Hello everyone! I dont know whether I'm wanting a decision to be made for me or just to offload a bit!
Im 23 and have been with my fiance for 4 yrs - lived together for 2! Plan to get married in 2 yrs (once we've had chance to save)! Over the past 3 months I cant stop thinking about having a baby, being pregnant and being a mum! Ive joked about it with my fella & hes said he can make a baby but i can look after it! We talked about it seriously and he said he didnt want one just yet as hes working a lot at the moment, but this should hopefully settle down in a few years! He mentioned 4 yrs time! I really dont want to wait that long - i want to start trying not long after we're married!
I really feel i should wait until we're married before trying, but even 2 yrs seems like ages!it makes me want to have a lower budget wedding so we can get married sooner - but at the same time i dont want to just get married for kids, i want to make sure we're definately doing it for the right reasons! I love him so much & cant imagine my life without him! I feel we should wait so we can have a baby free honeymoon and so we can have the wedding we want (as getting married after a baby will be hard to save for)!
I just cant get the baby thoughts out of my head - everyone seems to be pregnant at the moment too - so many ppl my age seem to even be on their 2nd!!!!None of them are married & the 2 who are married dont have kids!
Im sure i could change my fiances mind it we talk it through properly, but i want us to share the responsibility!
What should i do - i feel baby crazy!!!!! - I used to hate kids - its like as soon as the rings on my finger its all i can think about - i want one now!
p.s we dnt own a home of our own, we rent! He has a well paid job, and i am looking for a job at the moment after finishing my diploma!
Any opinions would be great - i havent mentioned any of this to my friends and family.
Thankyou fo your reply medic-dan, its nice to have sombody else's point view! I have thought through various factors - i would most likely stay at home for at least the first 6 months, then work part time (tops) after that! We are both living off my fiance's wage at the moment and have been while i have been in education, so i know we can afford for me not to work! I know there will be less money spare when the baby is born, but recently we have been a bit silly living the life of luxury (but that is very recent, we usually stay in most of the time) so we should still be able to afford it!
If i needed childcare i would ask my sister who is a nannie - she usually charges £9 an hour - about $14-15 ? Which unfortunately is around the same as my hourly wage - so no profit made - i would just be working to get out of the house and keep my foot in!
I know you're right, I dont want him to feel resentful - its just surprised me a bit that now he says he wants to wait, when he used to be the one saying he wanted to be a young dad & i wanted to wait til i was in my 30's! Hopefully the next 2 years will fly by! I should focus on my fiance, rather than being blinded by baby fever, now's the time to build on our relationship & make sure we're getting married for the right reasons - i dont want to be another statistic!!!
I just wish i could think logically all the time & just get babies out of my head - i need to hear some horrific pregnancy/birthing stories (& i mean horrific - nothing seems to put me off), haha!
Thankyou for your help! x