oh god where to start well i have no girl friend or any friends for that matter as my farther likes to remind me every day is the same nothing new happens i work for my self i sell things any way to day i came home i had a good day i had a nuff money to pay the bank what i owe and my uncle wants to go abroad with me i was feeling happy first time in months then i get home and with in 10 minutes my family made me depressed again they they say little nasty things and if i bite and argue back they say why am i arguing i should have more respect so i try not saying anything then they say why are you not talking whats wrong with you what have i done to you now i suppose its my fault you don't have money we had a full argument to the point of shouting and i didn't even say one word there forever reminding me about my faults they take money from me when i don't have it to spare and when i say this they say we raised you its time you pay you're way my dad will come back from work and gloat about how much more he earns then me some days i fink no you're not getting to me today i don't care what you fink im not a apiece of sh*t but like all ways they keep chipping away at me with snide remarks about my weight or hygiene or how i looks how i dress any thing some times i fink there just playing like just joking around so ill laugh and say at least i can read because i think there only playing but then they go red and start yelling if im quite and meek they still pick on me if i argue back i wish i never and if i say nothing i get a punch i just don't know what to do and am sick of trying to be strong and act as tho it dose not bother me am sick of taking all the abuse i just want to be happy for some one to complement me im not a bad person but i am a lonely one i have money worries all the time im for ever stressed and when im not stressed im just bored and sad i fill my time up with books its like what ever i do is just wasting time waiting to go back to work then bed and work again there has to be more to life then that i don't know maybe im the problem maybe im to serious or i fink to much p.s i know my spelling is awful i never went to school family wouldn't let me i had to work with my dad
ive fort about killing my self but im scared that if i do there will just be more nothing
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