Ok so at this point I have no idea whether I will end up gay or not...I am 18 now
Let's begin in my childhood, I remember being strongly attracted to female actresses/ storybook characters when I was young, I would literally go to my storybook and kiss her. I also had my first and only crush when I was 8, (and then at 11/12 ( but that was slightly less)) I was really hung up about her everyday. So basically everything was normal until about 13/14...where I noticed I was kindof losing my attractedness to my girls in my school.
I remember I had wet dreams at the age of 11-13 with girls, but at age 14-15 I had my first wet dream with a man. Somehow it was a rugby dream and I just ended up on the guy, and then I cummed. At that point I already was straight masturbating. At about 15 till now, I have been really depressed and scared that I might be gay, I have a lot more dreams with guys since then...gay masturbating feels more "satisfactory". But I still dont really have an emotional attraction to guys in real life, I still have it with certain girls... The question is should I turn outright gay or not?
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Religious and societal issues aside; you are asking questions no one can answer for you. If you are gay or bi you will know it as long as you are honest with yourself. What you describe is not unusual... again this is barring all the religious and societal baggage you are carrying around... I live in Germany, I was born a grew up here... this are much pragmatic here... first and foremost sexual orientation has nothing to do with your character or who you are as a person... it is merely a preference, that is all... if there are no gender identity issues (a female wishing she were a male or a male wishing her were a female) then all that matters is what you feel. Regardless there are going to be people with no lives or driven by some agenda to set the world the way they think it should be... if you let what other people think govern your life you will never be happy... as long as you are not using or hurting people for your own ends tell the rest of them to get stuff and just live your life and remeber the people who count are those who accpet you for who you are and do not feel a need to change you.
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