i was still a virgin when i married. My husband was very very harsh in the first couple of times we did sex...now after 3 months of marriage i cant forget what he did ,im severly depressed & thinking of a divorce although we really love each other..i have told him that he cant be like this coz he's hurting me,he changed a bit only & cant see that he's harsh.he thinks he's soft !!!! i have lost my sex drive & lost my self -esteem...I cry every single night & vomit, i isolated myself from all the people around me & have diificulty in leaving the house...I have been pysically,mentally & emotionally raped....i lost hope in life & im the most unhappy bride in the world im sure
HELP ME !
HELP ME !
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Celebrity
495 posts
Im so sorry to read you topic.
My only advice to you is you need help from a professional person.
What has happened to you has greatly affected you.
Please go an get some help. Your first step is to go to your doctor.
If you husband was a virgin too, then he may not of known himself what he was ment to do. He could benifit too from talking to someone. If you still love each other, then your marriage could be saved.
If you dont do something, it wont get any better an seperation will definatly be the end result. But by then you could be pregnant an alone with a baby.
Good luck
My only advice to you is you need help from a professional person.
What has happened to you has greatly affected you.
Please go an get some help. Your first step is to go to your doctor.
If you husband was a virgin too, then he may not of known himself what he was ment to do. He could benifit too from talking to someone. If you still love each other, then your marriage could be saved.
If you dont do something, it wont get any better an seperation will definatly be the end result. But by then you could be pregnant an alone with a baby.
Good luck
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If you consented to having sex with him, don't call it 'rape.' That is not fair to him. Maybe your husband does not know what he is doing.
Maybe you should buy a book on sex that emphasizes foreplay and gentleness and read it to your husband. See if he is agreeable to having sex with you on top. Maybe you could make a game of it. Tie him down and make love to him the way you want him to make love to you, gently, explaining you like in gentle.
were you abused earlier in life, or is there some other reason that could contribute to the emotional hurt?
Maybe you should buy a book on sex that emphasizes foreplay and gentleness and read it to your husband. See if he is agreeable to having sex with you on top. Maybe you could make a game of it. Tie him down and make love to him the way you want him to make love to you, gently, explaining you like in gentle.
were you abused earlier in life, or is there some other reason that could contribute to the emotional hurt?
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Aw hun, I'm so sorry this happened to you... It is never okay for any man to force you to do anything you do not want to do. Married or not, rape is rape and it is NEVER okay.
Your post was from a couple years ago, so I hope you've talked to a therapist about this, if you haven't and it is still happening, or for any women who are experiencing something similar, please talk to a professional about this, nobody should have to live like that.
It makes me so sad that in this day and age there are still men who think of women as property and not as a partner.
To Joe, this is not a question of position or "Not Knowing", how could he not know? I'm assuming rape means that she told him she did not want him to do what he did. And then, when she told him he was hurting her, there was little change? This isn't a matter of incompatibility or misunderstanding, it's violence, and not acceptable.
Hang in there sweetie, I know life seems hopeless, but it's not. Please talk to somebody, you deserve to be respected.
Your post was from a couple years ago, so I hope you've talked to a therapist about this, if you haven't and it is still happening, or for any women who are experiencing something similar, please talk to a professional about this, nobody should have to live like that.
It makes me so sad that in this day and age there are still men who think of women as property and not as a partner.
To Joe, this is not a question of position or "Not Knowing", how could he not know? I'm assuming rape means that she told him she did not want him to do what he did. And then, when she told him he was hurting her, there was little change? This isn't a matter of incompatibility or misunderstanding, it's violence, and not acceptable.
Hang in there sweetie, I know life seems hopeless, but it's not. Please talk to somebody, you deserve to be respected.
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Be Patient, I'm sure he'll come around and relax what he's done...And I also think you need to talk to him and let him know that you're hurting, make him understand in the calmest way possible. But rushing into divorce isn't gon a get you anywhere other than embarrassment. He is a man you never know what he's capable of doing.
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