Hi,
I just found this site and thought posting this might get me some good opinions/info. My mom has been on dyalasis for about a year and its been horrible. She is often sick and alwayssss weak. We can't do anything that my friends and their moms do like go on shopping trips, etc. Im recently engaged and since my mom is too weak to spend an afternoon at the bridal shop I have to bring friends with me. I of coarse dont let her know how sad this makes me feel but I really want her to get better so she can stop missing out on so much. She is very thin- about 95-100 pounds at 5'5". She hasnt put herself on the kidney list yet because a man at our church recently died from a failed kidney transplant. Her main doctor really thinks she could go on the list and get a 'new lease on life'. She is not diebetic and has no other health problems. She is 58 years old. My brother and I are unable to donate due to other health problems and no other family members have volanteered do donate so she would have to go on the list to get a transplant else where. I know she is scared and I dont know what to tell her to do. I know she can live many more years on dyalasis but her quality of life is so bad. She spends a lot of her time at home watching tv, or reading, etc. (she does go out to lunch once a week with a friend and she goes to church on sundays when she is feeling decent enough, and to the grocery store when she just needs a few items and can make it a short trip.) I just feel like she is missing out on life. I want so much more for her then this. Is a transplant the best choice or is it a risky miserable option? Im SO confused :-(
I just found this site and thought posting this might get me some good opinions/info. My mom has been on dyalasis for about a year and its been horrible. She is often sick and alwayssss weak. We can't do anything that my friends and their moms do like go on shopping trips, etc. Im recently engaged and since my mom is too weak to spend an afternoon at the bridal shop I have to bring friends with me. I of coarse dont let her know how sad this makes me feel but I really want her to get better so she can stop missing out on so much. She is very thin- about 95-100 pounds at 5'5". She hasnt put herself on the kidney list yet because a man at our church recently died from a failed kidney transplant. Her main doctor really thinks she could go on the list and get a 'new lease on life'. She is not diebetic and has no other health problems. She is 58 years old. My brother and I are unable to donate due to other health problems and no other family members have volanteered do donate so she would have to go on the list to get a transplant else where. I know she is scared and I dont know what to tell her to do. I know she can live many more years on dyalasis but her quality of life is so bad. She spends a lot of her time at home watching tv, or reading, etc. (she does go out to lunch once a week with a friend and she goes to church on sundays when she is feeling decent enough, and to the grocery store when she just needs a few items and can make it a short trip.) I just feel like she is missing out on life. I want so much more for her then this. Is a transplant the best choice or is it a risky miserable option? Im SO confused :-(
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Kidney surgery can be pretty risky and the waiting list can be years so I hope you realize that it wouldn't be a big cure-all like you are imagining. Instead of being sad about your mom not coming to the bridal shop, why not bring things to her instead? Make an adjustment around her new limited mobility and spend more time at home with her. I know that it's an adjustment, but it can help her feel included and you not feel so sad! Does this help? Does anyone else have input?
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She is only 58 and I feel like if she waits much longer to get on the list she wont ever get better. Almost everyone is trying to convince her to do it but she is scared. i dont want to tell her to do the wrong thing yet I feel like she is missing out on so much. She always feels sick and has very little energy. Its so depressing to watch someone waste away.
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