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My husband is driving me crazy. I have just been married three months and I haven't been happy ever since. There are just so many things about my husband that I find very disturbing. It started on the very first night of our marriage when he told me that if I ever do anything wrong, he'll kill me. So obviously he doesn't like me talking to any of my male friends and makes an issue everytime I do. Moreover, there is this one aspect that I find really disturbing. Two days after my wedding I realised that he had a folder in his computer in which he had about 50 photos of girls. He claimed that they were photos of his friends at university that he had taken over picnics etc. However, I had my doubts because there were no guys in the photos. Moreover, he had also added to the folder photos of my cousin sisters (who are just teenagers) taken over our wedding. When he realised that I had seen the photos, he started analysing them and started talking about how sexy my sisters were and how good they'll be in bed. He went on talking about my sisters for about 15 days after our wedding. I then had to go away for a while for work. When we got back together, I introduced him to a friend of mine (who happens to be very pretty). That evening he asked me to logon to my Facebook account and spent hours checking out her photos. I don't think my husband is the type who would cheat on me, but he definitely seems to be obsessed by photos of women.

Oh I didn't mention that he is emotionally abusive and has just started showing signs of being physically abusive as well. He has issues with how I dress up. He complains that my jeans are too low, or my knee-length skirt is too high and I better wear decent clothes. He expects me to be covered completely from neck to toes. If I would wear a skirt he would make me bend down in order to check how high the skirt would go. I find it so so insulting. I've tried reasoning with him, but he is like...nooo, you have to listen to me.

He once made me watch scenes from this movie in which a boss beats his secretary with his belt on her hips. For some reason he found it quite exciting and hit me really hard three times on my hips. For him it was just fun, but it hurt so much. I told him so, he just smiled. He would often pressure (he is not forcefully doing it 'yet') me to do sexual things that I hated doing.

All this is accompanied with days when he would just not want to talk to me, he'd stay silent from breakfast onwards all the way to dinner-time. I am considering leaving him before I get too used to living with him or before I have children, which he has been insisting on having since the first day of our marriage. He doesn't know that I am taking pills, which would make him very upset. The only reason I feel he wants kids so early is that he wants me under further control.

It would be great if I could get some advice.

Thanks

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This sounds horrid, you want to marry someone and they switch so quickly after. I think you should leave him. We're humans and we find other humans attractive but the fact he has folders of women and has the audacity to speak about your own relatives? But he tells you how to dress.. I would have suggested reasoning with him but if he is showing signs of potentially becoming physically abusive then it isn't worth it. I'd get away before you can't (as horrible as that statement sounds). And I think it's really wise you're taking pills - it doesn't seem a good environment to be bringing children in to. Good luck
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This is controlling and unnatural behavior. He wants you to have children so you can't get away. I would get an annulment under grounds of being scared. If not then just flat out divorce . go, and go now because it is going to get worse. 

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Thank you very much for the response. I've tried my best reasoning with him as far as my dressing style is concerned, but he told me that he wouldn't listen and I have to dress up as he says. The thing is that I am personally quite conservative when dressing up, no short skirts and not even sleeveless blouses. I am doing really well in my career, I am actually doing my husband's dream job, which is to lecture at a very good university. I am sure I would at least know how to dress up. Moreover, it is such a sickly feeling getting ready everyday for work and having to ignore comments on how you look everyday. It might also be that my husband is jealous of me having a great career and is trying to affect my confidence, He himself is doing quite well too so I don't see any reason for him to be jealous.
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My mom and dad had been insisting on me leaving him for almost a month. However, I thought that maybe if I change a bit and compromise a little and ignore a few things then I could make things work. However, in this process I see myself losing my confidence and I am just not happy.
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Okay please just aleast take 2 months to make your desicion. If you leave him now,and only 2 months, well thats Kim Kardashion's wedding failer.

I do think however that he is not a good guy. My dad is hard headed and sometimes rude, but that isn't emotional abuse. He is from the south and was a kid who grew  up on a farm. Swearing, old fashion disipline, and history is in his blood. He may sound like a bad guy to some, but he was a cowboy. Your man is not respectable, or husband like at all. If my dad knew i married a guy like that he would give him a woopin. 

 You are soooo young and should enjoy life without being afraid of the people around you. Drop him and move on!:-D

p.s.I would get a gun, self protection, against someone like him would come in handy. If you are scared of guns, dont be ! If it was you against him, and you had a gun, and he was trying to kill, you would use it, just go take a class to learn to shoot. 

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Omg... I would get out really fast! First off, the photos, OK that is creepy in itself and trust me, if he is that into them than he will cheat. And if he isn't making you do things you don't like yet.. he will. I know my boyfriend doesn't like me to wear low cut shirts n short shorts but he would never go as far as to making me bend over to check... and if he did I would tell him to go to hell. I was married for 17 years. Thought it was perfect until I found out he slept with my sister n best friend from high school. The fact that we have children and a home made it really hard to leave. Your still on your own... no kids , now is the time. Don't ever let a man treat you that way! Get out now. Pack while he us at work and go somewhere he wouldn't know. File the papers and cut your ties. Every woman deserves happiness and trust me there is someone else out there who will treat you right
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I personally think it is very unsafe for you if you stay any longer with him. You should consider leaving him bc for one you said he is emotionally abusive and then the physical part is bound to come. If you are willing to stay you should seek into marriage counseling more for him than you. Ad if this doesn't help either one then I advise you to get outbefore its too late. I hope this helps.
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How old are you because the moment he told me he would kill me I would have run? Who turns to the Internet for advice from strangers? Listen to you parents and run like the wind.

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WHAT? you don't make any sense?
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I myself suffer from mental condition. His actions sounds like my own personal thoughts or doings. I with they would not have happen now. I love my wife. She has never hurt me. I have best I can get from doctors dual personality issue. The feeling I am being forced by another person inside me to act that way. Alcohol really makes me crazy. Till I got proper medication and I have stay clear of alcohol it was just getting worse. But I had to help myself and learn to tell the doctors the truth. Not sugar coat it so not seem so bad. Reason I am on here is it is work to mentally deal with daily but it can be done. I hope he addresses it before to much damage is done to your relationship.
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