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I live with my husband and his mother. We have 4 year-old daughter. He was finding it very difficult to relate to her when she was younger (he was getting angry with her crying, etc. all the normal things toddlers do) and now suddenly he realised that they don't have a relationship. He blames me for that. I don't know why. On top of everything my daughter was raised by her Gran (husband's mother) and is very attached to her (understandably) as I had to work. Now both of them have ganged againsta me and don't allow me to spend any time with my daughter, especially on my own (I'm talking about my own house!). My daughter doesn't come to play with me if she doesn't get permission from her dad or Gran. I feel awful!! They both believe I'm trying to make my daughter love me only but not him which is not true. I simply was trying to protect her in the past when he was easily irritated by her. She seems very confused by what is going on and tries to stay as closer to her Gran as possible as doesn't feel safe with us probably. I feel a lot of resentment. I can't talk to my husband; our relationship is not good, he hardly talks to me and I am only with him becuase of my daughter (to have a father and some stability) and also because financially I'll struggle if leave him. Please, please any ideas!!!

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I really don’t know what option you have when you are, as you said, financially dependent on your husband. You don’t need me to tell you that its completely mean, to say the least, from your husband and his mother to prevent you from spending as much time as you want with your girl. He can’t “win” her love and affection by force or by not letting her be with her mommy. You need to think what kind of stability is this. You are not satisfied with your relationship –you can’t even talk to your husband, let alone the fact that he thinks you are “stealing” your daughter from him while all of you live together. Do you have any family or a close friend you can talk to? I don’t think that you can change this tough situation all on your own, or of course to make things even worse.
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I am sorry to hear of your problem, I kinda know what you mean, my mother stayed with my father for reasons exactly like what you stated, and now days shes still a mess, all I can suggest in person advice, is look into some form of a job or financial aid, and I don't want to be rude or mean about this but divorce may be the only option, only reason I say something like that, is I went through something similar through my entire life even tho I am only 21. In a situation like this you need to think, "whats best for your self and your daughter" it may be a really hard choice to make, but most of the important choices we make in life are the kind that tear at us until we make the final choice. Yes there is always the option of sitting down and having a chat with them about whats going on but from what I'm understanding thats out of the question. For the sake of your daughter and your self, talk to a social worker about what is going on, you should qualify for some sort of assistance to get by for awhile, but in the long run it will take your strength to get on your feet and be able to support your daughter and your self. I really do hope for the best for you. I know my ideal is harsh, but the thing I have learned is, the truth is never pleasant, I do hope you find some way or form to get through this.
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i think that you should leave him, you should get yourself in school work your way to a degree and then a career, it will take some time but it would pay off in the long run, no one should ever keep a parent away from there child thats just wrong and cruel on behalf of the child, you should really explain that to your husband and his mother,
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