see God the first time she nibbles on them. That's another problem, women often have nipples far more sensitive than men. SO GUYS DON'T CHEW ON HER NIPS TILL SHE'S BEGGING YOU TO CALL AN AMBULANCE. With women start gently and get more and more "rough," BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE TELL HER WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND ASK HER TO HIT YOU ON THE HEAD WHEN YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR. For men, you have some advantage because you can play with your nipples almost anytime, anywhere. (Men need to know about SELF SOOTHING. Next exam wear a shirt that buttons down the front, and NO TEE SHIRT. When you get nervous or tense take to fingers (usually right index and right middle finger) and slide them between two buttons (if you don't have enough room UNBUTTON A BUTTON) Get two fingers in there and just gently toy with your nipple and/or your chest. If you have chest hair, knock yourself out. Folks watch men at the beach. Half of them, while talking, are touching their chests. Why? Because it reduces tension and makes them more relaxed. This works if you're sensitive or not. It's just petting yourself. It can really kill nerves and get your focus back, and it feels good. I tell guys to use self soothing to go to sleep. Most of them have one area they like to sooth first. That's great, but once you're a mess, rub it in (all over your body) and try running your fingers around your chest. Why we've lost touch with this may come in the next part.

When I ask guys if they like their nipples yanked and bitten during sex (this is a great way to slow down your orgasm. FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T BE AN I***T WHO DOES MULTIPLICATION TABLES, OR IMAGINES HAVING SEX WITH THEIR GRANDMOTHER OR WORST OF ALL ROTTING MAGGOT RIDDEN FLESH. NO NO NO NO. You need to learn simple control. Why must you keep pumping? Is there a law that says if you stop she can kick you in the balls. When I say, "Take a Break," I don't mean read your Organic Chemistry text, NO NO NO, take a break with your whole brain focuses in your penis. Kiss her all over, pull out a silk scarf and drag it over her clitoris. This tells a woman that you haven't forgotten that she's there. Flip her over and have some fun with a little baby oil. Too many young m****s think once the penis enters the vagina, IT STAYS THERE TILL IT SHOOTS THAT WHITE STUFF. (I've got to say something here. Why on earth do you treat cum like Toxic waste. I've seen more than my share of men having sex by jacking off. Everything is OK..... totally unimaginative and boring as hell, but they get the job done. Their penis begins to fire, and suddenly they are terrified their own semen might touch them, like on purpose. Out of 50 men, maybe one will have fun finger painting their chests with cum. Do you think you'll shrivel up and die? We know the truth now don't we fellas. We think touching cum is gay. It's just fine if your girlfriend swallows it, and presumably you like her....... but if you touch it...... OH yuck....... may as well buy a sundress and a bonnet. Fools. Your balls work all day making that gift to you. Just think how they feel. They give you this "gift of life" (just half..... PHEW!!) and you grab for the Kleenex. Guys have all kinds of UNSAFE SEX, as long as they don't have to touch that awful stuff........ no, that's for her to swallow. Your balls work overtime so you can give your girlfriend a snack. Guys, I'm so ashamed of you for doing this, thinking this.

Let me give you the other thing they say about NO TOUCHING MY NIPPLES IN SEX. Guys come up to me and say they don't ALLOW any bed-mate to TOUCH their nipples because IT IS GAY. It takes me a few minutes from rolling on the floor, laughing so hard the tears are rolling down my face. Even answering this id****c information, keeps making me laugh every fourth of fifth word. I want to run out in the hall and find someone I know and drag him into my classroom, so Mister Macho can tell him why his nips are OFF LIMITS. Then he rolls on the floor. I'd love to meet the joker who came up with this. Damn, it's gotta be one of the BEST practical jokes of all time....... DAMN!! I only wish I'd come up with it. Guys, to answer this statement, this is one of the dumbest, most foolish, stupid pieces of information I have EVER heard. I'm laughing while I'm typing this. I can see the scene..... it opens in a bedroom, the leading man has just given the gorgeous leading woman one hell of a kiss, then she rolls toward him to bite his nipple, and he SCREAMS!!! "Holy sh*t don't bite my nipple. Are you trying to turn me gay." So as I see it playing with nipples doesn't turn you gay, and if it doesn't them what do you have to worry about? Now I'd just love to start the rumor that licking a guy's nipples will turn him gay, but I haven't got the heart. Students will believe almost everything.

Guys, I hate like hell to burst your bubble, but most of what you know about sex IS DEAD WRONG!! This is stuff you didn't learn in school, didn't learn from books (OK 2 out of 100 read a flier in the health office....... that DOES NOT COUNT!) I hate to sound cruel but American sex is EXACTLY like the c**p you see in porn, and in porn the guys never touch their load........ YO!! GUYS!! IN PORN FLICKS THE GUYS ALSO DON'T COME INSIDE THE WOMEN......... DO ALL OF YOU PULL OUT AND CUM ALL OVER HER? (hey, don't knock it, but do not do it as a Birthday surprise. Women watch you and think it's radioactive waste too.

Ready? Here comes the payoff. You'll be able to point to this and discredit me, but I don't care. First, if you're smart you'll ditch the underwear, except jock straps because they make you feel like a HOT MAN. I was five when I started asking why I wore pants under my pants. Well, some of you are going to have a lot better personal hygiene. If you need underwear to act as a portable toilet paper, YOU'RE A PIG. So wash. That's right, WASH. Second, go out and test this. It will knock you on your ass. If you're getting ready to go to a mixed social, without a particular date. Take a shower. PUT ON NO DEODORANT OR ANTIPERSPIRANT. I'd like to see them go out of business. They do nothing but harm. I have all my clients and students 86 that stinky c**p, as well as cologne. Men have had decades to learn to use this stuff, and still think you put it on by the cup. Try smelling HUMAN. The guys, especially the jocks will tell me how raunchy they smell. They're right, but the answer isn't to cover it up with stronger smelling c**p. If you stop using underarm junk it takes your body from six to eight weeks to go back to NORMAL and guess what, ya know all those pheromones you've read about. Women will actually be able to smell them. I love when a student hands me an article about the attraction sent out by males as pheromones, but it doesn't work when you're got an inch of wax under your arm. Have you ever chowed down on a pit full of any gunk. I've thrown women, politely, out of bed and asked them to shower. If they don't feel like it I drive them home. I don't eat wax filled with some very dangerous chemicals, and if nothing else they clog every pore in your pit, so forget your animal appeal, you buried it. For the month or two when you ten to smell a bit, just stop in the john get two paper towels, open your shirt, and wash (with water) under each pit, and then dry them. It won't kill you for six stinking weeks. Here comes the bomb. For the hell of it one night I was going to a horribly boring dinner, so after I showered I whipped up some cum. I took the toxic waste and put some in each palm, then I rubbed it in each pit. I figured, what's the worst thing that can happen? The guys will think I just got laid in the coat room. Golly how will I EVER live that down. I had no less than six people FOUR WOMEN and TWO MEN ask me what the cologne I was wearing because it was exotic and different, and absolutely fantastic. I told them it was a gift and didn't recall the name. One of the chicks called me relentlessly so I told her it was $500 for a tiny bottle (I needed the money!! Christmas was coming!). She didn't care if it was $500 because her hubby wore so much c**p that she thought she'd eventually pass out in the car. The single largest complaint about men from both women and men (ME) is that guys don't understand the concept of "just a touch." We grow up in the school that says, "If a pinch of salt is good, then a whole box of salt will be better." (Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know how to use salt, but in all the other stuff you insist that if four cylinders is good that eight is better. Since that night, I wear cum from time to time. The only comment with a wink in it was a guy who said, I wish I'd spent the last hour doing what you were doing. Actually I was correcting papers and I was tempted to let him. That is it. When I cum I enjoy it. Sex is a messy thing. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REJOICE IN THAT NOT WEAR HAZ-MAT SUITS!! Good sex yields sweat and cum and saliva and when you mix them all together you've got MORE SEX, AND MORE SEX. Those of you who run and get a towel before the cum stain sets are the ones who have twenty minute sex till they kill themselves. Enjoy the mess. Good Lord, I teach guys how to cum three times in an hour. If they clean up, they might as well go home after the first big clean up. My partners look like hell, but feel like heaven. I love hearing how they couldn't stop smiling....... well, I do tend to tell a lot of jokes........ but you haven't lived until you've tried Tantric sex, and FYI neither of you hardly moves. She sits on your lap, facing you, with you inside her, and I tell you how to master your penis so that it does all the moving for you. Every once in a while women SAY the pass out a little. I also love to cum all over her, and after two or three hours, we mix all the great stuff coating us, and go crazy licking it off. Now I see where that makes me gay, but what does it make her? I'm gonna have to give that some thought.

At the moment I have to go and kill a client who should have gone home HOURS AGO. They all get to be HUGE PAINS IN THE ASS, but I never lie to them. I like the work, but they are ENORMOUS PAINS IN THE ASS. Same thing goes for kids.

Well you have what I left out and more. Playing with your nipples has never turned anyone I know gay AND anyone who wants their girl to play with their nipples has turned out to be gay. All I know is I get a lot of letters thanking me, for pages and pages because for the first time in two years her boyfriend didn't pile drive his way to orgasm, two minutes after they hit the sheets. She told me he was all the way up to 20 minutes, and was talking about going for a second orgasm. It made me so happy I cried, and came again, this time not alone.

This is fine as far as it goes. I'd like to add a few bits of information. The vagina, and most openings in the body are capable of stretching. You're right, length isn't the "Big Problem." It's the guys with big fat penises who have to learn a few things. One of them is called FOREPLAY. I know it's a new word for most of you guys, but basically it means you neck and pet and have some fun before you get to the Feature Attraction. In addition, all women do not lubricate the same. Some guys leak precum like a rusty pipe (this is a good thing...... the next guy who complains about this is going to get decked....... well, verbally. Precum IS male lube and it helps, if you make enough. Here again, you'll notice, mostly when YOU'RE ALONE that you make more the longer you play. ) Some guys make far less precum and although I've read lots of ways to increase production, I haven't found one that's terribly satisfactory. THAT'S WHY THEY MAKE KY JELLY. Any woman of any age may need lube, especially if this is your first time together and she is nervous, and even more so if you take her to your room, throw her on the bed, tear her clothes off, and start trying to slam your penis into her. I only wish that for one day YOU were on the receiving end of this treatment. I'd like to see you take a dildo the size of your penis, and with no lube ram it up your ass. I promise you won't EVER forget it. So if you have brains, you test the waters. I'm presuming you're clean, and your hands have been washed since you saw the Superbowl, but as a part of foreplay you play with her vagina......... you know the way you do in the car before she "gives it up." If you force your penis into her, it hurts and she will be gunshy of sex for a while. That's why so many women say they're looking for "tender lovers." Translated into English this means, a guy who is not a close relative of the Missing Link. If it's a couple's first time, GO SLOW. It won't make you gay....... cross my heart (Hell, it's all guys seem worried about). GO SLOW. TAKE IT EASY. TRY FOR FUN SEX AND DON'T ACT LIKE SHE'S A BLOW UP DOLL. WITH THE DOLL YOU WON'T NEED LUBE, BUT YOU'LL PROBABLY BURST HER BEFORE YOU GET IN HER. Younger women versus older women, is a debate best held among women, but this much I know. Most older women have more experience, and they will often lube themselves. They may even put your hand down on her vagina indicating she wants you to get her ready.



Guys what's the rush. Turn ESPN off and stop trying to hear the score. Pay attention to your partner. My question to YOU, BIG MEN IS HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE SEX WHEN YOUR penis IS LIMP AS A NOODLE? WELL FELLAS HOW CAN YOU EXPECT WOMEN TO HAVE SEX WHEN THEY HAVEN'T HAD ANY PREPARATION. Even if she is excited, it pays to, during foreplay, check her vagina to see if it's wet. And if you've had problems in the past because you have a baseball bat for a penis, then you'll have to do more than the average guy (which by the way changes from one report to the next. The last I read penises are growing the same as average height. We are eating better and exercising more. It's evolution folks. The girls want the tall muscular guys, hopefully with a brain, and their kids are taller and better looking as the generations pass.



All I'm saying is you get hard in a tenth of a second; it may take her longer to catch up. The id**t tries to jam it in, and gets the rep for being a lousy lay (go ahead caveman plow on, and she'll give you a review that will stop your phone ringing unless you're one of ten to twenty BMOC's.) Use your hands and tongues to help enlarge, excite, and get her natural lubricantion flowing. Stop rushing. And when you enter, you don't get points for how long it takes to reach pubes on pubes. Go slow, and play with her whole body. I don't know about you but a blowjob that is just a mouth, leaves me cold and wishing I'd taken care of myself. I want her hands all over me. I want her finding all my fun spots......... YES, ALL OF THEM. And every guys knows EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN. You're a fool if you've never felt an orgasm with a finger up your ass, BUT I HAVE NO DESIRE TO DEBATE THIS BECAUSE MOST OF YOU MEN AREN'T CLEAN AND READY. It's sad. We have poorer sex lives because of stupid fears. You have bundles of nerves back there, not to mention the prostate (it's worth traveling to the far east to experience an all day pleasuring of the prostate that totally empties you of every last drop of cum at the end in one HUGE CLIMAX AND EJACULATION. I've seen a guy shoot for well over two minutes (like pissing cum) and producing almost two ounces. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. But remember two women massaged his whole body, all day, with almost constant massage of the prostate and other areas. They know what they're doing. But half way though all I kept thinking was "I bet they're dying to get home kick off their wooden slippers flop into their favorite chair and have a beer. I'd also like to know what they consider a hard day at work..... he just came and came and came and wouldn't stop, finally Joe had to give him a karate chop to his nuts or he'd have gone all night...... plus, we were running out of buckets. Yes, I'm bad, but my clients NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE.

control wrote:

mytwins2 wrote:

I am 8 inches long and very girthy,it all depends on your body,I have been with some women that are small framed 5-0 and they handled it good in fact it seems like the bigger the woman the harder it is for them,also you did not mention your age but older women seem to take it easy and they are willing to take it with no hesitation,and what I find kind of wierd is that the average size for a male errect is 5 1/2 inches and when the older women just take it and dont hesitate leaves questions in my mind if the average is 5 1/2 so if your boy friend is 10 1/2 then he is double the size of average which means that he is 1 10th 0f 1 %...

This is fine as far as it goes. I'd like to add a few bits of information. The vagina, and most openings in the body are capable of stretching. You're right, length isn't the "Big Problem." It's the guys with big fat penises who have to learn a few things. One of them is called FOREPLAY. I know it's a new word for most of you guys, but basically it means you neck and pet and have some fun before you get to the Feature Attraction. In addition, all women do not lubricate the same. Some guys leak precum like a rusty pipe (this is a good thing...... the next guy who complains about this is going to get decked....... well, verbally. Precum IS male lube and it helps, if you make enough. Here again, you'll notice, mostly when YOU'RE ALONE that you make more the longer you play. ) Some guys make far less precum and although I've read lots of ways to increase production, I haven't found one that's terribly satisfactory. THAT'S WHY THEY MAKE KY JELLY. Any woman of any age may need lube, especially if this is your first time together and she is nervous, and even more so if you take her to your room, throw her on the bed, tear her clothes off, and start trying to slam your penis into her. I only wish that for one day YOU were on the receiving end of this treatment. I'd like to see you take a dildo the size of your penis, and with no lube ram it up your ass. I promise you won't EVER forget it. So if you have brains, you test the waters. I'm presuming you're clean, and your hands have been washed since you saw the Superbowl, but as a part of foreplay you play with her vagina......... you know the way you do in the car before she "gives it up." If you force your penis into her, it hurts and she will be gunshy of sex for a while. That's why so many women say they're looking for "tender lovers." Translated into English this means, a guy who is not a close relative of the Missing Link. If it's a couple's first time, GO SLOW. It won't make you gay....... cross my heart (Hell, it's all guys seem worried about). GO SLOW. TAKE IT EASY. TRY FOR FUN SEX AND DON'T ACT LIKE SHE'S A BLOW UP DOLL. WITH THE DOLL YOU WON'T NEED LUBE, BUT YOU'LL PROBABLY BURST HER BEFORE YOU GET IN HER. Younger women versus older women, is a debate best held among women, but this much I know. Most older women have more experience, and they will often lube themselves. They may even put your hand down on her vagina indicating she wants you to get her ready.

Guys what's the rush. Turn ESPN off and stop trying to hear the score. Pay attention to your partner. My question to YOU, BIG MEN IS HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE SEX WHEN YOUR penis IS LIMP AS A NOODLE? WELL FELLAS HOW CAN YOU EXPECT WOMEN TO HAVE SEX WHEN THEY HAVEN'T HAD ANY PREPARATION. Even if she is excited, it pays to, during foreplay, check her vagina to see if it's wet. And if you've had problems in the past because you have a baseball bat for a penis, then you'll have to do more than the average guy (which by the way changes from one report to the next. The last I read penises are growing the same as average height. We are eating better and exercising more. It's evolution folks. The girls want the tall muscular guys, hopefully with a brain, and their kids are taller and better looking as the generations pass.

All I'm saying is you get hard in a tenth of a second; it may take her longer to catch up. The id**t tries to jam it in, and gets the rep for being a lousy lay (go ahead caveman plow on, and she'll give you a review that will stop your phone ringing unless you're one of ten to twenty BMOC's.) Use your hands and tongues to help enlarge, excite, and get her natural lubricantion flowing. Stop rushing. And when you enter, you don't get points for how long it takes to reach pubes on pubes. Go slow, and play with her whole body. I don't know about you but a blowjob that is just a mouth, leaves me cold and wishing I'd taken care of myself. I want her hands all over me. I want her finding all my fun spots......... YES, ALL OF THEM. And every guys knows EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN. You're a fool if you've never felt an orgasm with a finger up your ass, BUT I HAVE NO DESIRE TO DEBATE THIS BECAUSE MOST OF YOU MEN AREN'T CLEAN AND READY. It's sad. We have poorer sex lives because of stupid fears. You have bundles of nerves back there, not to mention the prostate (it's worth traveling to the far east to experience an all day pleasuring of the prostate that totally empties you of every last drop of cum at the end in one HUGE CLIMAX AND EJACULATION. I've seen a guy shoot for well over two minutes (like pissing cum) and producing almost two ounces. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. But remember two women massaged his whole body, all day, with almost constant massage of the prostate and other areas. They know what they're doing. But half way though all I kept thinking was "I bet they're dying to get home kick off their wooden slippers flop into their favorite chair and have a beer. I'd also like to know what they consider a hard day at work..... he just came and came and came and wouldn't stop, finally Joe had to give him a karate chop to his nuts or he'd have gone all night...... plus, we were running out of buckets. Yes, I'm bad, but my clients NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE.

I am truly sorry, but I make my clients swear to use safe sex. Nothing I've mentioned doesn't presuppose safe sex. I've lost too many friends and seen the horror of STD's. If you have unsafe sex, not only are you a m***n, but the partner who allows it is too. And there is NO CURE FOR AIDS. I am astounded by the number of college students who think HIV is cured. There are various drugs that prolong life, but not everyone can take them, they all have side effects, and YOU ARE HIV POSITIVE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. The odds of finding a cure are right up there with building a city on Mars in the next five years. HIV is a nasty virus, and what everyone is hoping for is a vaccine to protect people from being infected. My heart goes out to all those who are HIV Positive and I honestly hope we find a cure, but virologists are saying it's a pipe dream at this point. We can't cure the common cold. We are making progress, but we're far away from anything approaching a cure.

Sorry, but I'd have been quite a jackass if I'd written so much and left this out. My clients MUST use safe sex. If they don't I'll make them impotent for a week the first time and a month the second. I didn't spend five years learning hypnosis for nothing. Oh they can get excited and even cum, but their penis remains fast asleep. I used to keep their messages on tape. I wanted to make a comedy album of all the "reasons" they had for needing a working rod for a particular hot date. No, I NEVER relented. Yes, I'm a real bastard. And it's one of the first thing I tell everyone, even at parties, and everyone who knows me agrees. Even my students will back me up. I don't deal with the details of their sex lives but if they annoy me all kinds of misfortune may befall them.

no offense controle but i think that is the longest post(s) i have ever seen XD XD XD XD

On the contrary, I love people who speak their minds. Yes, I'm always bursting with information, and most of what I know is nearly impossible to find. The rest is horrible misinformation. While teaching high school I had a session with each class where I opened the box of their questions, and after reading some terrible incest suggestions, started to hit pay dirt. I got the lowdown on current male BS about protection for STD's and pregnancy. One girl said her boyfriend told her she couldn't get pregnant if they had sex in the pool because the chlorine in the water would kill his sperm. I let her know that if she indeed, filled herself from fallopian tubes to uterus with chlorinated water, it just might work. You could ask the EMT'S on your way to the emergency room. (you'll know many of these, I've been using them on stage for a long long time). One girl said her boyfriend told her she couldn't get pregnant if they had sex standing up because gravity would pull all those little swimmers out of her. The FAMOUS GRAVITY THEORY OF BIRTH CONTROL. I told her that indeed standing while having sex had an effect called pregnancy. I've heard every story in the book and often can't answer till I stop laughing.

I had a "Tour of Duty" at the Seminary, and was shocked to learn (a long time ago...... like that matters) that my course was the ONLY SCIENCE COURSE THEY TOOK. I found it impossible to believe so I decided to test them (many were SENIORS ready to get their outfit, which used to bring, and often still does, INSTANT RESPECT, AND THE IDEA THAT IF A PRIEST SAYS IT, IT MUST BE TRUE.

I came in with a bright smile and asked an easy one...... "What are testes?"......... DEAD SILENCE........ I made it easier and said, "you know testicles.".......... dead silence. I thought they might be nervous so I told them all to point to their testicles. They pointed at their ears, their nipples, their knees, several knowing I had a rep for being "filthy" several pointed at their crotch, but none of them pointed down, they pointed at their penis or thighs. One guy pointed to the blackboard. I gave him an "A" because I had indeed written the word on the blackboard. I asked what a clitoris was, and called on people by name....... nada. I asked where the breasts were, and THANK GOD A FEW OF THEM KNEW. I was beginning to think I was on Mars of in a horrible nightmare. When I got to anus, and not a soul knew what or where it was, I knew I'd either start laughing or crying. They had the class listed as "Biochemistry." I asked them what CARBON was and no one knew that. They didn't need to know how to Bar-B-Que, so Biochemistry went out the window. YOU MUST REMEMBER THAT THESE GUYS WOULD BE CALLED UPON TO COUNSEL PEOPLE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED AND MARRIED COUPLES HEADED FOR DIVORCE. Not knowing where the clitoris was, might well be why she wanted the divorce in the first place.

Next class I borrowed an XXX movie made for "educational purposes," which meant no dumb story lines, although it always began with a happy couple talking about how happy they were. The movie had three parts. Can I get anyone to guess what the three parts covered? three positions, three blind mice, three types of sexual orientation. Everyone who answered three blind mice, see me after class for a spanking (no hulks, I'm not a teenager any more). Well the first movie showed two very loving lesbians, and didn't immediately run for the toys. It actually showed two women having pleasant sex, no great shakes, but certainly the basics. I had my pointer out (you filthy pigs......... OK, I had my pointers out) and tried to show them parts I'd given them lists of TO GET THEIR DEFINITIONS. The room of around 30 young men (I use the phrase loosely) were cringing, covering their eyes, or making pre-puking noises. I thanked the Lord for sending me this trial. I quietly SCREAMED FOR THEM TO WATCH THE DAMNED MOVIE! They were more scared of me than the two chicks on the screen. They caught the tail end (Oh shut up!) Then we got to Part II....... two hot young men, one blond and the other tall dark and hunky. Well suddenly you could hear a pin drop. I was totally puzzled. Why had the women put them off so terribly while the men had them hoping we'd get to see the two guys across the hall in part three. Hey, it's the truth. Oh dear we had a few embarrassing stains on our slacks that day....... NO NOT ME. I thought they might applaud at the end...... It must have been the camera work, the stereo sound, the sharpness of the picture, the wardrobe (made by God........ who could make better wardrobe?). That had mixed reviews.

The Dean called me in. I figured, "Oh well, it was a horrible gig anyway. I'll be happy to mosey on down the trail. He was happy. He naturally didn't approve of the gay stuff, but since it helped the students to see the parts of the body, "we" made an exception. There's more but it's would make this answer longer than the rest.

By the way folks, this is one of my primary therapy tools. I tell stories from my life. I can talk about near death experiences, refusing to wear anything in the hospital, the drugs they gave me, and the drugs the patients brought in. I'll be doing a one man show soon, watch for it. The working title is "Lies Your Father Told You." And take bits from my life and lots from my clients, all of whom were happy to be involved. I let them know I'd change their names and one guy is still pissed because he wants me to use HIS REAL NAME. He's worried his classmates won't believe that's him. I'd spank him if he didn't like it so much.

I'll leave you with a piece of interesting information. Please note that every story has information in it, some more than others, but some are used because they parallel the client's problem. You wouldn't believe how many men don't have a clue exactly where the clitoris is. Thankfully most know it exists, but they need a flashlight and a map to find it So this story let's them know IT AIN'T UNCOMMON. Also, get your premarital advice from a sex therapist or an educated counselor (not educated about religious dogma, someone who'll tell you everything, and won't stall on the "icky stuff."

I put that box on my desk, in every class. I follow MY RULES and it I get fired or rot in hell, I guess it will be ALL MY FAULT..... BOO HOO!! In addition, on three (or four) instances I taught in all boys schools or all girl's school. My first job, some of the girls were a year older than I was, and the only men in the building were the 70 year old engineer, and yours truly (young and cute as a button).

I taught all girls first, and I was amazed by their questions. THEY WANTED TO KNOW ALL ABOUT BOYS. They wanted to know how small the smallest penis was and how big the biggest was and how big the "normal" penis is? They wanted to know girth and how long it takes a guy to shoot a load, and how much goop does he shoot? How often a guy can cum? They asked me how to tell if a guy was gay? I thought everyone knew that, but they didn't want the piddly stuff, they wanted all the more subtle cues. I said, "If he wants to know more about your older brother than you, that's not good." If he ignores the big hooters on the waitress but watched the waiter walk away with great interest. If during a movie he gets the boner of the year during a male/male scene, he might just be gay. Then I told them the BEST METHOD, you ask him, and don't settle for a "no." Ask him if he was ever in a circle jerk (look it up). And don't expect squat if you aren't understanding and non-judgmental. This is NOT easy and he may NEVER have even thought about it. Let him know it's nothing he did, but something important to any relationship ESPECIALLY IF YOUR MOVING TOWARD "SERIOUS" AND SEX. If he gets angry, ask him why the question bothers him so much? And if you make any of these sound like a police interrogation, you won't get anything. This is NEVER a topic for the first date, and wait till you know him better. Don't play "private eye" and go through his stuff. And don't screw him up. This question is going to prompt a return question and that is, "NO, WHY ARE YOU ASKING? DID I DO SOMETHING?" This question hits a guy where he lives and if he's kind and gentle and thoughtful, it doesn't mean he's gay. You should be looking for guys who treat you well, and stay away from the a*****e who treat you like sh*t. You have no clue how often that goes in one ear and out the other. Stay away from guys who drink too much, are constantly showing off, never shut up, talk ONLY about themselves and NEVER ASK YOU YOUR LAST NAME. I watch some of the best and brightest girls I know being treated like dirt by some guy she utterly worships.

So the girls wanted to know every single detail about boys. They rarely asked how do we know when WE are gay? or What's the average size of breasts of the clitoris etc. Women always seemed extremely content with their femininity. That is primarily because they have very little to prove. They grow breasts and have all the other equipment and they're happy.

Now when I taught all boys, there were lots more suggestions that I get to know my mother a LOT better. I told them, truly how weak that was and gave them ten far better insults. NO, I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU. Boys wanted to know how big the smallest penis was, the biggest, and the average......... AND THEY WANTED TO KNOW HOW TO GROWN ONE DOWN TO THE FLOOR. I actually gave them several suggestions. YUP! and you don't need anything you don't already have. The more tissue in engorged the more it gets used to being "larger" and soon it's bigger than when you started. Men learn what a KEGEL is and do 500 a day. This is the single most important piece of information YOU are NEVER taught. If you want to get hard as marble when you're 95, do 500 kegels in the morning and 500 at night. You can do them in class or while having a conversation. I may as well tell you fast, THIS IS VITAL FOR WOMEN SO WHEN YOU HIT 60 OR YOUNGER YOU DON'T START LEAKING URINE FROM YOUR URETHRA. Kegels are so simple. You have a muscle called the PC muscle it runs from your anus to your meatus (a****le to pi****le). Guys a kegel is an exercise where you clamp your anus (a****e) shut. Do that 500 times, and don't hold it at first just clamp it and open, and close, and open. When the muscle gets like your six-pack you'll feel the entire nerve from ass to pisshole. When you clamp your butt you close your peehole. MEN, when you pee, every time, start and stop and start and stop and start and stop. When you do this you WILL feel it in your ass. Try it the next time you pee, men AND WOMEN, start and then really clamp down, start and clamp (don't hurt yourself). Do them religiously and I can tell you how to have Tantic sex where neither of you move and each of you has a spectacular orgasm. But first you must have that muscle working like the rest. How can you tell. Stick your finger up your ass and clamp down on it, when it feels like you can't pull it out because the muscle is THAT STRONG, you're on the right track.

Guys do kegels and you'll shoot to the ceiling, when you cum, towards the end do a few kegels to get a couple more shots. Practice during masturbation and feel how much harder you get. Kegels make you feel like you can hammer nails with your penis, and if you aren't covered with veins, this helps. You'll be a LOT BETTER SEX PARTNER, because you'll have more control. You can keep your penis in the vaginal canal and start doing kegels (after you've done them for a month......... it's a muscle, can you start lifting at 13, and begin with a 200 pound barbell....... NO WAY. So don't expect instant miracles. You want proof. They asked the best guys in porn how they all can shoot so far. Have you ever seen a guy in porn cum like a sloppy volcano of baking soda and vinegar? No, sometimes they use "cum doubles" and when your PC muscle is nice and hard SHE WILL GIVE YOU RAVE REVIEWS. Slow down, take breaks to suck this and lick that. I love to lay back and say, "Baby I'm all yours, you can touch what you like, and go where you like. Then ask for the same favor. Then go back to plowing ahead........ and stop the in and out....... stay in and start doing kegels. Tell her to relax and concentrate on feeling YOU in HER. You'll be the biggest stud on campus with a few simple moves.

My point is that girls want to know all about boys, and boys want to know all about themselves. Why? Are you serious? Because we have something to prove. Until out first official sex, in the vagina, with an actual cum, and hopefully take longer than ten minutes, and you're in like Flynn. However, this is still a "D" in my class. Each time I expect you to take longer by doing all kinds of fun stuff. Let her tie you up and tease you till you're crying, "Please make me cum. I'll buy you a house. I'll give you my car. I'll be your b****. Just please for God's sake make me cum." Words I love to say and hear. If after sex you get, "That was nice, goodnight." WOW, what's your secret? It's when she says, "Ahhhh can we do this again, and can I sleep over or can you sleep over? Can we do this right away in the morning....... OH YES. Let her tie you up when you're hard, awake and have to piss like crazy. Put a pad under the guy, in case he really does have to go that bad. FOLKS, IF HE PISSES, IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. I KNOW, I KNOW IT'S DIRTY AND FILTHY........ BS...... UNLESS YOU ARE SICK OR HAVE AN STD THAT GETS INTO YOUR URINE, IT IS STERILE. FRESH FROM THE BLADDER URINE PASSES THROUGH ONE MEMBRANE AFTER ANOTHER....... IT'S CLEAN. YA WANNA KNOW WHAT'S NOT? SALIVA. Not so much STDs (but it can have some), your mouth is full of every bad bacteria and some viruses that in quantities can make you very sick. If you go into an ER with a HUMAN BITE, and the skin has been broken, they don't kid around, they clean the bite and rinse it a few times with peroxide or stronger antibacterial agents. Your mouth is dirtier than a toilet seat.

Sorry, this was too long......... Just let me know and I'll stop telling you how to have the best sex in your life and how to get a bigger penis and how to cum two or three times in an hour. Honest, I won't say another word. I can keep all this information for my clients, who are now known as the "Best Lay On Campus." And guys with big penises 8" to 16" you should hear how women b**** about YOU. They say that you think that big salami is all you need. That you think they'll die the second they see it. WRONG!! THEY ARE THINKING, "OH FOR GOD'S SAKE I PRAY HE KNOWS HOW TO USE THAT THING OR THIS WILL EITHER BE BORING AS HELL OR PAINFUL AS HELL." Men need to understand all those proud guys in the shower are not the lovers you might think. Most don't go a step beyond measuring it every fifteen minutes to see if it got bigger. I honestly don't mean to be nasty, but you have the same problems other men do. A long penis allows you to do some wild positions, but if all you know is lie back and let her hop on, YOU ARE A DUD NOT A STUD. Learn what you can do with all that extra penis, otherwise it just takes longer to get all the way in and pull all the way out. YOU HAVE AN ADVANTAGE, BUT WHAT GOOD IS A SPORTS CAR IF YOU NEVER GO BEYOND THIRD GEAR. WHAT GOOD IS A SURF BOARD UNLESS YOU GET A FEW EXTRA LESSONS IN HOW TO DAZZLE THE CROWD. BIG penises LOOK GOOD IN CLOTHES, AND MAKE PEOPLE NOTICE YOU. I've dealt with a lot of clients who curse their big penises because women complain that it hurts and he is ashamed of his tent (that's when I slap him....... or if he b*****s about precum..... you have a gift and don't even know it). And all of you, stop being terrified that your penis will show. I haven't worn underwear since I was around ten (best guess). I had the same dozen pair of BVD's that I took out of my drawer every week and threw into the hamper. Every week the same shorts. I hated being cramped and as for boxers....... WHY? They didn't feel better, make me hornier, or accomplish squat. THE ONLY REASON I LIKE JOCK STRAPS IS BECAUSE I LOVE HAVING MY ASS HANGING OUT AND THE REST GOES WHERE IT WANTS......... EVERY ERECTION, EVERYTHING FALLS OUT OR CLIMBS OUT...... I LOVE THAT. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, IF IT EMBARRASSES YOU. BE PROUD OF IT. YOU CAN PUSH IT TO THE SIDE FOR FORMAL DINNERS, OR WEAR A STRAP, AND YOU'LL BE READY FOR A GAME OF TOUCH FOOTBALL IN YOUR TUX.

LATER,

c

p. s. REMEMBER, IF THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH BS, TELL ME AND i WILL STOP. iT DOES FEEL WEIRD STILL STUCK ON THIS "QUESTION" SOMEONE PLEASE ASK SOMETHING NIFTY. AND NO I WON'T SUGGEST SOMETHING. ASK ME YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SECRETS. I WILL ANSWER ANYTHING, UNLESS IT'S JUST TOO DAMNED PERSONAL. LET'S SEE...... I hate sex under two hours. I love sex that goes from after dinner to after breakfast. I like feeding my partner while they sit on my penis. Doesn't that sound nice? or same sitting arrangement only let her feed me (it's better because you tell her to make sure to be very very sloppy, end up wearing most of your breakfast. I LOVE ASIAN FOOD FOR DINNER, NO UTENSILS, INCLUDING CHOP STIX. EAT WITH YOUR HANDS, OR BE DARING AND EAT WITH JUST YOUR MOUTH. DRINK THROUGH A STRAW, UNLESS YOU'RE A VERY VERY BAD BOY OR GIRL. AND NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE SEXUAL POWER OF A SPANKING. HAVE HER USE YOUR BELT ON YOUR ASS. OH LORD!!! THAT'S GOT TO BE ONE OF THE REASONS GOD THREW IT IN. THERE'S A GREAT WAY TO SLAP A penis, BUT IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT JUST HURTS. IF I AM NOT TOLD TO SHUT UP, MAYBE I'LL TELL YOU THAT. RIGHT BEFORE SEX OR RIGHT AFTER. I USUALLY CUM IN THE MIDDLE, AND THEN JUMP MY CRUEL penis BEATER. DO NOT TRY THIS WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING OR YOU'LL JUST HURT YOURSELF AND BLAME ME........ AND I'LL CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP. GOTTA RUN.

SORRY I DON'T PROOF THESE ANSWERS. I HAVEN'T THE TIME AND I CAN'T FORCE CLIENTS TO DO IT. ACTUALLY I CAN BUT I END UP CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP AGAIN. TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT. IF YOU CAN'T SEND ME THE SECTION AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY.

***edited by moderator*** bad words not allowed

One more fast reply. I'm not certain why but cocks seem to be getting larger. I give Hypnosex experiences once in a while in a private home. Guys generally arrive in couples, and in no time they're rolling around. I relax till everyone is happy, hot, and ready. I tell them a few things to expect and start to put them under. Sex is a great motivator, and I rarely have trouble with guys resisting. They have to be at least a foot away from each other and cannot touch. They can't cross their legs and have to leave their arms at their sides. I explain all of this and do several demonstrations of why these positions are important. I've seen a lot of d***s, but I haven't seen such a high concentration of cocks eight inches and more (sometimes lots more). I currently have a client. Nice guy, salt of the earth, and disowned at twelve for having "funny feelings" in the locker room. His father had been telling him he was the work of the devil for a long time referring to the size of his penis. The first time I saw him we talked for an hour and I wanted him to experience an orgasm that rivals any that most have ever had, including me. He stripped and shocked the sh*t out of me. I've seen ds that were 12 to 14 inches when hard. This guy's di** is that size when it's limp. I tried not to act too surprised and put him under. He had a great deal of ambivalence about the process and I kept giving him the chance to stop at any point. He said "no, he was determined to do it" When he started getting hard, I started shaking my head. This is certainly the largest penis I have EVER seen. He added another five inches and he wasn't done yet. I NEVER measure d***s. There's no point to it and it just makes size an issue, which is why I see so many messed up men. He was over 20 inches fully erect and his d**** slapped his belly. I still find it amazing. The sad thing is that he sees it as a curse. He lost his family as a result of it........ but he's finally seeing that as more of a blessing. He misses his brothers and sisters. The problems he had were awful. He continued to go to school, but kids knew he was moving from house to house. He won't talk about how he survived at first. He came from a very religious background, and that certainly didn't help. Apparently word of his size spread fast and in no time he was slipped a drug, one of several that are currently available. He woke up two days later in a motel room filled with strangers. He'd been r****d multiple times and his penis and very large testes had been injured. I have no clue about any of this it was years before I met him. He found a man willing to take him in for the usual trade off, but it meant being used by one guy. Twice more he got drugged and gang raped. Once one of his street pals got paid, apparently, to get him a burger and coke, and once more he woke, tied to a bed and whipped. This was worse than the first time. He doesn't even talk about the third time. If he wants, in time, I'll take him back to remember, but only if it's his need. By the time I met him he had a job in a garage as a mechanic, but his car broke down once and I had to pick him up and take him to his work place. I hated the place and instantly knew this was the wrong thing. I eventually got his first actual boyfriend to get him to me and we found him a real job where his sexual orientation didn't matter. So d***k size is all over the board. I've seen the averages change depending on the survey and how it was done.......... blah, blah, blah. This guy cannot have what anyone would call "normal sex" he can't have comfortable anal sex, and oral sex is limited unless you go to the circus. At this point I haven't a clue what the average is. All I can say is that I see groups of 30 to 50 and it sure seems like the averages are going up. Obviously this is hardly scientific. This isn't a random sample and so it's all subjective and anecdotal. I know a lot of guys, and a lot of ex-clients who are gay, and all of them lean in the same direction. Ten inches isn't that unusual at all. That's why I dislike talking about size. Size can look great and indeed be a curse. And not only from kids on the street. I've met with guys so large around that most women won't even try to have sex, and it IS possible given time and patience. So this guy has a massive di*** that he gets to enjoy more by himself than with anyone else. Once upon a time, the big d***s were all in porn, but no more. My advice is learn how to be a spectacular partner and your lovers will toss the rest of the guys larger or smaller out and want you to stay forever. Guys, there are lots of things that trump a big d***, and the first is enthusiasm. The guys who walk into the bedroom like they own the place are the ones women complain about the most. Too often they think that big d*** is all they need to send any woman to heaven.......... ! I've had a lot of experience as a partner and as a therapist. As a partner I am confident but there are miles between confident and filled with hubris. Learn what you're doing, plus some wild tricks, don't EVER copy sex that you see in porn, and don't get hooked on the idea that sex is all about cocks and balls and p**** and a****s. If that's what you see when you think about sex, you're going to have a tedious sex life the moment you settle down. Try having sex without touching her p****y or your d**k. I have clients take turns giving each other baths. And there's NO penetration because on his night, he doesn't do a thing. She undresses him AT THE DOOR, and while he waits reading the paper she gets the bath ready. She leads him in, and usually they begin with him/her sitting down. She can use a small sea sponge, or her bare hands, and don't miss a square millimeter of skin, and drive him/her insane. Then have him stand and start all over again. You're at the tub, you can take a tour of the whole body. When that's done, if he wants she can hop in the shower with him for a little penetration, or not. Then she dries him very slowly. If he's not hard for most of this you're doing it wrong. While he's in the water you can rub one finger up and down the underside of his d**k (this doesn't have to be a time when you leave those parts out........ save things, don't do them all at once. That only insures that you'll be rushing and or lousy at them.) In the bath it's all about you cleaning his skin, and you can take a long time....... make sure he's really clean and then start it over with him standing. You may want to wash the perineum (between balls and a****le) with a finger, back and forth, and one finger under his d**k going up and down. Have him lay down and watch all the tricks his d**k can do when you toy with it. It will reach up to make contact with your finger........ have him show you. Watch what his hard penis does while you finger his balls. And now's the time to learn how sensitive the insides of his and her thighs are. You can get a man or a woman off by spending lots of time running your hands up and down the insides of his/her thighs...... slowly...... like you're petting them...... and once in a while make contact with what he or she's been dying for you to touch. This aspect of sex opens doors for each of you. I hesitate to mention enemas because men as so dumb about some things. If you've never had your prostate or G-spot massaged, sorry, but you haven't lived.



To sum up, d***s come in all sizes, and I never cease to be impressed, right when I think I've seen it all. And for god's sake explore your body, by yourself or with someone. Guys if you don't want to have her massage your prostate, then some night when you're alone, give yourself a clean out, and with a small finger sized gel dildo find your prostate........ it's under the base of your penis (get a book on anatomy). Wait till you get to a TENS unit and the magic of electricity. Here's a way to give me one orgasm after another till I'm shooting air. And it doesn't feel ANYTHING like sticking your finger in a light socket. If you know how to use a unit you can have a blast....... and several blast offs....... and so can she.



Stop being boring as hell. Sex isn't just in and out and in and out and in and out and oh oh oh I'm cummmmmmmming. G'night honey. Lemme tell you, if you're dealing with the same conventional sex, and know nothing about the rest of you. That is what you are destined for. I can tell you right now, I have couples tell me walking up to the bedroom to have sex starts to feel like walking to the gas chamber or the firing squad. The worst twenty minutes of the week or month.



C



***edited by moderator*** bad words not allowed

Its most probable that the guy is exaggerating his size jus to make the girl curious. If its true then its gonna be painful during the first days particularly from the fact that you said you have never had sex before, cant say how long its gonna take you to get used to his size then. Sex is nice when you are both comfortable.

I think he's practicing for his master's thesis

I feel like I need to learn more words, now

njoynlife wrote:

Biomajor'10 wrote:

no offense controle but i think that is the longest post(s) i have ever seen

I think he's practicing for his master's thesis
I feel like I need to learn more words, now

Hi gang,

Thanks for thinking I'm so young and upbeat that I must be a really HOT guy in his early, early 20's working his ass off for his M.A. Man O Man do I remember those days. I trust you understand that graduate school is just the price you pay to join the "club." But have no fear I'm in the club BUT admit it as seldom as possible. I tell people that I'm a gas pump jockey who just learned how yous read, and I can't stop.

I got my M.A. when men were still hitting the women they liked with clubs, now they have to TAKE THEM TO CLUBS, and you need lots and lots and lots of dough to go clubbing, however, I found that if I PRETENDED to be really well educated (with maybe even a GED) they'd let me in for my monumental intellectualism jeans.

Last time I looked the graduate degrees and documents (suitable for framing) I had put my MA, far into my past. How could I possibly know that American Sex Education STUNK ON ICE. Sorry I've gone a tad beyond my masters and have so many courses, all over the University that the government is tired of underwriting my education. Yeah, ya just can't let students take too many courses "willy nilly," or they'll begin comparing them and get waaaaaaaay toooooooo cocky (yeah, yeah, yeah I've been cocky all my life. THANK YOU JESUS!!). I refuse to display my degrees and have yet one more thing help build a wall between me and my students/clients. I also don't do well at parties, and $500 a plate dinners. For $500 they should serve Gold plated Truffles (yech!!! Our culture is so class conscious that we'd eat bird sh*t on a cracker if it was bird sh*t they found in birds dead a million years, and only recently discovered in an Ice Berg. Yup!! My kinda food. If I want c**p that's many years old all I have to do is look in the back of my refrigerator.)

Also, it's a BIG "no no" to EVER call me the "D" word, so they refer to me by the first letter of my first name or the first letter of my last name, or "Hey You," or "Yo Mister." or Reverend (I display that document, so they know if they piss me off, they'll burn in hell. I even have a list. Kids don't rush to my cork board to see their grades, they race to the "These people will burn in hell, so dress for a very hot summer's day at the beach, on the sun."

Sorry, it's my way. I bet you'd all kill to get into one of my courses........... that is NOT meant to sound like "the sin of pride." In my classes you learn by screaming at each other while I cheer you on........ it's kinda Socratic, with far too much swearing. You kids all need your mouths rinsed out with soap, and while we're at it...........

Off to meet the wizard (I need a six foot penis......... for a friend) And if I borrow it for the night it won't hurt one bit. You'll gaze up into my smokey gray eyes and beg to be my sex slave......... sorry, that position, and several others, have been filled, and I'm only one AMAZING MAN. Even if I had an identical twin, they'd refer to ME as the Smart Gorgeous one, with ****************** to die for.

Lemme leave you, as usual with one small piece of information. We live in a world of hatred and pain and hunger and prejudice and violence instead of affection, and violence instead of love. After YOU HAVE DONE YOUR BEST TO HELP, you can either go home and cry or laugh. Neither changes anything BUT YOU. One makes you a bitter, loner, who wants to hurt everyone (and thus, part of the problem. I've been told maybe six times that there was a good chance I'd die. I said, "Boo Hoo. Would all those who wish to give the poor dying guy a blow job get in the line around the block, and the other two should just go home and stare out the window.

Simplified, you can either laugh or cry. Crying people are a downer, even to themselves, but once I get them laughing I meet another wonderful friend who teaches me a great deal until he/she can't take any more, and tries to kill me......... and frankly I'm too damned cute to murder.

C

C

YIKES!!! I am terribly sorry, but if you're going to edit my writing for "bad words" I am done. Let me explain. I teach about sex. If I talk about the glans and the meatus and the corpus and the anus, I will lose far too many people. If I swore to "demean" it would be one thing, but far too many people need some street talk. Good Lord, if "penis" is too strong for you, than I'm sorry but you're defeating your own purpose. If I want to write or teach I begin with coarse language. I often explain actions in two ways, one the way their friends would explain it, and one the way a professor would. I want to reach everyone. If you can't see that then sadly we must part ways. Young people deserve so much more than we give them. Frankly, I find it very troublesome that words used are more important than content. If this was an sixth grad class I'd haul out the diagrams, and spend DAYS explaining each part. Doing that here would bore the s**t out of me.

I can kinda sorta understand using censors when tender minds are reading what I write AND AND AND it is salacious in nature. I don't writ to get readers off, and if they get excited here and there, I say YIPEE!! Why, because learning is optimal in two settings, one is laughter (which can win and lose ELECTIONS. Take a historical peek at what Chevy Chase did to Gerald Ford on Saturday Night Live. By the time they were finished the public thought Ford was a bumbling fool who talked to stuffed animals, and was the clumsiest man on earth. They made him seem stupid. It was a matter of weeks before everyone believed the satire. We elected a m***n for saying, "Where's the beef?" and got royally shafted. So humor can tell you volumes on current beliefs and mores.

LOOKING FOR A GREAT THESIS TOPIC IN "COMMUNICATIONS?" OR "SOCIOLOGY" ...... OR HISTORY........ AND EVEN OTHERS IF YOU SLANT IT TOWARD YOUR FIELD OF STUDY. MAKE THE TOPIC "THE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE EFFECTS HUMOR CAN HAVE ON THE POLITICAL PROCESS......... OR BETTER "THE POWER OF HUMOR TO SHAPE OPINION"........ IN ADDITION THE STUDY OF HUMOR TELLS YOU A GREAT DEAL ABOUT THE TIME AND PLACE. JOKES PARALLEL WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND US. HUMOR CAN TELL YOU VOLUMES ABOUT PREJUDICE, LEVELS OF EDUCATION, SOCIAL MORES, INFLUENCE PEDDLING. I CAN GO ON STAGE TONIGHT AND LAUGH MY BUTT OFF ABOUT THIS WEBSITE, AND BRING YOU READERS FOR A WHILE OUT OF CURIOSITY, BUT THE MORE I EQUATE IT WITH LAUGHABLE, AND SURE YOU'LL FIND AN ANSWER, YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND IT, BUT HEY THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM (DON'T GET YOUR JOCKEY SHORTS IN A KNOT, I'M NOT WORKING TONIGHT, AND FRANKLY THIS ISN'T THAT IMPORTANT TO ME. I WAS LOOKING FOR A FUN WAY TO TAKE BREAKS FROM WRITING OR RETURNING A MILLION PHONE CALLS, AND MORE PROBLEMS THAN I'D BORE YOU WITH. BUT IT'S A GREAT TOPIC. DO IT RIGHT, AND NOT ONLY WILL YOU GET A PAT ON THE BACK, I HAVE A FEELING IS YOU MAKE IT "SEXY" (only a term used in publishing that means it's exciting and has some HUMOR in it, as well as some sex........ and use all the clinical names and you'll be on the "Clearance Table" in a week. Take a look at the Best Sellers List and take note only of the new guys. Established authors have a following.

So there you got, a great topic, that will be interesting to research, to write, and one that may bring you a few bucks (after my cut.)

SO LAUGHTER TEACHES, AND VERY EFFECTIVELY. IT ALSO GARNERS ATTENTION , CATCHES INTEREST, AND INDUCES PEOPLE TO READ ON.

The second important teacher is using street language IN IT'S PROPER CONTEXT, and once in a while for a laugh. Kids learn most of what they know from an older brother or the kid down the street. He doesn't know what a penis is (although younger kids are getting more and more conversant with body parts (but the "cool kids" will NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS CALL IT A PENIS). Do I like it. Well guys, in the scheme of things with war and economic depression and hunger, and kids blowing away their friends, and gay bashing at a record high. It means PEOPLE ARE ANGRY, so if you corner me on the use of street language. In general I'd correct my kids, but they wouldn't spend months in their rooms. I'd tell them that using that language makes you sound crude.

HOWEVER, as a teaching element, when it's the common language of REALITY, I'll use Greek if it gets more kids to understand me. Do you really think I'm better off filling them with information they don't understand because I lost them at scrotum, then you need to rethink your policies. If I was referring to people, actual specific people, then I'd let you cut it, if it really bothered you, BUT WHEN YOU BECOME A ROADBLOCK TO EDUCATION I'LL EITHER GO AROUND YOU OR RIGHT OVER YOU. This attitude that rules are absolute under all circumstances has people in prison for life for stealing a twenty dollar bill.

Sorry guys, but I will never stop teaching, and if that means using the common words till you begin to pick up the proper words via reading and my gradual changes here and there in class, YOU ARE DEAD WRONG. IF ANY COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY SAID THE SAME THING, AND SEVERAL HAVE TRIED WITH NIT PICKING LESSON PLANS, I'LL TELL THEM TO SHOVE IT UP THEIR RECTUM (now why did I say rectum instead of anus?). That my friend is how you move from slang to the actual language of higher education.

I can't believe you do this. It saddens me that words matter more than what they convey.

I usually scan the internet for new and different websites. You may think you're doing a great job, but FOR EXAMPLE when teaching SAFE SEX, would you seriously prefer that I teach the subject with half the kids not certain what I said or what I meant. And by the way, talking about sex is very iffy. Most students will die before appearing ignorant. And they don't rush home to look up five words they didn't know, because by then they'll have the meaning, but forget what it was about that place or organ they needed to know. On subjects like these the first question is usually, "Will this be on the test?" If I say, "no," I have that ONE SHOT TO GET THROUGH TO THEM. I CAN'T PRESUME THAT THEY KNOW EVERY WORD......... SOOOOO KNOW THAT I'LL SAY WHAT IT TAKES TO SAVE THEIR LIVES EVERY F**KING TIME. We can clean it up for their Obit.

I've heard all the rebuttals, and they are all as hollow as the groups that develop them. I've studied the psychology of group communication. Every person who walks through the door to take part in a group meeting has his/her personal agenda, and the rest be damned. It's so easy to blast away, but this is what's wrong with laws that prescribe ABSOLUTE SENTENCING, even if the guy stole to feed his starving children.

It's censorship that gives these silly words their power. I've been in comedy for a long time and it still amazes me that every time the dork with the mike says, "F**K" he gets a laugh. The answer isn't to ban the word, then you REALLY GIVE IT POWER. The answer is to define it and use it over and over till people FINALLY get sick of it.

You'd love my mother. She read my last book and called it porn because it had the word "f**k on page seven. My mother didn't care what i wrote, she counted the "bad words." Ahhhhhhh the joys of coming from a family of Born Again Christians. I mean no great offense, but they talk endlessly about not judging others, and proceed to do nothing but talk hate for the next half hour. AND YA KNOW WHAT. THEY DON'T SWEAR ONCE. BE AS HATEFUL AS YOU LIKE, JUST WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.

I'll miss this. I was having fun during writing breaks. WOW wait till mom reads this one!!!

So long. I wish you prosperous lives full of education from everywhere you go, but stay out of the poor neighborhoods, even if you thesis is about POOR NEIGHBORHOODS because you'll be mired in a sea of filth.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Again sorry, but this one should grab you and not let go.

Sorry, but ya wanna know what filth IS, what needs IMMEDIATE CENSORSHIP,......... Gay Bashing, wife beating, child abuse, and hate in general. Not long ago I got a call from an ER. A patient was asking for me and they told me to get there as fast as possible. Naturally the hospital was an hour away. I got into my car and floored it (I'm not in favor of speeding..... God Forbid). I got there and the ER waiting room was small with only a couple people in it. I grabbed the first nurse I saw, told her my name and she took my hand. Before she opened the curtain she whispered, "prepare yourself." I've heard it before and now it's just a string of words. This time I NEEDED IT. I SAW A GUY THAT USED TO LOOK SO HANDSOME........ AND AT LEAST HUMAN. I recognized him from around twenty years ago. I hadn't begun my practice, wasn't done with school, but the owner of the bookstore pulled out this impressively handsome young man. He was around 20 to 25, blond, with an "aw shucks" smile. He was so cute I almost pinched his cheeks (the ones on his face). We found a room (the whole place was still under construction) and he asked me how to tell his parents he was gay. Great, make the first one simple. I talked and laughed with him. I spent a lot of time on safe sex before it was terribly popular, and told him that the only person who could answer his question was him, BUT I told him to take his time. I'll call him Ben, and a kinder boy you could not find.

Today I saw him.......... missing a face. I have never seen anyone so deformed after a kicking from hell. The cops had a word by word, kick by kick description from the neighbors. NOT ONE OF THEM DIALED 911. THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS.

Two cars had almost collided because a dog with a leash was in the middle of the street covered in blood and limping. Most of the blood was Ben's. WELL DAMN IT. HE WAS IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME........... walking his dog, a block from home. He was in a sweat suit, but the guys knew he was gay. He read to the blind, and visited shut ins, a real pervert. I touched his chest and wanted to kiss him, but couldn't find one single spot that wasn't a mess. I had to get under control. I kept saying, "Ben, I'm here and I will not leave you. I have to run and park my car. I needed to make sure this was the right place. I ran as best my messed up legs could carry me. I got into my car and had a melt down. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and pounding my steering wheel, and crying for all our souls (or whatever). I come from a violent home. I am not docile. I wanted to kill someone. I wanted to get a sound truck and tour the neighborhood that watched him nearly kicked to death, being called....... bad names (is that OK?)

I had to get under control. You never let a client see you falling apart, because they follow your lead. If you're crying they figure IT MUST BE BAD. I couldn't talk. My brain had no words.

While they were kicking him on his knees he only begged FOR ONE THING. HE PLEADED WITH THEM NOT TO HURT HIS DOG. THE COP WHO TOLD ME THAT HAD TEARS IN HIS EYES, AND I'M A................. BIG MESS. HE WAS SO KIND, SO SWEET THAT THE ONLY THING HE CARED ABOUT WAS THAT THEY DIDN'T HURT HIS DOG. AND THEY HAD A DOZEN EYE WITNESSES WHO CONFIRMED THAT HE KEPT SAYING THAT, EVEN WHEN HE COULD NO LONGER SPEAK, BECAUSE THEY BROKE HIS JAWS. They kept trying to count the number of time he'd been kicked, starting at his feet and they kept losing count by the time they got to his crotch (can I say crotch?). From what I saw, he'll need his whole reproductive system rebuilt. They kicked him apart. They tried to destroy him, and frankly I think he survived because he was so worried about his dog. And if you don't think I'm crying at this moment, you're.......... wrong. I'm not breaking the "therapist rule" never to show horror or sorrow or shock. I understand it. I've seen parents cry and watched their little boy or girl believe they were going to die. (Oh yeah, I worked on the "Cord Unit" for a while downstate.......... mostly young guys who got hammered and dove into a glass coffee table. They wake up and are in low light, unable to move, tied to what looks like a giant hamster wheel. They think they're dead, and they can't even scream. It all depends on where the cord is broken, high or middle or low. I had a great job. I prepped the family. It wasn't immediate. My"chat" took place after he'd been to surgery and was "stable." I could NEVER cry here. I told them their son would take his cues from them. Generally the family was in hell. I'd tell mom she was the ONE PERSON who could cry. It wouldn't alarm him (I asked a lot of questions and got to know the family dynamics). Dad, you MUST NOT CRY. He has rarely seen you cry and if you cry now, he will be certain he's dying or paralyzed or some other nightmare. I told the girlfriend, if there was one, to be upbeat without feeling like an id**t. "Don't worry kid, I'll be with you every step of the way..... yadda, yadda, yadda (I got so I could almost predict when he'd get her dear John letter....... Boo Hoo..... even though she loved him more than life......... BS BS BS (how about BS, is that permitted?)

I'm telling you this so you know I've seen a lot, dozens of friends when I was sick died. And I had no plan to go into anything like this, but I can't sit in a corner and listen to someone........... mess things up. I'd step in at some point and take over. I could fight with her later, right now THE ONLY HUMAN ON EARTH WAS IN THAT BED.

WHEN I SAW BEN, IT ALL FLEW OUT THE WINDOW. HOW, HOW.......... OH GOD HOW COULD THEY WATCH AND DO NOTHING? At least call the cops. Care the little it takes to make a phone call. They must have seen them beating him till he didn't look human (he'd been picked up and held). I wanted to put my fists through the wall. I wasn't interested in standing in a circle and singing........ but that's me. I waited in an empty semi private room for a few hours. When they brought him in his head was the size of a pumpkin, and they had some wire here and there. This was WAAAAAAAAAAY out of my league. The surgeon told me that he was fighting the pain meds and the anesthesia (left over), and they didn't know why. At least they gave me a hand....... a hand....... I got a hand. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I watched him groan to the marrow when then moved him into the bed. The surgeon told me how lucky he was........ he very quickly changed his wording and apologized before I started yelling. They didn't know me here. I held his hand. I petted his hand, I kissed his hand, and the tears rolled down my face. I sincerely wished it was me. I'm older and I'd have fought back so I'd be covered in these animals' DNA.

He was so restless. I asked him if he knew where he was, and told him to raise his finger......... that blew chunks, but remarkably he was able to squeeze my hand. I told him to squeeze for yes, and harder for no. Believe me I tried everything. I asked him if there was someone he wanted me to call....... no........... Was he in a lot of pain........ no........ Could I do what he wanted....... yes. Was it a question...... yes. Great now what. So you have a partner....... yes. Where is he (DUH!!) Did he want me to find his partner...... no, and he was getting more and more frustrated. After twenty minutes of this I finally woke up and said. Do you want to know about your dog..... yes....... yes......... yes....... yes. I told him his pup was fine. He was limping but it was from a minor push or a kick that didn't do much (I didn't know squat except the dog was OK......) I rattled on and on and on and on. I figured I looked like the parent telling his boy that they took the dog to a farm wh4ere he could run and play...... but I was sure they said, "they did indeed kick the dog but the dog was OK. I told him that I got about a dozen calls from his friends asking about Ben and then his dog, and asking if they could take care of the dog. By this point he was asleep. PHEW!!! I didn't have a single name to use as one of the dog sitters.

Therapy isn't all fun. You're often Sisyphus and the hill keeps getting steeper.

Just so you know I changed all the non important information........ place, hospital, name etc. The story remains solid as a rock. You have no idea how much I'd like it to be a story. But life is messy and bloody, and the hate is utterly confounding. How can people hate someone they've never met. Why do we beat our kids over the head with the golden rule, and all they've seen is how badly and often we ignore it. Don't turn your kids into mean little........... bad kids (snots, as long as it doesn't offend anyone). Telling this story in the "cleaned up" fashion offends ME. You weren't there. You don't know the horror, and you lose half of what this cost. Ben is still a total mess. I'm trying to get his partner to either stay or leave, but stop pestering me about HIS PROBLEMS. I want to strangle him. I wish I could add some photos to this. You can see his aura in every photo. You can sense how gentle and kind he is. But seeing him now still fills me with RAGE. I'm not a nice, sweet, warm guy. I'm the guy who wants a measure of JUSTICE. Another case similar to this one put away the two defendants for eight months. That's fair. The guy they nearly killed still hasn't the use of one arm, and he needs a walker to get around, but eight months in jail (not prison) must have taught those skinhead........ bad people..... how heavy the punishment will be.

Farewell and best wishes.

C

Hi. I am a 38 year old woman who has been in an affair with a married guy who is 14 years my senior for the past 16 years.He is very well endowed and reaches 9 inchs in length and 5 inchs in girth.My problem is that whilst I am quite tall 5 foot 9 inchs I am a very slight person - I am a natural 6 and weigh just under 8 stone.(In my early years I was Anorexic and suffered from Bulemia for a number of years and watch my weight all the time).
When we make love I experience pain during intercourse but as someone else posted a week ago,the pleasure outweighs the pain as I build up to my Orgasm.My partner has often commented that my Vagina is raised,which I can only put down to my eating disorder.
Is this correct?

Also as he is married,when we meet up the love making is intensive and it is not unusual to have intercourse five or six times in a short time span,and my Vagina is extremely sore later.

my vigina is sore after sex. i dont really understand why i get like this ... i duno how to describe it it just hurts after! :S X

Two things Heva.Are you sufficiently wet prior to entry and how long does your guy take to cum(ie.you may be drying out during intercourse)? I assume he is not overly large as you make no mention

Use lots of lube, but he must be above average to be saying that it is THAT big, however you need to tell him how comfortable you are with how much of that thing is inside of you. Sex is great no matter what, as long as the dude knows how to use it. Just be sure to be VERRRY informative for the first time.