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hi I'm 16 going on 17 and 4 weeks pregnant. I don't have parents I can go to. My dad I don't know who he is. My mom was neglective and emotionally abusive and in my teens sexually abusive. I won't go back to her. I live with my boyfriend. He isn't supportive of this. Understandably so. He is having an issue with it. its the second time I got pregnant this time with birth control but unprotected because he said he won't wear one and he's said it's all on me. He wants me to abort. i told him last night and we got in a physical fight. left me with a black eye. He has a minimum wage job we live in a shanty. I have a summer job. he goes to college. I haven't even finished high school and we have no time for a family. We're struggling ourselves. I dont even think he ever wants kids with me in the future. He always talks about bi-racial kids as if they're a disaster. I'm white and he's african american. I don't even think I really want kids myself. I just don't have enough courage to just abort without any support. Last time he was very suportive and helpful. And he said this time I have to do it all on my own. He's busy at work he won't even be there when I get the abortion. I know I guess it's the right thing to do but I have no support no one to go there with me. No one at all. I feel scared depressed and just reluctant to go throug this even though the alternative isn't better. Advice?


If your friend is physically abusive towards you, i suggest you leave him. Never mind where you live or how you live or how much money you don't have, that is not important at this moment. What i will tell you, (and you maybe won't listen) but i am compelled to anyway. You are eligible to go into a battered women's shelter. I know that may sound ridiculous to you, but there is someone there to help you. You will get someone who will listen to you, you will have council, you will have a safe roof over your head and you will be in a situation where there are girls, just like you, in the same boat. Your baby's father will not know where you are. You will be protected and secure. Now is the time for you to begin a new life, either with your newborn or without. They will help you thru your pregnancy and they will help you find an adoption agency if that's what you decide to do.

I am not one to pass judgement but, this man has just as much to do with this baby as you do, i call him a man, loosly. Any man that lay's his hands on a women, a pregnant women at that, is not a man, i'm sorry, he is a coward. Please don't be offended at my words, i would say the same thing to my own daughter, in fact...i have.

You say you were using birth control. Were you on the pill? Getting pregnant while on the pill is rare. Many women go on birth control pills because their partner refuses or doesn't like to use a condom, generally leaving it up to "her" to make sure that a pregnancy doesn't occur. If you love him and can't live a single day without him, then stay. Hope that he doesn't beat your a** again. If he did it once, mark my words he will do it again and it will get easier for him to slap you around. If this is what you want, then i can't help you. If once is enough and you have the courage to leave, i will be more than happy to help you. It is hard to leave a relationship, but it's been done a zillion times's up to you. You will be able to go to school, work and begin to rebuild your life. You can have your baby or adopt it out. These people will help you get medical insurance and food stamps as well. Just think about it. Maybe the next time, when he decides to use you as a punching bag, he may kill you.