PAINFUL TIGHT sex after menopause...

Yes i had the similar syptoms for some time time, the urethra is more prominent and easily inflamed, gynaecologist said to use Ovestrin cream and even a steroid for a while, then just the ovestin a couple of times a week when things get better. I have had a few surgerical stitch ups after childbirth and the scars get less elastic as atrophy sets in post menopause so lube is essential but a mild homone estrogen cream does help. Things are a bit easier with this regime, also aware of the old saying about " using it" but thats of no help if all too painful. It is a real problem, and a common one.

After menopause your vagina and uterus will atrophy due to a decrease in estrogen. There will also be less mucosal secretions. This is the most likely cause.

I have had this same problem for over five years. Man, I am so tired of it. But for all of the women who expressed frustration and helpless feelings on this forum, please take heart. This is not something that we should just let happen without a fight. Our bodies have served us well for years, and we have endured the pain of periods, some of us experienced childbirth and menopause itself. So have faith that your body can deal with this too! I happened to come across this article which offers some answers for the problem of painful post menopause sex. Give it a go. Why not? We have to try! I love my husband and want some of those good sex times back. http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Womens_Health_Watch/2012/May/when-sex-gives-more-pain-than-pleasure?utm_source=womens&utm_medium=pressrelease&utm_campaign=womens0512

I have been married 31 years. Everything good at 47 but started hurting at 48 which is when I started menopause. Went to the dr. And was told I wasn't as young as I used to be. I had all of my 6 biological children c-section and wondered if it was worse for me because I had never been stretched out from giving birth vaginally. Sounds like not the case. I don't really want to take hormones and it sounds like they don't help anyway. I wish I had some answers. I would like to go back a few years when it didn't hurt. I would like any helpful ideas that would fix this problem.

tried hormone creams - even numbing creme, but no go - so next step is now Botox...believe it or not. It has been used before successfully - so i will try that...and will let you guys know how it went! i told doc that left over Botox he could use on my face...lol

I believe Vagifem is a hormone and I personally cant take hormones as I had breast cancer, is there nothing natural that can help any of us on here. Its a horrible experience.

If anyone finds a solution to this sore vagina problem, let me know.  When my period stopped, it was like when his penis went in just a couple inches it hurt like hell and its been that way for a year now.  It seems to be a common problem.  Nobody knows what its called?? I have looked and not found.  I always had a good sex life and still do (almost) He is patiently waiting to be able to insert again soon, so far its not happening  I'm starting to feel inadequate.  I would rather hear from one of you people about a solution cause I dont trust the Medical Association, their integrity has gone down the drain.  They want everyone on meds.  Its all about money, not wellness

I've had the same problem, bleeding and very painful intercourse and after some web searching I found an article that suggested putting vitamin E on the sore area. I tried it and it worked. I just took a vitamine E gel pill and broke it open and spread it on the area. The article said to do this 3 times a week (i did it every day).  within in a week it was much better. Hope this helps someone.

I had exactly the same problem. I would go to bed with discomfort and wake up with discomfort. Sex really was impossible. Oestrogen creams, lubricant etc made no difference. I have washed with unscented sorbolene soap (must be unscented) for years so I started washing my knickers with the same instead of detergent and I have been pain free since. Try this ladies and post your result (which you should notice within a week) Good luck :-)

Searched for tips and found this advice: "In addition to aging, one common cause of menopausal vaginal dryness and vaginal burning during sex is not having enough sex.  When sex after menopause is difficult making it almost impossible for a man to insert his penis in, vaginal dilators could help.

Vaginal dilators are tampon-shaped devices that a woman can insert into their intimate area for several minutes to stretch the tissues and keep them pliable.  They come in sets that range in size from small (from three quarter inch in diameter to about the size of a fully-erect penis).  You start with the smallest and gradually work your way to the larger sizes.  Be patient as it can take weeks or even months to get to the larger sizes.

You can get your doctor to recommend and explain the proper techniques to a use a dilator or you can purchase it online and do the treatment in the privacy of your home... don’t have the misconception that menopause vaginal dryness is a sign that you are no longer sexually excited or attractive. Or think that sex after 50 is inappropriate.  With a little stimulation, imagination and a little help fromloose vagina remedies, sex after menopause can still be gratifying."

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  Good luck w/ him!!!

I'm a dancer (or used to be), so I can feel my interior muscles well.  The same thing's just started to happen to me.  It feels like the uterus is shrinking back down to a pre-puberty size and pulling other things down with it.  If I walk on my toes (esp. with my hands in the air), it relieves the cramp (and the after cramp pain in the following 24 hours).  I'm about to restart all the backward stretches that I haven't concentrated on in years - yoga bridges, + cobra (with feet up) - anything to stretch the INSIDE of me.  Also, there seems to be a forward pulling as well, so I'll start running, swimming and 'planking', to increase core muscle strength.  Most of my pain feels like contractions during childbirth (and not those easy ones at the beginning either), with the pain centred at the top of the uterus, so it's not the same as what most of you are describing.    A lot of you seem to be describing the interior clitoris that has only just been discovered.  Maybe that simple period-pain over-the-counter medication would help!  Good luck to us all and STAY FIT or GET FIT!!

I am astonished to discover that it isn't just me. After menopause about 18 months ago, sex with my husband became excutiatingly painful. Not only initial entry, but once we finally got there, thrusting nearly sent me through the roof! The pain was indescribable except to say it felt as though I was literally on fire. Eventually I lost complete interest and sex was a thing of the past. It was frustrating to us both because there was no sex, no intimacy and eventually no affection. We just existed together.

My doctor encouraged us to use a water-based lubricant and stay sexually active in ways that didn't involve penetration. We tried the water base, but it wasn't helpful. Interruption to reapply is a frustration on it's own. We found that we could use pure vegetable oil and we find it is longer lasting than water based lubricants. Veg oil is a tad messy but worth the effort. Just pop down a soft fluffy towel. We also focused on external stimulation. If you don't masturbate, you must start! If you don't have a vibrator, consider buying one. You can do this discreetly on line. Women usually require far more stimulation after menopause, and a vibrator really helped us. The best part was that we could both use it while we were waiting for the muscles and the walls inside my vagina to 'get used to' the idea that we would soon be introducing penetration from other than a vibrator.

Allow a lot of time to really relax and enjoy yourselves. My husband and I found that arousal is much slower for us as we got older but it is well worth the time it takes to get there. Patience can be fun too. I think it's essential to keep your vagina in practice, no pun intended, otherwise you will continue to avoid sex because it's too painful and pain is what you're trying to eliminate. The thing is to go slowly and be very gentle but have regular sex. I've found with patience and time, the worst of the pain is over and I am now looking forward to making love again and enjoying the absolute closeness of my husband. I also believe that my pain was caused because of diminishing sex. That little saying, 'Use it or Lose it' rang true for me. There are so many excellent ways of rediscovering each other's bodies and it doesn't have to be all about intercourse until you're absolutely ready to receive. I hope this helps.

Has anyone tried the LAVA laser surgery? It is expensive but sounds like not long recovery period and rave reviews.

I found Vagifem helped at first
However nothing works now

Hi there

 

Had this problem...impossible to have sex for 2 years - before i found a doctor that actually cared!! I got a strong steroid creme (Dermoval 0,05% it is called here.) The condition doc said was called Lichen Scleroses.

http://www.niams.nih.gov/health_info/Lichen_Sclerosus/default.asp

Creme helped....used it for a few weeks - and tested the waters - can have sex now - still a bit sore to begin with, but then it gets better - so there IS hope! Also was told to use baby oil - NOT soap - to clean with - and use white vaciline morning and night to soften the skin. The steroid creme i am to use twice a week at night....

So - simple help for a problem that seems to be more common than i realized. All doctors said use lube, but that was not my problem - dryness - it was pain.