Researchers found that women pay more attention to a man's looks and outlook on life rather than on length and girth. Their studies also showed that men had a better body image and increased sexual confidence if they had a large penis.
Twelve studies that measured penises of 11,531 men showed that the average erect penis ranged from 14 to 16cms (5.5 to 6.2in) in length and 12 to 13cm (4.7 to 5.1in) in girth.
Besides the average penile size, the researchers established differenced between male and female way of thinking. A study that included 50,000 heterosexual men and women found that 66% of men felt their penis was average sized, 22% that it was large and 12% reported being small and that while 85% of women were satisfied with their partner's penile size, only 55% of men felt it was big enough.
The "small penis syndrome" was found to be common among men with normal-sized penises than in men with really small ones. Sixty-three percent of men blamed their childhood comparisons with friends while 37% blamed viewing erotic images as teenagers.
Penis-lengthening tools, such as vacuum devices as well as the surgery, were found to have little benefits for the actual size but that they worked psychologically from some men.
Researchers fear that worries about the penile size could contribute to anxieties and that the problem should be assessed by providing much accurate information as possible and short-term structured psychotherapies that have proven successful.
There is very little documented evidence to support the use of penile extenders. Some surgical techniques are said to have been successful but there is no data on patients' satisfaction with such procedures
I have a pretty big one myself and I can assure you that it matters.
What the study doesn't tell us is:
What percentage of women who say it doesn't matter have had only one partner and therefore can't compare?
What percentage of women who say it doesn't matter never had a man with a big penis (8 or 9 inches) and therefore can't compare?
What percentage of women who say it doesn't matter don't necessarily enjoy sex that much?
I can assure you that it does matter. I've heard it many times from women who suddenly realized what they had been missing out on all those years.
Sorry peeps, it's true.
Did you ever wonder why those dildos are that big? Look no further.
It rather depends on what you mean by "matters". I think it is possible to draw a distinction between whether penis size matters -- that is to say, whether it is important in the context of a long-term relationship -- and whether it makes a difference. I suspect that in a typical woman's unconscious "shopping list" of characteristics that she is seeking in a life partner and potential father of her children, having a big penis does not rank highly, if at all. More likely she is concerned with whether he is honest, decent, kind and affectionate, and yes, physically attractive to her in respects other than the size of his sexual organ. We are all of us, men and women, greater than the sum of our parts. From a male perspective, a man might find large breasts especially attractive; and yet he may meet and fall in love with a woman with small breasts, because her character, personality and other aspects of her physical appearance combine to outweigh his preference for big boobs, and so their size, in her case, assumes less importance to him. It's the total package that counts.
In that sense, I think there is truth in the common view that to women, size does not matter (perhaps with the qualifier: as long as it is not too small). But as to whether penis size makes a difference to their experience of sex, I am convinced that it does. Whether bigger is better or worse is an individual and qualitative judgment, but it is certainly different. My own experience -- or more accurately, that of the women with whom I have had sex -- can speak to that.
The Guest poster above asked, "What percentage of women who say it doesn't matter never had a man with a big penis (8 or 9 inches) and therefore can't compare?" Setting aside use of the word "matter", the essence of his question is good. Big penises are rare, so it follows that women who have experience of a big penis are also rare; and those with no experience are not in a position to judge whether big is preferable. Perhaps then I can contribute some observations based on real experience.
Let's start with some context. I have reviewed the results of many of the surveys of penis size which helene describes in the original post. It seems plain to me that some of these are more reliable than others. Some are based on self-measured and self-reported data from the participants in the study, immediately making them more questionable than those where measurements are made by a second party according to a consistent method defined by the survey principals. Unfortunately some of the largest surveys, including Kinsey and the online www.sizesurvey.com, fall victim to the self-measurement method, and as a result I suspect that some of the most quoted data overestimates the average size of the male organ. (Researchers accept that even in anonymous surveys, many men simply cannot help exaggerating the size of their penises. Many researchers also think it likely that men who have reason to be confident that their penises are of average or greater than average size are more likely to volunteer for such studies than men who believe their penises to be smaller than average, thus the survey sample may not be truly representative of the population as a whole.) The Kinsey study reported a mean (i.e. average) erect length of 6.21 inches, with a standard deviation of 0.77 inch. Later but smaller studies that did not rely on self-measurement reported shorter mean lengths and smaller standard deviations. The Kinsey Institute itself states on its web site that "more recent data (not yet published) indicates an average erect penis length is between 5 to 6 inches". Presumably these more recent data were collected in a more controlled fashion.
However there are certain important, common patterns that emerge across these studies, one being that erect penis length and girth both appear broadly to follow a Normal distribution: a probability distribution that models many quantities in nature, including other human characteristics such as height. Even if we accept that the original Kinsey data are reliable rather than inflated, by comparing my penis size with the distributions obtained by Kinsey, I can make a valid inference that fewer than 0.15% of men (15 in 10,000) have an erect penis that is as large or larger than mine, in length or girth. I think that allows me to speak with some authority.
I am confident from my own observations that any woman who has experience of sex with a man with a significantly larger than average penis will agree that the experience is different. Some, on seeing a large penis, are repelled by it. Some may feel anxious at the prospect of being penetrated by it. These are real reactions which I have encountered personally. But other women will find a large penis appealing and attractive. Some women, whatever they think of its appearance, will find it uncomfortable or perhaps even painful to have sex with a large penis.(*) Other women will have no such difficulties and will find the experience different from, but at least as pleasurable as with, an average penis -- and in many cases, more pleasurable.
A woman who has found that a large penis is to her liking may then add that attribute to her preferences in men. More than a decade ago, I entered into a relationship with a girl -- let's call her C -- to whom I had been introduced by a mutual female friend. C had recently returned home after a stay of almost two years in Italy. What I did not know about C when we first met, but which she told me in due course, was that during her time abroad she had been involved with a man who had a very large penis. She had never seen an organ anywhere near its size before. She described to me the key things she found that she liked about it.
First, she said, were the visual stimulus and the response it evoked in her. Simply seeing his big penis, and particularly watching it grow from flaccid to full erection, aroused and excited her. The sight could almost instantly produce in her a desire to have sex, where no such thing had been on her mind immediately beforehand. It caused her vagina to become wet and hastened her readiness for penetration in a way that other penises had not.
Second was the tactile pleasure. She found handling and playing with his penis, especially in the erect state, to be more gratifying than with any other she had previously known.
Third was the sensation she experienced during intercourse. Women are often surprised at the length of penis which their vaginas can accommodate, as was C. When a woman is sufficiently excited (and it usually takes longer to attain this state than it does for her to become merely wet), her vagina undergoes a process commonly known as "tenting" in which the inner two-thirds increases in length and width. The posterior fornix, a recess beyond and behind the cervix, expands as part of this process, producing a cavity into which the head of a long penis can reach. Many women, and C found herself to be among them, derive enjoyment from the deep penetration and stimulation of the fornix that a long penis can offer. C described this as an entirely new and different sensation. At the same time, the significantly greater girth of her lover's erection stretched her vagina to a degree she had never known before and resulted in a very tight fit. The combination of this width-wise stretching and deep penetration gave her a feeling of being completely "filled up", which she found intensely satisfying.
Fourth was what C described as versatility and "reach". Where the man has a long penis, a couple can enjoy sex in a number of positions which would be unsatisfactory, difficult to sustain or downright impossible if the man's penis were of average or small size. As she put it, imagine a position whereby, due to the "reach" required of the penis to achieve it, a man with a six inch penis could get only the first two inches inside his partner: in the same position, a man with a nine inch penis could get five inches inside. This would allow longer and easier strokes, and likely be more pleasurable for both parties.
When she returned from Italy, she talked with our mutual friend about her experiences, and how it would be nice to meet another man with equipment similar to that of her Italian lover -- though she never expected to again. It was just an extraordinary coincidence that she was talking to someone who knows a man who is similarly equipped. And so our friend introduced us. I had no idea about our friend's motivation for bringing us together, but I found C attractive and likable, and we began dating just like any other regular couple who met in ordinary circumstances. It was after the first time we had sex, during which she made it abundantly plain that the size of my penis was a source of particular pleasure for her, that she told me her Italian history. Interestingly, my knowing that she enjoyed and appreciated my penis made her all the more attractive and having sex with her all the more exciting, to me.
C told me that if she had never met another man with a large penis, it would not have been a tragedy -- it is ridiculous to think that men with big penises "spoil" women for other men. It was simply something she had experienced and liked, and if at all possible, would like to have experienced again. But that is not all there is to a relationship and after about two years together, we broke up. However we had formed a very close and lasting friendship. I have a deep affection for C, and we still see each other often and talk almost every day. She had a number of boyfriends after me, and has settled down with a man she has been with for several years, and whose penis she discussed in quite some detail with me. She has carried her preference with her over the years, perhaps evidenced by her having found a man with more than the average, but not greatly outside the typical range: a little over seven inches long and about five-and-three-quarter inches in girth. Somewhat smaller than both me and her Italian in both dimensions, but she is very happy.
The things that C told me she liked about large penises have often been repeated to me by other women who have liked mine; in particular, the feeling of being "filled up" that it brings is a common commendation. My current partner's liking for my penis is as enthusiastic as was C's, and she echoes her sentiments about its visual effect, saying, "It makes me turned on just looking at it".
At the same time, I have known enough women who did not share their passion, who would have liked my penis to have been smaller, and for whom those self-same characteristics that some enjoyed were to them a source of distress -- they derived no pleasure from stimulation of the fornix by deep penetration, or found stretching of their vaginas by such a wide penis disagreeable. So even amongst those who have been in a position to make a judgment, a preference for big penises is not universal amongst women.
To men who are worried that perhaps women like bigger penises: don't be. If your erection is between 4.7 and 6.3 inches long and between 4.3 and 5.1 inches in girth, then it is in the same range as the great majority of men. And because most men are in that size range, most women have not experienced anything outside that size range, so they have no point of comparison -- they simply cannot know if a big penis would be "better" for them. Your average size penis should be just fine. Enjoy it.
* This can be due to the length of the penis being such that the head reaches exactly to the cervix, and bangs against it during intercourse; or if the penis is longer but the erection is not fully hard, it will conform to the shape and direction of the vagina and be impeded by its tightness, with the same effect that the head bangs against the cervix. By contrast, a similarly long erection that is strong and hard can slide past the cervix into the posterior fornix at the back of the vagina.
Also, girth is more important than length, if a woman had to choose between the two, and could not have both. Ideally though, the penis would be long enough to push her limits in depth, without being painful, and very thick.
About length, the depth of the vagina is 6" on average according to many studies. That is the maximum aroused and stretched depth, including when tented. Now, what happens is that some penile length is lost between the two bodies. More so in some positions than in others. Also, most penises are not rock hard, and even the ones that are do bend somewhat. So, some penises that are longer actually squish down slightly, and that is how some 7" penises fit into a 6" vagina.
Further, some women to have deeper vaginas, but they are less common. I've played with rigid dildos with at least 5 women. One who even accomodated my fist in her vagina, and none of them were able to hide more than 7" of a rigid dildo from daylight, even when fully aroused and tented.
I have seen a couple of larger framed women in amateur videos, with larger pelvises (not more body fat, per se), that were able to stuff 9" to 10" of large dildos into their vaginas. These women represent a very tiny portion of the female population. These women were able to do this not just because they practiced often with big dildos, but becuase they had deeper pelvic cavities that allowed the posterior fornix of the vagina to stretch fruther. The average woman's pelvic cavity, measured by the diagonal conjugate, is only 12 cm deep. Add the muscles, fat, and flesh of the vulva, and that is why the majority of women have a max depth of 6" to 6.5".
I'd say that half of all women could be impressed by larger penises to some extent. Some of those same women have an appreciation for more pressure and fullness. Still, when looking at the big picture, they don't place penis size in the top 5 factors for settling with a life partner. I wouldn't be suprised if it fell into the top 10 or 15 though.
I like women with large labia minora and athletic builds, but I can't place those qualities high on my list of must haves, because having a life partner with similar beliefs (actually a lack of belief :-S ) and values is more important to me. You can bet your bottom dollar that I would be impressed and find an athletic build a notable reason to stay with a woman after I formed a relationship with her, if she had the same values as me.
Physical triats like fitness and penis size are usually valued after being with someone, in my opinion.
Oh, and my girlfriend is polyamorous. I have really good reason to believe that her other boyfriend (she has a husband too), has a very thick penis based on some things that he has implied. I am sure that is something that she values about him, when considering all of the things that she likes about him. Yet, it couldn't be his only good attribute, or she would not continue dating him. It is a very nice bonus that she appreciates about him, at the very least. As for myself, my penis is just slightly thicker than average.
I think people with small penis f**ks more, because they put way more effort, their pride rides on it. Look at the two Largest Population in the world.
that make sense bc all my life my partners have been over average except one-and he worked it so strong and hard and fast you couldnt tell he was small:HE SURE DIDNT ACT LIKE IT. my last boyfriend has a microshaft and from the beginning he tricked me to make himself seem bigger.i compromised a few times FOR HIM AND FOR US-NOT FOR ME.even tho i was going along with it still he was so messed up bc he is small he is unbearable.he cant even communicate without sliding somethign bout cheating in the conversation.as much as i care for him im also sick of him as my man and my lover.