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Me and my bf have been together for over 2 years, its a long-distance relationship. We both are 18 years old. The start was cold but after 3-4 months we both got serious with each other, he used to be the BEST lover i have ever seen. He'd be there whenever I cried, he'd comfort me, send me ecards, emails, sweet msgs, text me that he misses me out of nowhere, he used to called me 4-5 times everyday. He would go crazy if i was ever mad at him, he even slitted his arm for me once when i wasnt believing he loved me. He used to love a girl older than him before me, but when he got me, he stopped loving her. He cut all contacts with her for me over a year ago. He proved he loved me in every way, he went crazy when i left him for a few days, he sent me mad emails, ecards, and begged me to take him back and that he would die without me. He told his family about me and i told my family because he wanted to marry me. I accept my fault that i argued alot with him in the past and he got fed up with me, but eventually i stopped. I only argued because i knew he'd never leave me, but i was wrong. After October 2008, he just TOTALLY changed! I cant believe what he has become, he would laugh when I cry (sarcastically), he told me on my face that he doesnt care, etc etc. and Finally in december, he told me he wants a break from me, I ended up agreeing with him. But the very next day he emailed me saying, he was just stressed and upset how i argued over littlest thing with him he still loves me and wants to get back. I didnt take him back because i wanted him to realize that im also a human being and it hurts, he made me cry constantly. He promised he'd never leave me or make me cry again, we got back. But after that, I dont know how to say, He has just turned into a freaky jerk. He tells me he hates me, he gets mad if i ask ''are you busy?'', he curse at me, he is always in a bad mood when i talk to him otherwise he is happy. He even left me back and fourth in past 2 weeks but i love him alot i cant live without him, he only comes to me when he wants to see me shirtless, otherwise he doesnt talk to me, all he says is ''ok'' or ''good''. He hasnt called me in 3 months, and when i call him, he ignore my calls and answer when he is in a mood. I really dont wanna let go because i love him alot, spent a great amount of time with him, I want him to change and be nice to me. My friends tell me to leave him for a timebeing so he realizes that he wronged me dearly, but I dont know...I just love him alot...we just talked and he abused me just because i didnt understand what he said, he said im stupid and he cant stand me, he is getting sick of me. just because of not understanding a question? he has become the biggest hypocrite ever! he is becoming worse and worse day by day...yesterday we talked and he lied that he is leaving, i saw him online somehwere else and asked ''i thought you were leaving?'', he answered, ''hey man, give me some space'' in a very rude tone. he has terrible mood-swings, sometimes hes very nice, i dont know...what should I do? I dont want to leave him, is there anything that can change him or atleast improve his behaviour? i want him to come to me himself.

(sorry its very long)

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It's really sad that your boyfriend's behavior changed so rapidly! I think that's very unfortunate because he's being very irrational and treating you poorly. I don't think it matters that you love him or not at this point--he is being abusive to you, and it's not fair. I think that you would do best at least going for couples counseling, if not considering breaking up with him. There's a million other guys out there who would be willing to treat you better! Do you see him often or are you apart for the most part? Good luck to you. And if you do break up with him, do it in public.
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I know that this is extremely painful for you. However, you will save yourself a lot of pain in the future by making decisions for yourself now. I think you should get therapy our counseling for yourself (there are clinics available) to see why you are allowing him to abuse you. I wonder if he has been diagnosed with any type of mood disorders, if he's not just being intentionally cruel. I was thinking that his moods with you went from almost obsessive to hateful. The mood thing is worth thinking about. In either case, he sounds like a broken, wounded person. This can only mean heartache for you. I agree that there are a lot of other men to chose from who will and should adore you and treat you with respect. First you need get health and learn not to accept this type of treatment. You can have a bright future if you take care of yourself. You cannot change people or stay with them in hopes of change. They have to be willing and able to change for themselves.....Please...take the advise you got earlier...Only break up with him in public to avoid any possible harm to yourself. Good luck...Let us know how you are doing.
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