My dad and I were really good buddies, we were like high school friends. He looks like my older brother in pictures. He is even bigger than I am, but he is very overweight and does not take care of himself very good anymore, age is taking it's toll you know? My wife used to joke around with me about my dad, like how I'm "going to look like him one day" so she is getting used to that fact. To make a long story short, she even says stuff once in a while about how my Grandpa is handsome.
She acts like a very family oriented person and seems to have traditional Mexican family values. She has a dark side to her though. Her mom was a prostitute in Mexico when she was a little girl, and was around many men, but never did anything with them. She tells me some messed up stories, and it hurts me sometimes, but it's my fault since I keep asking her questions about her past. When she came to the U.S. she was attracted to white men and the whole American culture. She told me a story about when she was 13 year old virgin and alone with the cable repair man in her apartment, the story still makes me sick to this day. She is very 'dirty' with me, she is very sexually passionate in bed and 'kinky'. I view her as a piece of meat sometimes since she upsets me so much with stupid little things but can't help it I guess, and makes up for her stupidity with sex. So it all works out in the end, sort of. I really don't know how much longer we will be married, but it will help her for citizenship reasons. We usually get along, and she is cool most the time. She wants a kid or 2 very, very bad. Like seriously bad. I'm worried she will get knocked up by some guy who looks like me or something and act like it's ours. Like somehow I gave her a child. She is not the sharpest tool in the shed. She did heavy drugs for a year or 2 when she was 15-16.
My dad had a hysterectomy also, after my brother was born i guess. My dad and I were very open about almost everything. I felt bad for my dad, he has had a hard life. I'm not going to talk about my mom. I got myself in real bad situation and feel like killing myself because it makes me so sick. None of us are religious, anymore anyways. I know what kind of a person I am now but don't judge me since you may have done the same thing in my situation. We are all animals right? I don't know what this website really is, but I can't work up the nerve to tell a psychologist or anybody this. I just don't know what to do now. I am sick everyday and will not let anyone know. It's hard to tell you this the way it happened but maybe it's good for me. Enough beating around the bush. I tricked my wife into having sex with my dad, until she gets pregnant.
I talked my wife into it before I told my dad. This was supposed to be a gift to my dad, but she never ever knew of that intention. I was a sick person. I talked to my dad about the 'plan', and how I needed him to act like he would absolutely refuse to that sperm bank or artificial insemination c**p. She was a 10 in me, and my dads 'book' and I'm sure he would have never even would have had a girl this attractive when he was my age or younger.
My wife and I talked about how it would work, how my dad was also traditional and would only impregnate a woman in a conventional way, he was 'old school'. My dad and I talked bout how it would work. I never let my wife and my dad talk about it. I don't my wife is not attracted to my dad so much that she would cheat on me with him. He is really not that good looking anymore. By the way, nobody I know will ever read this. The thing is, me and my wife talked about how the only thing we want is my dads 'seed' in her (even though I knew it was impossible).
It took a while to work it out with her and break the idea to her the right way, but she was O.k. with it, after her crying and talking sleepless nights about it. She eventually really wanted the end result very bad. She talked about how hard it would be for her to work herself up to do it, and didn't know what to expect when it was happening. We were both not in the right state of mind I think because she was thrilled of the chance of having kid(s) with my 'DNA', instead of adoption or other means. I told lied and told her how DNA works and how my dads is the same as mine and other stuff. I was turned on for some reason, at that time, and thought it was exciting in a way (she did not know that). We agreed that the only way it should be is quick and to the point, no sweet talk or kissing.
I knew what my dad liked in women, what turned him on. I used to look at his porn magazines as a kid. He liked latinas. In the week building up to the first day they were together we made sure it would work out as smooth as possible. We both wanted him to go quick in her. She was looking hotter than she was on our honeymoon. She got a really nice tan in the back yard, was working out really hard, body wax, all that foo foo stuff. She got those really long black eyelashes done and spent over $400 on lingerie.
She rubbed lotion in all over, put on her sweatpants and tang top, make-up and lipstick then left our house and drove over to my dads house, only a few minutes away. She was back in like 25 minutes, but sometimes it would be longer like 45 minutes or sometimes even shorter like 15 minutes. That is when the sickness and jealousy began to set in. She got so hot looking for him, but I knew the reason. It was to get him so excited he would blow asap. She told me exactly how it happened, so guess how I feel about it all now. She told me stuff like how "he was so heavy on her that she could hardly breathe sometimes, but had to take it". She wanted to "do him just the way he wanted to so that it would end quicker". She told me how he wanted her to sound and how he wanted her to bend her over and shove her face in a pillow and all those details. How he would squeeze her as he went. He made her wear bows and put her hair up and all kinds of weird stuff.
She said my dads penis is about 25% "bigger than" mine and that he went "really quick every time". She said that was the only part that made the whole thing bearable.
She kept going for about 2 months until she couldn't stand it, since nothing was happening. She told me sometimes he couldn't get hard or ejaculate or something so they had to take a bath together or some c**p. She didn't tell me they kissed until after a few months it was over with. She says they never had oral sex. She always came home with the lipstick on like nothing happened. She said it was "helpful but hate doing it, but didn't know what to do". The last time she was at his house she found a video camera on recording when he went into the bathroom and didn't say anything to him. She told me, and I had to act like I was mad at him, but it was really all my fault. She hated it every time, she told me. She really is a sweet girl and seems very innocent. She wants a real family. It has been about 1 year and she acts like everything is fine or at least O.K. Still no kids, thank goodness, but my dad and her never talk or are around each other, ever.
We still had sex but it sucked. I feel like I have lost all chances of ever loving my wife and having a meaningful relationship with her. I view her as only good for sex. She can't cook and can barely clean the house. I don't ever even need to look at porn or anything but I feel sick everyday. My dad seems happy and I'm glad for him. I asked him certain questions about things that happened and he just replies with nods. I started regretting the whole thing after the minute she left the first time. Is there anyway out? or should I just 'off' myself?
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WOW! Well, my first reaction to this was 'Complete scumbag!"
And I still pretty much think that way. What you have done to your wife was degrading, disrespectful and absolutely disgusting. You've used and abused her. Frankly, I think men like you need in-patient therapy and shouldn't be released until you have an iota of respect for the women around you.
However- I then saw the "or should I just off myself" and I'm sensing some mother issues, so I have the tiniest bit of sympathy for you. I still think you need therapy and shouldn't be around women- you're a vulture & have prayed on a vulnerable womans feelings for you. There are men in prison for less.
Yes you can get out of it- but I bet you won't. I have a sneaky suspition that you are getting off on people knowing what a scumbag you are & what you've done to this woman.
You can get out of it by letting the poor girl go. Give her some money & help her get started in life again- far away from you & your equally sick father.
And you definitely require a therapist. If you continue in life with that female-hating attitude, you'll end up old & lonely- it doesn't matter how good looking you are.You have a very ugly personality- you should start working on that.
V
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Secondly, what you are doing to this wife of yours is so inhumane,you should let her go after you help her get her citizenship(you owe her that much). Make sure you file for a divorce and let her go and find real love and happiness with someone else.
If you dont, then you are really a sick animal and there is no hope for you.
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I'm not that "judging" type of person(lucky for you) but i AM going to tell the truth no holding back.
If your story is the real thing and not just you trying to be funny or get people(very nice caring and patient people btw) on this site upset then i have no problem giving you my opinions and advice..
Ummm...so what i don't understand is why you would marry a woman you are not IN love with? You can say you love her all you want but i know for a fact that you are NOT even close to being IN love with her.
I have deep sympathy for your wife and i hope you do the right thing and tell her the truth and everything you have done to her. I will never ever tell anyone to leave their spouse...my motto is "talk it out first" and that's exactly what you need to do. And if her response is leaving you with no warning, honey i cant even blame her...what you did and ARE STILL DOING to her is beyond sick, my friend...BEYOND SICK!
I advise you to go to a real psychologist to get treatment and real proffessional help...
And if at the end of the day you can look your wife in the eyes and tell her that you are in love with her and that you have never ever lied to her...then you are not a real man, in-fact i wouldn't be able to see you as a human being.
So if you know that THAT is what you say to her everynight and you feel no remorse..no pain or sickness..then you need SERIOUS help.
I reccomend a marriage counslor IF she decides to stay with you...
If you take my advice and talk to her and she really decides to stay with you...then you are truly a lucky man, and I wish you both the best
Oh! And as for your dad.....just......WOW!
Goodluck & Godbless<3
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now, before i start on the actual advice i'm about to give, i'd like to mention that, contrary to Violet's comment below, you are NOT a vulture. and about what you said at the end of your post, please do not kill yourself. i'm sure a lot of people care about you and you don't even realize it. please don't try to do that, okay? what you've done in the past does not define you as a person. i'm sure you're a good guy, you just need to get out of this pit you've put yourself in because of all those dumb lies before this all bites you in the butt so hard you can't get back up.
i suggest you sit your wife down and calmly explain to her that you've done some things you regret to the extreme. if you can't put it into words, try writing what you want to say and then practice saying it in front of a mirror before you two actually talk about this. remember, the things you will tell her (which is everything you put in the post) will certainly upset her. there's no doubt about that. imagine how you would react if someone did the same thing to you. however, that does NOT mean you have any right to yell back at her if she starts to raise her voice. remember to keep your voice as calm and stable as possible, no matter how angry/frustrated/nervous you are, okay? that is very important. also while you are having this discussion be sure to not touch her. i repeat, DO NOT TOUCH HER. at all. even a hand on her shoulder will make her feel violated and unsafe. if you think you might hurt her in any way during this 'talk', it'd be best to get someone to be in the room with you two during it. a psychologist would be fine, a couple's counselor, etc. that way you can tell the counselor but your wife would be sitting right there, so you won't have to look her directly in the eyes while you're saying it.
in the meantime though, i suggest you start talking to God and telling Him you're sorry for what you've put your wife through. Jesus wants to be your counselor and since in your post you said you don't think you'd be comfortable talking to people about it, Jesus would be the perfect one to go to when you feel ready to talk about all this. he's ready to listen.
also, try not to lie anymore. haha i know it's really hard not to since lying has been like your security blanket, it's like a defense mechanism, but trust me, life is a lot better when you don't have to remember what you lied about and all that. ok?
i hope everything turns out the way God planned it to be. i'll be praying for you. you're a good person, you're just not living up to what you were called to do. there's nothing wrong with you. just because you've done stupid things in the past doesn't mean you are stupid yourself...everyone's done something dumb in their lives, even einstien and all that, so keep your chin up and don't feel so bad about yourself. there's no reason to.
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Give her all ur money, tell her you had a vasectomy, you ain't so Brite either dude, men can't have hysterectomies, you lied to her about wanting children and that you don't love her like you should. She doesn't need to know all about the sickness in YOU ! That you unknowinling made her participate in.
You r a freak! Sick, degenerate. I hate even giving you the attention writing this takes.
You r no different than a child molester.
You took advantage of someone that is weaker than you and you lied!
That is what molesters do.
You ARE a monster.
If you really care, you will cut off your own penis, so you don't ever do this again.
s**m!
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You realise what you did is illegal? Its prostitution. And since you were the "pimp" you can get years of jail time and i hope you do. I hope you go to jail
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Off yourself if you can't afford a serious therapist. Thank god you can't have kids. Wish you dad had a vasectomy sooner.
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you are looking for forgiveness from her then tell her ..the truth and accept the outcome don't worry she will listen and make her own decisions for both of you. trust your heart with delicate matters . I Care
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