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Becoming a parent is a big responsibility and while some people do not see it until it happens, others are aware of it even before meeting a suitable partner. There are many reasons, including psychological, economic, social, and personal why a person may not be interested or is afraid of having children at a certain moment. That can be a big obstacle in your relationship with a partner who wants to have kids, as it needs to be a mutual decision.

Economic Reasons

To give a child what it needs and deserves is very expensive. Some people are just afraid that they will not be able to offer to their children what is necessary because of unstable income, not owning their own home, economy crises in the region, and many other reasons.

This problem is very individual and it depends on the point of view of future parents and their expectations. For example, most people are not going to be able to send their children to Harvard, and if that becomes the reason for not having children, then we are in serious trouble.

There are two extreme points regarding this issue -- individuals who plan to establish and secure their place in the society before having children, and persons who do not care much about their economic state and its importance for a child's life. Each of these extremes has its own pros and cons and it is up to a couple to make a decision. Raising children in poverty is not beneficial for either parents or children, but waiting too long to gather enough resources can result in losing a partner or reaching an age at which conceiving is less likely.

Psychological Reasons

People who had difficult childhoods often decide not to have children, probably due to a fear of their children experiencing the same thing. Psychological and psychiatric disorders including anxiety and depression can affect the desire to have children as well. These issues need to be assessed by a qualified professional, either a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Personal Reasons

If a person decided not to have children for any reason, such as being devoted to their career or being occupied with other things, the other partner is not supposed to insist. If a compromise can be made, that is good, but in no way should a partner "trick" the other one into having a baby, as it will, with rare exceptions, result in frustration and produce many problems.

Not having enough trust in the partner and relationship can also be one of the reasons for avoiding or delaying parenthood.

No matter what reason your partner claims, and no matter how insignificant that reason seems to you, give it a good thought and try to be more objective in your own reasoning.

There is a possibility that you are the one who does not realize the problem that is standing in the way of having children. Couples counseling can be a way to hear an objective opinion of a professional person. Be sure to hire only qualified couples counselors with good recommendations. Hopefully, that will solve your problem by making a decision that benefits both you and your partner.

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