PAINFUL TIGHT sex after menopause...

using the hormone cream but not working-not sure what to do now-my nurse says not another solution at the moment-what next- would welcome any helpful information

I use Compounded Bio-Identical Hormone Creams AKA: Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).

Triest 5 MG/GM Cream (Estrogen) apply to inner arm from wrist to elbow but can go as high as armpit. Apply daily to each arm.

Progesterone 200 MG/GM Cream apply same as Triest

Testosterone 2% (20 MG/G) Cream apply to the clitoris, labia or inner thigh

Apply where skin is thin for best absorption.

Absorb the hormones through the skin instead of via a pill that is swallowed.

 

Drawbacks:

(1) Hard to remember to apply a daily cream. I set a calendar alarm in my cell phone to remind me otherwise I forget.

(2) Dries as a white film on the skin which rubs off on clothing and is noticeable. Must apply to time with showers so as to not wash it off too quickly and wash it off so it does not get on clothing and leave white marks on clothing. I apply at night and shower in the morning. This schedule works well.

(3) Expensive - lab fees for hormone testing, doctor office visits, compounding, shipping, etc. It is pricy.

(4) Not covered by insurance - out of pocket cost

(5) Hard to find a Compounding Pharmacy. Few around.

 

***Post is edited by moderator *** Private phone numbers not allowed*** Please read our Terms of Use

Wow I didnt realize how many other women went through the same pain as me... I tried a lot of different things. I ended up needing to to a place that specializes in it. Google "painful intercourse" and see if there are any places near you that treat it. I was fortunate that I live in NY where there's good treatment here..do your research!!

A little more research reveals that what we are experiencing is completely normal and the medical profession does have a cure for painful sex.

But if you're not into discussing painful sex with your doctor, try your local pharmacy and purchase over the counter, water-based lubricants such as KY jelly, Sylk or Astroglide. I am trying the Sylk and will let you know how it goes.

If sex has been painful for a while it is suggested that Replens MD is another solution. This lasts up to 3 days but if you're alergic to glycerine there are non-glycerine products available such as Aqualube and Hydrasmooth. They have such great names and they are recommended to work. Another possible solution to eliviate painful sex and dryness is to insert a vitamin E capsule into your vagina. No need to break the capsule as the PH in your body will do that, but think of the fun you'll have if you share the procedure. It may even become a foreplay routine with your partner.

A quick word on Vaseline. Do not use it. It is petroleum based and it provides a pretty snug and comfy home for bacteria to grow. Just a warning. Good old Vaseline is used on the underside of car chassis to inhibit rust! It also weakens the latex in condoms.

Your doctor can prescribe a vaginal oestrogen cream which can reverse the thinning of the vaginal tissues.

If you don't have any libido, you might want to mention to your doctor that trying some type of testosterone therapy could give your sexual drive a bit of a kick in the pants. There are side affects to this however.

The last suggestion I have is to talk to your husband or partner about the difficulties you're experiencing. He may have the exact solution you're both looking for. The thing is, patience is paramount. Your intention is to have naturally satisfying, non-painful sex - intend it and set a course for a long foreplay with one of or all of the above ingredients. It's well worth a try if you want to return to the paradise that brought you to the summit of the mountain; Orgasm is what you're both after and sharing it will delight your partner no end.

Vaginismus -- painful sex, painful penetration -- can occur at any age. There are licensed physical therapists who specialize in treating this disorder. Your doctor will have to write a prescription for your insurance to pay for it. Ask your doctor. If he/she is clueless, find another dr who knows about this disorder and can work with both you and the physical therapist. I overcame this through physicsl therapy after suffering for many wasted years. Don't delay.

I just was given the word this past December that my numbers put me in peri menopause. Kind of thought so, as I was having tremendous hot flashes. Have also been having issues with lots of yeast infections. So when I finally got healthy, the time or two that my husband and I had sex it was very upsetting to find it excruciatingly painful. I too found what I call "the bump" on the center of my front vaginal wall. This seems to be the source, for me, of the pain. Off to the doctor tomorrow. The nurse said she had never heard of it, so wondering if there are those of us out here reporting them, where is the medical community on this?

I can't believe there are so many of us????  I have seen the doctor, had an ultra sound scan (think that's what it is called), creams, hospital referral, hormone cream, etc.. etc...

I have now been given Betamethasone cream, have no idea what this is supposed to do.  Last visit to the hospital this week the consultant mentioned next option was a little 'snip'.  I am sure that this is not necessary.

Does anyone else think things have changed down there though?? I can completely agree with the writer who has a 'bump' at the front of her vagina, and also the other writer who mentioned the tightness around the vulva.

When I do have intercourse, initial penetration, like the rest of you, is excruitiating.  It's almost as if the entry point has moved somewhat. lol.  After intercourse when I urinate the burning pain is enough to make me  sccrreeeaamm..

There has to be something.  I am thinking of copying all these posts and taking them to my consultant in a months time.  Surely there must be someone who would like to do some research into this??

 

 

 

 

I guess the best thing about finding this site is discovering how common this problem is. But, it's also very discouraging that there are apparently no doctors who have a solution. I've used hormone creams and lubricants, and neither of those seem to help. I'm 61 and I swear this is getting worse. My husband and I don't have sex as often (I think we're averaging once a month now, used to be once a week.) The only thing that gives me hope is I'm pretty good at doing my research and eventually finding some kind of help. Just as an aside, I was on medication for years for overactive bladder. Someone finally suggested a physical therapist who specializes in that problem and it's made a HUGE difference. Yes, I have to do Kegels twice a day, but no meds and lots less problems with leakage!

But back to painful penetration. The pain I have is actually towards the back. It just feels like that skin has no stretch and all the lubricants in the world don't help. Once we get past that point, things seem to get better and maybe (I don't know) it helps that I also use a vibrator. That definitely gets the blood flowing and soon I'm not having any pain at all. At first I was kind of embarrassed about it, but my husband doesn't mind at all. In fact, he's the one who bought them (yes I have several) for me. 

Meanwhile, I might have another suggestion (haven't tried it yet myself). I live near Madison, Wisconsin, and we have a wonderful store called "A Woman's Touch." You can find them online. I believe it is owned and operated by a couple of RNs and you can even email to ask questions. In fact, this is where I got the information on seeing a PT for overactive bladder. Anyway, they have quite a bit of information on painful penetration and vaginal dryness, including "exercises" you can do yourself. One of them involves massaging the vaginal area. I'll let anyone who is interested go to their website to read up on the details. 

Don't be shocked or put off by some of the things you'll see on their website because they cater to all kinds of sexual tastes. They are extremely knowledgeable and probably not much embarrasses them. 

 

Hi All,
I have this problem, I love sex but for the last three years it has been agony. I cant do it. My hubby is very pissed off.
I understand but cant get around this. I am 51 and am not having any issues with dryness. Despite so many GP's saying that this is the cause. I am absolutely no way dry!!
This is a sharp pain, so painful. I smothered myself in lube just to prove 100% that this has nothing to do with it and sure enough, the pain was still there, as sharp as it ever was. So I paid private health and got a laperoscopy (camera inside - under general anasthetic) I had to knocked right out as an internal was agony. The camera was put up my vag and also through an incision in my belly button. So a good look around. The surgeon said he couldnt see anything wrong! - I was amazed! He said all he can do is prescribe Vagifem which is like a applicator tampon but very slim and you push the end and it deposits a small tablet inside your vag. You do this twice a week. They are 10mg of estradiol (basically an oestrogen) I didnt want to have to take hormones as my mum had two thrombosis. But I have to try something. I have been taking for 3 months now and have been scared to try much but the last time was definately easier. It was still a little painful but was doable and the enjoyment was able to take over the pain. I hope as time goes on it will get even better.

After seeing the doctor for the "bump" he said it was my cervix. Flabbergasted how that dropped down there, my husband very sweetly helped me check out every thing else inside. It is only the bump that is excruciating. So I am scheduled for a voluntary hysterectomy (uterus only), that my doctor still feels is radical. He wanted the Vagifem to work. I was in tears the first day, but having any sex life is worth not having any, even if it means taking my prolapsed uterus and cervix out. With how many of us on here, I would think there would be more doctors finding answers, at least if your pain is just the bump. Check and see if it is your cervix.

Back again after seeing the consultant for the third time and she suggested it may be something called lychen sclerosis so I am waiting to have a small biopsy done in a few months to check out her theory. Still amazed at how many of us women of a certain age are experiencing all the same symptoms though.

I'm not a fan of homonal replacement, but I got to a stage where if I didn't 'perform' I'd lose my marriage. We began by discussing truthfully what it felt like to be penetrated when we made love. The pain was beyond excruciating, it was making me deirious. I just wanted my husband to come quickly and get out of me. I told him the truth. He wanted me to feel the pleasure of making love the way we used to. I couldn't. No way was I going to put myself through the pain I had to endure just so as he could be satisfied. I'm being brutally truthful here. Our remedy ~ after month after month after month of sleeping apart in separate rooms, him telling me not to wear anything that 'teased' him, I got furious, then depressed, then furious again and then I asked him to explore our sex with toys. He wasn't impressed. Okay, no sex on any level! I maintained I cannot allow you to penetrate me. The pain is unbelievable. How do you think I feel? I cannot climax. I cannot enjoy it. I don't even want to be with you if you're going to continue with this attitude. We tried a toy. I introduced it to my husband and he happily climbed the mountain and drifted over the top down the side in ecstacy. Now it was my turn. The result ~ after a while, with patience and understanding, a little Sylk lube, we've been able to venture further. It takes time. It doesn't happen immediately. It takes patience. It takes a little work from you to stretch the inner walls of your vagina and it takes a whole lot of attitude, thoughts of yes, I want this, yes I want to experience pleasure from my man and yes, I am a woman who deserves to feel. I took it upon myself to use the toy to stimulate and stretch the way to heaven for my husband. Spent heaps on Sylk but it was an investment that is paying off. The recipe should be followed closely by two who respect and understand each other. The side affects ? Fun, laughter, a lot of kissing and a damn side less lack of self. You'll share and explore and love and understand and laugh and then ... ahh the climax that you've been waiting for right where the g spot begins. Time it took? Time is an illusion!

I think everyone is a bit leery of HRT at this point, but I've had two doctors tell me they didn't have a problem with vaginal estrogen cream or tablets. I got tired of the messiness of the cream so I've switched to Vagifem tablets and I've been using them 3 times a week, but lately penetration has become quite uncomfortable.

I just saw my doctor about this and asked if it was possible for me to up the dosage for a short period of time. It seems to me that I complained about feeling too dry last year and I know I was told to use the estrogen every night for two weeks. That also seemed to make sex more comfortable. Of course, over time (and maybe as I'm aging) I'm having a problem again. So, now I'm doing the Vagifem every night for 2 weeks and then I'll go back to 3 times a week. The one week marker is coming up so as of yet I don't know if this will do the trick.

Meanwhile, I've tried doing the vaginal massage and using the vibrator. I only did it for 3 days in a row and by day number 3 I was a bit more comfortable, although that didn't include intercourse with my husband. I saw the doctor and started using the additional dosage of estrogen so I temporarily quit the massage, but I'm going to try again this coming week to see if there's any difference.

I'm going to be honest in adding that I would be very unhappy if my husband were to give me an ultimatum. We've been married 26 years and I sure wouldn't do that to him if he suddenly couldn't get an erection. Disappointing, you bet. But, we're in this together and while being able to have sex is still important, having problems with it sure isn't going to keep us from having a happy marriage. ;-)

I am experiencing this also.  From what I have read it is atrophy of the muscles in the vagina.  It makes the opening smaller.  I have heard about the Vagifelm also and have heard it really helps.  I currently do not have ins.  so have not been able to try it.  Good luck ladies

 

I had the same problem when I started menopause.  Intercourse was incredibly painful.  My husband was very understanding, but neither of us wanted to give up sex.  We switched to oral sex and it all worked out well for both of us.  We still have sex regularly and both of us are satisfied.  There has been no penetration for ten years, and no pain either.  Maybe that solution doesn't work for everyone, but it sure worked out well for us.