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I AM 33YEARS OF AGE AND MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND WHO IS 40YRS,FOR TWO YEARS NOW, THERE ARE DAYS WE LEAVE VERY HAPPY BUT SOME DAYS , I BE CAMES IRRETATED ,ABUSIVE AND HOT TEMPERED EVEN TO THE EXTEND OF BEATING ME UP.WHEN HE IS ANGRY AND ASK A QUESTION, I ANSWER IS A PROBLEM ,I KEEP QUIET IS A PROBLEM. PLEASE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW,I WANT TO FILE FOR A DIVORCE, I HAVE NEVER GREW UP IN SUCH AN ENVIRONMENT WITH SUCH A PERSON BEFORE NOW. I CAN'T BEAR IT ANY MORE. 

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Hi Guest,

If he's beating you up, leave.

I would suggest you report him to the police and have your injuries documented.  There is NO excuse for hitting a person, hot temper or not.

Press charges.  You can always negotiate with the prosecutor that all you want is for him to get help - court ordered and supervised.  Do not drop the charges no matter what he says.  He may say he'll go but you can't force him to go without a court order.  This order is also your protection in case he gets even more upset.

Good luck.

 

 

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Hi guest, medic-Dan is right. You must get out of this situation. Believe me, it will only get worse. Domestic violence is the number one cause of death and injury in women of child bearing age. You deserve better. I know it is hard. You don't want to leave him, you just want it to stop. But it won't unless he wants it to AND he works very hard in counselling to make changes to his behaviour. But you are in danger right now. He may never change. I waited 22 years for my emotionally abusive husband to realise he needed to change. It never happened. We are now divorced but it had taken a long time and a lot of therapy for me to recover from the damage he did. I don't know where you live but in most western countries there are help lines and services for women experiencing domestic violence. Get in touch with them as they will help you leave, stay safe and build a new life. It is very hard to do this alone but there is support out there. Also, do you have someone you trust that you can talk to? It is really important to get emotional support, but it needs to be someone who will support you leaving. Don't stay quiet out of embarrassment or shame. He is the one that should be ashamed, not you. But abusers have a way of making their victims feel shame. Don't take that on. make a plan to leave, but do it with the support if a women's domestic violence service ad they will advise you about how you can leave safely. And don't be afraid of getting the police involved. In many countries they have become much better and more sensitive in dealing with domestic violence. Please don't make the mistake I did and stay. It has cost me dearly in terms if my mental health and happiness. And a fear of loneliness is no reason to stay. There is nothing more lonely than an abusive relationship. since leaving, although it has been hard my life just keeps getting better. No more depression, much, nuch happier and a wonderful new partner who treats me with love, dignity and respect. There is hope, but not with your husband. Please get help to leave. It will be hard at first, but not as hard as living with an abuser. And if you have children or plan to, that is not a good environment for them. Take care and stay safe.
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