Red, swollen, itchy, burning vagina after sex

I’m so stressed out trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I started seeing this guy and he has a very very very above way above average size but we’ve used a condom everytime and it would get dry really fast because it was painful unless I was on top. We had a lot of sex recently and I knew that my vulva was starting to be kind of inflamed and irritated. When I showered I used his stuff which is stupid because men’s body wash has a lot stronger perfumed chemicals in it which I used directly onto my vagina. Right after I got out we did it again and it burned. I told him it was burning so we used lube. That just made things worse but I didn’t realize till after I got home from being with him that weekend. My body felt like it was in shock because I hadn’t had sex for months before that and it was a lot to take in literally. I started feeling sore and I went to his game but I had to wait in line outside and it got really cold and I wasn’t wearing a jacket and I got a fever the next morning. After my fever kind of went away, I noticed a rash forming close to the vulva where the pubic hair grows (oh and I had gotten waxed literally a day before all of this happened). I didn’t realize that I shouldn’t be wearing tight fitting clothes and I continued to wear thongs and body suits out which made it worse. I don’t understand what is going on my vagina is so uncomfortable and I’m so irritated because I could’ve prevented everything by just thinking. Now I don’t know what to do because I feel like I should wait a couple weeks to go to the gyno and get it checked for accurate diagnosis and for now just stick to anti itch creams and probiotic pills and sitz baths until the inflammation, pain and swelling has gone down. but I’m really worried and thinking about all the times I’ve had unprotected sex with people who were probably not only hooking up with me and that this was my body’s final straw and I somehow infected myself after my vaginal opening has been rubbed raw with a dry condom. Very detailed I know, my bad lol I just need some sort of guidance or answer so I can chill out and not think I have vaginal cancer or herpes or something.

i'm a lesbian and every time i have sex with girlfriend her p***y itches i don't know whether im the cause of her itchiness

You have STD called Triichomoniasis it’s a STD that is easily treated , 95% of men don’t know they have it. Your symptoms are spot on for Trich.