Hey my name is shannon i i had to share this with someone before i do something drastic. I shall start from the beginning. When i was 2 my mom had a miscarrige about 3 months into the pregnancy. I didn't understand why my mm would cry but now i wish i would have. I myself was born 3 moths premature.
When i was 3 three my sister was born. She was 3 months early. She survived but now is afflicted with cerebal palsy. I lived a normal life or as normal as it could be as a sibling of a ceral palsy victim. As you would imagine my sister needed constant care so i did not get much attention and i was fine until i realized it would be liked this the rest of my life. In second grade i ould scream and cry because i had to go to school and my sister got to stay home with my mom. I later learned that i had separation anxiety. I dealt with it. When i got my period in 5th grade(10 years old) i thought i was sick. She told me everything and well i dealt with the insane cramps and heavy flow that she passed on to me. I would gush out blood clots the size of baseballs. I was told that during my bleeding times i was going to be very sick and was anemic. I delth with that as did my mom. In 7th grade i had 2 periods in a month and then they stopped. I then gained about 30 pounds. My first thought was that i was pregnant althought i had never had sex. I just kept thinking about the bible and mary. HAHA. I went to my pcp and he said it was nothing. Ya like a man nows anything. So i went to one of those oh so not painful women doctors that again was a man. He looked at me and bear in mind that i was 11 or 12 i was tramatized. This went on for about a year and i had gained about 35 more pounds by now. This was quite depressing because the week before the double perird i weighed 115. So sad. When to shorted the waiting, i went to an endocronligist.She tested me and to make this short found out that Adrenal Hyperplasia. It is a very rare disease and there is no cure. So i delt with it. I have to take steroids everyday which doesn't make lose the weight but makes me gain. Well Before this was diagnosed i had terrible stomach pains and could not handle any stress. This was brought on my sister having to go to the hospital for 10 weeks. And guees who stayed with her? MY MOM. I had to stay with other family members and was not allowed to stay home alone. So i began to get very tired so i went to the doctos again about a year later and well i happen to have hashimoto's thyroiditis. That is a prestage of hypothyroidism. She then said she will moniter it but you know that never happen and i contiued to feel worse and worse. On one of those "monitering" visits she says that i have been having stomach pains is because i have polycystic ovary syndrom which means that i get very painful cyst on my ovaries. Nothing i could do about that. She then tells me that i am in ovarian failure. Which means my ovaries are not working at all. Everything else i could handle but not this. It meant that i couldn't have kids and hat was the one thing i have always wanted to do. Everyone kepps saying look on the bright side ant there is alway adoption. Its not the same to me.
I wanted to experience everything from the morning sickness to the baby kicking it little feet. I am only sixteen but i went o see if i could et my sister's egg inseminated and inserted into me and since my ovaries do not work, that is impossible. The explained to me that my body in a sence had gone through menopause. I was crushed a second time. I want to make it clear that if i was able to have kids i was going to wait until i was in my 20's.
Anyways somehow i coped with my loss. In 9th garde i was involved in a biology project and was partnered with my friend erik who has had a crush on me since 8th grade. Anyways, the project we were to colect bugs and classify them. I was walking up a slippery muddy hill and fell. I caught myself on a branch and something smashed in my hand. Within the next hour, my whole hnad was swollen and was very painful. I was having chest pains and was short of breath. The nurse refused to send me home until i grabbed her shirt and took the phones acess code from it. I called my mom and she rushed me to the hospital.
I waited 3 hour for someone to come in. The doctor who was a man said that nothing happened and that a caterpillar could not do such a thing.
(my biology teacher helped classify the squished remains) He sent me home and my whole body swelled. I was back in school within a week. I was very upset to see nothing was done on the project but what i had done. So i handed another on of those little white caterpillars to erik. He was so manly that he didnt was to touch this little guy. Wwell with my grade on the line i of course pinned him down. he was dead of course. Well the lovly and well crafted pin bent and well mr caterpilar still had an effect on me. This time my ody sweeled to 3 times its size and i could not touch anything anywhere on my body. It was so painful. Well this went on for the rest of the year. I was schooling myself with what the teachers had given me. The ppain had not lessened and the doctor said i was making the pain up in my head to ghet out of school. Very emotional damaging. 10 grade i was home schooled by a teacher. I was diagnoseed with fibromyalsia the next month. I was toldthat the pain would be there the rest of my life and to live normaly. ya right if you could imagine, the pin was 10 time worse of a charlie horse in your leg and it was all over my body. I ahve be dealing with this for nearly 2 year and the pain wont stop. i have sunk into a deep depression and i can not go to regular school i also cant handle crowds of people. My family has constanly told me to get over it and i just can not. Can anything help me ? I have tried evrying to exercising which made to pain worse to massages which was a rip off.My weight is up ti 220 and i cant lose it. i am not supported, i get no attention and i am cnstantly berated by family friens and neighbors. My pap is very sick in the hospital and i am afraid i might lose him. Today i wanted to go see him and my mom was to busy with my sister and then she was to sick to go but she was well enoght to sit on the computer all day and talk on the phone.
I know she has a hard life but sometimes she acts like all my illnesses are hes and wants pity. Tomorrow i lose my computer because i did not exercise today or do my chores Well my sister has non and has no exercise and no cerfuw she gets away with anything she wants. I am in 11th grade and i feel i have no reason to live. If someone can gie suggestions other than get over it i would be greatful. Also my email is ** Sorry for all the typos.
shannon
**edited by moderator**
When i was 3 three my sister was born. She was 3 months early. She survived but now is afflicted with cerebal palsy. I lived a normal life or as normal as it could be as a sibling of a ceral palsy victim. As you would imagine my sister needed constant care so i did not get much attention and i was fine until i realized it would be liked this the rest of my life. In second grade i ould scream and cry because i had to go to school and my sister got to stay home with my mom. I later learned that i had separation anxiety. I dealt with it. When i got my period in 5th grade(10 years old) i thought i was sick. She told me everything and well i dealt with the insane cramps and heavy flow that she passed on to me. I would gush out blood clots the size of baseballs. I was told that during my bleeding times i was going to be very sick and was anemic. I delth with that as did my mom. In 7th grade i had 2 periods in a month and then they stopped. I then gained about 30 pounds. My first thought was that i was pregnant althought i had never had sex. I just kept thinking about the bible and mary. HAHA. I went to my pcp and he said it was nothing. Ya like a man nows anything. So i went to one of those oh so not painful women doctors that again was a man. He looked at me and bear in mind that i was 11 or 12 i was tramatized. This went on for about a year and i had gained about 35 more pounds by now. This was quite depressing because the week before the double perird i weighed 115. So sad. When to shorted the waiting, i went to an endocronligist.She tested me and to make this short found out that Adrenal Hyperplasia. It is a very rare disease and there is no cure. So i delt with it. I have to take steroids everyday which doesn't make lose the weight but makes me gain. Well Before this was diagnosed i had terrible stomach pains and could not handle any stress. This was brought on my sister having to go to the hospital for 10 weeks. And guees who stayed with her? MY MOM. I had to stay with other family members and was not allowed to stay home alone. So i began to get very tired so i went to the doctos again about a year later and well i happen to have hashimoto's thyroiditis. That is a prestage of hypothyroidism. She then said she will moniter it but you know that never happen and i contiued to feel worse and worse. On one of those "monitering" visits she says that i have been having stomach pains is because i have polycystic ovary syndrom which means that i get very painful cyst on my ovaries. Nothing i could do about that. She then tells me that i am in ovarian failure. Which means my ovaries are not working at all. Everything else i could handle but not this. It meant that i couldn't have kids and hat was the one thing i have always wanted to do. Everyone kepps saying look on the bright side ant there is alway adoption. Its not the same to me.
I wanted to experience everything from the morning sickness to the baby kicking it little feet. I am only sixteen but i went o see if i could et my sister's egg inseminated and inserted into me and since my ovaries do not work, that is impossible. The explained to me that my body in a sence had gone through menopause. I was crushed a second time. I want to make it clear that if i was able to have kids i was going to wait until i was in my 20's.
Anyways somehow i coped with my loss. In 9th garde i was involved in a biology project and was partnered with my friend erik who has had a crush on me since 8th grade. Anyways, the project we were to colect bugs and classify them. I was walking up a slippery muddy hill and fell. I caught myself on a branch and something smashed in my hand. Within the next hour, my whole hnad was swollen and was very painful. I was having chest pains and was short of breath. The nurse refused to send me home until i grabbed her shirt and took the phones acess code from it. I called my mom and she rushed me to the hospital.
I waited 3 hour for someone to come in. The doctor who was a man said that nothing happened and that a caterpillar could not do such a thing.
(my biology teacher helped classify the squished remains) He sent me home and my whole body swelled. I was back in school within a week. I was very upset to see nothing was done on the project but what i had done. So i handed another on of those little white caterpillars to erik. He was so manly that he didnt was to touch this little guy. Wwell with my grade on the line i of course pinned him down. he was dead of course. Well the lovly and well crafted pin bent and well mr caterpilar still had an effect on me. This time my ody sweeled to 3 times its size and i could not touch anything anywhere on my body. It was so painful. Well this went on for the rest of the year. I was schooling myself with what the teachers had given me. The ppain had not lessened and the doctor said i was making the pain up in my head to ghet out of school. Very emotional damaging. 10 grade i was home schooled by a teacher. I was diagnoseed with fibromyalsia the next month. I was toldthat the pain would be there the rest of my life and to live normaly. ya right if you could imagine, the pin was 10 time worse of a charlie horse in your leg and it was all over my body. I ahve be dealing with this for nearly 2 year and the pain wont stop. i have sunk into a deep depression and i can not go to regular school i also cant handle crowds of people. My family has constanly told me to get over it and i just can not. Can anything help me ? I have tried evrying to exercising which made to pain worse to massages which was a rip off.My weight is up ti 220 and i cant lose it. i am not supported, i get no attention and i am cnstantly berated by family friens and neighbors. My pap is very sick in the hospital and i am afraid i might lose him. Today i wanted to go see him and my mom was to busy with my sister and then she was to sick to go but she was well enoght to sit on the computer all day and talk on the phone.
I know she has a hard life but sometimes she acts like all my illnesses are hes and wants pity. Tomorrow i lose my computer because i did not exercise today or do my chores Well my sister has non and has no exercise and no cerfuw she gets away with anything she wants. I am in 11th grade and i feel i have no reason to live. If someone can gie suggestions other than get over it i would be greatful. Also my email is ** Sorry for all the typos.
shannon
**edited by moderator**
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