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 I am kind of shy and scared to ask for advice. I've already had an abortion about 3 months ago. When I went back for my check up I got birth control. I was hesitant to take it because I rarely take medicine. I don't like side effects to any and I don't like how they make me feel.. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We had sex last week. I was supposed to get my period today but I didn't get it. I'm scared and I don't know exactly what to do. I'm just waiting a couple more days. I talked to him about what's going on. I'm 18 years old and right out of high school. I don't want to have a baby and I feel stupid for having sex again after I already had an abortion. I told him that I don't know if I would ever have another abortion. Specially as close to the previous one I already had. He told me that he doesn't want me to have one because he doesn't think I could handle the emotional aspects of it because I was sad and I cried for a couple days. I don't feel regret for what I did. He already has a daughter with someone else. When I see him with his daughter it just makes me think that I don't want a baby any time soon. I'm going to the military soon. My mom is strict and she hates my boyfriend for already having a daughter with someone else. I know she won't accept the fact that I could be having a baby, from him specially. I'm only a week pregnant. I need some advice. I don't know if I should go through with another abortion.

 

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Hi Needless,

Slow down.  How do you know you are pregnant?  Just because you didn't get your period "today" does not mean you're pregnant.  Having sex a week before your period it is unlikely, but not impossible, that you would get pregnant.  Normally the egg is not viable 48 hours after you ovulate, which should have been between about days 11 and 16 of your cycle.  You had sex around day 21.

Again, it's not impossible that you could conceive.

You can try a home test.  If it is negative, and you still haven't had your period in another 7-10 days, then retest.  Use ONLY your first morning urine - wakeup urine - for the best accuracy.

Your boyfriend should be involved in any decision.  It would also be his baby too.

Good luck.

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Dear needlesstosay

An abortion has a terrible impact on both your body and your mind, and I would certainly not advise abortion. The dangers are compounded being so very close to the previous one. Are you in US? I would suggest contacting an organisation like Focus on the Family who can help you cope with what you are going through.

However, your period may be late. Periods are often irregular after an abortion. If your period was due today, you would probably have not been in your fertile a week ago.

I assume your previous abortion was your current boyfriend's. How old is he?

Your mom may be strict, but it's probably because she cares for you. Your mom's assessment of your boyfriend might be right! I think she will accept the fact you might be having a baby, but she will be very sad. If you turn out to be pregnant, you will need her help and support. If you turn out to be not pregnant, you will still need her help and support! Strengthen that relationship.

There are several issues here you need to sort out. But I hope this helps as a start.

 

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I actually just checked my calendar and I had sex on day 14. Right now I'm just going to get a test.
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Good idea. Let us know the outcome, please.
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