I need help coping with my spouse ADD. The main problem is that she's using it as an excuse for her behavior and by that I mean the lies, the drinking and being fired from jobs. I have been about as supportive as I can be, except I won't let her jeopardize my son's college funds, our home life. We've been married 15 years; we had a great marriage and a lot of fun, a wonderful son. In the past few years her relatively minor issues got progressively worse and now she was recently diagnosed as having ADD, and is being treated by a psychiatrist with Xanax. We've been on the verge of divorce for about a year. Our marriage is in trouble and I am not sure anymore what to do.
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I'm sensing that you may be deeply angry with her for leaving you to make a life out of this war zone and I assume that she is acutely aware of your feelings and adds them to the baggage she is already dealing with. Well, my marriage is in trouble although my spouse has not ADD, well she is not diagnosed. I know how this may sound but I think that marriage counseling might be a good one. Please, find someone who has real experience in dealing with ADD couples or you may do more damage than good. I guess it is a big pill to swallow when you realize how much you may have messed up your entire life, how much you are hurting your partner and family.
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Having children with Add and as a Adult with an Add partner the best thing I can say is to educate yourself about Add. There are some excellent books out there on the subject. The next thing is proper diagnosis. Many other things mimic ADD. Such as being Dyslexic or having other processing disorders. Third thing is patience!! Many things are beyond their control medication will take time to find the right one. Counseling and well as a life coach can really help
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