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I just recently found out that my husband has been addicted to oxicontin for 1 year now. He has spent 10,000 dollars on it in the last month. I thought me and my children were being taken care of, myhusband has a great carpentry business and I quit my job of 11 years 4 months ago to stay home and take care of our baby. It is Friday and all of this exthis past weekend. I don't understand addiction, I don't, I have had depression before but could handle it with meds but have  been depression free since my oldest was born 10 years ago. I'm finding out that he hasn't paid some bills and a loan at the bank. I'm helping him, I'm there, Im tryingyo be understanding but while he lays in bed with all the withdrawl symptoms, I'm dealing with this mess and the reality that he has destroyed our family, our dreams and our financial future. I've been on the phone pleading with his clients to hold out, his family, who seems to have known and is a majority of the problem. The thing is I've dealt with his addictions before, alcohol, OWI's, prison, mental abuse from him. I'm an id**t, I know but I married this selfish man so I made my own bed. I need advice from current or former addicts on how to help him with withdrawls, what's he going through and how long this will take? And to the spouses of addicts, when is love not enough?

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Love cannot solve everything. Sometimes you need additional help. Try seeking proffesional help.
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Addicts are selfish my dear... especially when they are on their drugs and need to get their drugs. They will think of every excuse in the world to justify what they are doing. Try not to take this personally... it's not against you. He truly can't help himself and most likely won't realize the damage that he's done until he's hit rock bottom. Sounds like he may be there... for your sake, I hope that he is.

He's hurting terribly right now. If he spent $10,000 on oxy in the last month, he must have been taking a lot of it. Going through withdrawals is a horrible feeling and it can be dangerous as well. It's one of the many reasons that people will continue to take a drug... fear of the pains from withdrawal.

At this point, you need to make sure that he's okay. That his health isn't in any danger. You may want to take him to a hospital so that they can monitor his detox. If he refuses to go to a hospital and chooses to stay in bed than the best that you can do is just be there for him like you are. It will take several days before he starts to feel better. He'll most likely experience the shakes, shivers, cramping in his legs, sweating, vomiting and nausea. Ginger Ale, dry toast and cool wash cloths for his forehead. Pretty much the same treatment you would give to someone who has the flu.

As far as who you chose to be with in life... this life isn't perfect and no one out there is perfect. He must have been good to you at one time because you did marry him. It sounds like he works hard and has built a good business. Believe me, I'm not justifying anything that he has done to you. But, if you do love him and he is the father of your children, as long as he's a good father and isn't physically abusing any of the children, including you, you may want to try some therapy once he gets clean. His addictions in the past and present can easily cause him to act and to do things that he truly doesn't mean to do.

I'm on your side... this is a tough time for you. BTW... I hope that your 10 yo son is in a safe place right now. I don't know if he needs to see what daddy is going through. I don't believe in lying but to protect an innocent child, it may be best to just explain to him that daddy has the flu and is very sick. Maybe it's not my place to give you advice on that but, I have children and I know that I would want to protect them from the truth right now.

Good luck my friend... I hope that I was able to help you in some way. Feel free to reach out again if you'd like. Peace & light.
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