Suboxone is it worth it?

Hello BriPatCol. I saw that your post was 3months ago...so I'm probably going to reply to no one but if you are still out there I just had a few things to tell you or anyone else in this position. 

If you can stand 4 days of w/d from the opiates you are almost done so stick it out. If you choose to take Suboxone and stay on it too long then your w/d symptoms will last very very long and it is hell. Long drawn out hell that never seems to end. I have tried several times to stop taking it at 2mg per day and by day 7 with out it I want to die. The w/d won't even truly begin until about days 3 & 4 because of its long half life and how it stores itself in your body. By day 7 I'm freezing but sweating to death, vomiting, diarrhea, restless legs and arms, my skin crawls or feels like bugs are crawling on it and the depression and anxiety are through the roof. So I have not been successful in quitting as of yet but I am physically and mentally preparing and making a strict plan that I absolutely have to stick to this time along with stocking up on natural vitamins and things my body needs. 

Unfortunately I too went to a center for drug addiction with all the counseling and drs. However, the drs flat out lied to me. I was taking a lot of vics, oxys, percs... toward the end of my addiction (was an addict for 5+ yrs), seriously I don't know how my liver didn't just quit. Anyways I was already 4 days into a pretty severe opiate withdrawal and finally got my appointment. They told me that the only safe way to make it through without any chance of relapse was to take this wonderful drug called suboxone. They did explain how it worked but NEVER ONCE did they say that it had one of the most powerful opiates in it and could be highly addictive. I was also never informed that the w/ds would last so much longer than that of my previous pills I was taking. So like a good little girl in recovery I did everything I was told. I was SO PROUD of myself, so was my family because I thought I had beat my opiate addiction. Too bad all I did was trade one for another under the supervision of a Dr.  It has now been a year and a half and I have finally figured out that these drs don't want you to ween off of this drug because it is all about money to them. They want you to give them the money instead of going back to the street dealers so the drs. hook you on things like methadone, suboxone & subutex so you just keep coming back. Well no more for me! Now instead of feeling like I accomplished something by quitting pills all I feel is anger for not doing my own research before taking this drug and fear of what is to come for me in withdrawal. Especially after reading all the horror stories online.

Regardless of my fear I am determined to beat this drug and have only been taking 2mg or less per day for quite a while. I started at 8mg/day. I now only have seven 2mg strips left and I am going to cut them into crumbs and I will go as long as possible without it then dose a crumb then go even longer and so on until the pieces are gone. At that point I will just have to suffer what is ahead because I just lost my job and can no longer even afford another appointment. I know I should probably ween down even more but I have no choice now. Actually even if I could I wouldn't go back to the dr. cause that only prolongs the inevitable. I am hoping and praying that it won't be as bad as some of the posts I have read on here and on 100s of other sites. The posts SCARE ME TO DEATH but not enough to continue this horrible drug. Everyone's w/d experience is different and mine is my own to go through.

Also recently, I'm not sure if it is because my mind is dead set against taking it anymore or what but I am actually getting sick after I take it. I hate the taste & smell. I have terrible headaches, nausea and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. It has been that way for about 5 months now. It is great at 1st. It gives you energy, keeps you from relapsing on other drugs, makes you feel like a normal functioning person. Well not anymore. I don't even feel like I am living life now and that is not me! I WILL find ME again and then I can be proud of what I have done!

So please if you have chosen the sub route and are still on it after 3 months begin your taper NOW! This drug should only be taken for a VERY SHORT period of time. Taper as low as you can possibly go and then be done no matter how bad it gets. Take Vitamin B12 for energy, or buy the Withdrawal Ease supplements...it has everything natural in it that your body needs to be healthy again. Try very hard not to take any benzos as they are just as addictive. Drink LOTS of water, exercise even if you want to sleep just do it. Not like crazy exercise just go for a walk or light run or dance to your fav music. Exercise naturally creates the "high" we addicts tried to achieve with drugs. Exercise leads to the release of certain neurotransmitters in the brain that alleviate pain, both physical and mental. This can happen during exercise, eating spicy food, laughter, love and lets not forget orgasm. These are the natural "opiates" in their abilities to produce these endorphins and a feeling of well-being. So make sure you do all of those things...you do not need a drug to feel high! Just go for a little run, take a hot shower, fall in love & take ur lover to get some spicy food and see a really funny movie to laugh at then go home and have lots of sex...there your naturally high!

I hope this helps you or someone else. I will post my on going saga of breaking the suboxone cycle as days go on. Oh and if anyone has any advice for me please reply. Any input is always appreciated. 

 

~~~decemberstar~~~

I am actually very glad you replied. You have a lot of good insight. Since I started taking suboxone 3 months ago actually a lot has happened. I started off with 4 mg a day and I did that for the first 2 months. Then I weened down to 2 mg for 2 weeks followed by 1 mg for the last 2 weeks. Well guess what? I relapsed and started taking Vicodin again for about 3 weeks. I was absolutely ashamed of myself and I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I decided to ween off of the subs simply because they weren't really effecting me like they used to when I first started taking them. But when I was on them everything was great. I started working out again, running a lot, all that good stuff plus meanwhile I was studying to get my life insurance license. I have crazy ADHD and for some reason on the subs I was able to comprehend everything I read and I was learning so much. Then all of a sudden after about 2 months I started to have less energy less motivation and I was having a lot of trouble studying so that's why I decided maybe I could ween off of the subs and be independent without them. Well I guess I was wrong. Wanna hear something weird. My doctor didn't want me to get off of them? Yeah weird huh I mean he could care less about the money right? Pfffftt dip my balls in honey and call me Ronald! It was a crock of sh*t. He told me if I get off of them now I will only have a 3% success rate. Just the thing I wanted to hear ya know? But I said f**k him I can do this on my own. Well about 3 days after I was completely off the subs I was losing my mind. I was pacing around the house thinking oh come on not again please God don't let me buy Vicodin. But I did. Maybe it happened for a reason. If you relapse don't get down its not your fault it's all in your mind. But I truly thinking withdrawing from opiates is way more moderate than withdrawing from subs. My doctor told me I would have to take the subs for 1 full year in order to successfully recover. What a load of BS. I mean how do you expect me to believe my withdraws would be worse if I was on suboxone for 3 months compared to a full year? It makes no sense they just want your f*****g money. Now here is where my success story starts. After I relapsed I had another eye opener but I had even more motivation than when I first decided to get help. So here's what I did and I promise you this is the best way. I bought 2 subs from a buddy of mine. I took 1 mg a day for 8 days so that I could get the Vicodin out of my system. After that with the last sub I took the tiniest pieces ever, I mean soooo small. I probably made that 1 sub last me about 3 weeks. Seriously... Really really small just cut them with scissors and keep cutting the corners off. While I was taking those pieces I was running a lot like 3 miles a day so that I could sweat out all of the bad sh*t out of my body. (Yes I was having tiny withdrawals but nothing unbearable; you just really gotta be strong and tell yourself this is my plan this is what I'm going to stick to). Not only that but I luckily have a steam room and a sauna at the country club my parents belong to. Steam room is the best to sweat. I was taking b12, b6, magnesium, and potassium pills along with an amino acid supplement that repairs my muscles after a nice workout and run. When I was done with my last tiniest bit of sub it was honestly like I wasn't taking anything anymore. I prayed a lot a lot and went to church every Sunday so that helped a lot. Honestly I think that sweating out the bad stuff really helped but mainly the running. Make yourself sweat. Keep pushing yourself and just keep busy. When I was off the subs yes I had tiny withdrawals but they were so tiny I mean it was just more of soreness not like I really wanted any drugs. And that was that, I have been clean for 2 weeks and I finally am back to my old self and I am so GOD DAMN PROUD of myself! I'm happy to say it. If you are in a rut, don't worry. I used to have that feeling like OMG I NEED SOMETHING. Now... Nothing! So key points.... - ween off subs almost immediately - ween off with tiny doses - run and sweat - keep busy - open your ears to the good Lord (He always listens) I've been where you are, losing my job, getting down on myself... And I'm telling you... Keep pushing, it will get better I promise you can only go uphill. Unfortunately I haven't found the right girl like you talked about haha but I do have a support system like my family... And a f**k buddy haha so she listens too. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck. I will keep checking this post and would be happy to reply as many times necessary. FOR ANYONR ELSE OUT THERE DO NOT TAKE SUBS FOR A LONG TIMR LIKE YOUR DOCTOR SAYS. THEY ARE FULL OF sh*t. Cheers!!!

I am so glad you are still on here and that you have an actual success story!

I am doing exactly what you did. Like I said I actually have seven 2mg strips left. I was worried that wouldn't be enough to ween low enough but after what you said about making that one last 3wks I'm not nearly as worried. I am just going to take itty bitty crumbs like you did until it is all gone. Toward the end of the supply I will take a crumb then go a few days with out then take another crumb and go even more days days with out until I am off. This better work...NO THIS WILL F***ING WORK! :)

I have actually never relapsed on the pills and so what if you did. That was nothing to be ashamed of like you said. In the end it actually helped in a way. I have however kept going back to the damn sub because the Drs do not tell you how to properly ween off (at least not mine anyway & yours either from what you said...they are f***ing money hungry bastards). So when I wanted to stop I tried quitting from 4mg...that was terrible and then I tried again from 2mg and that was also just as terrible. So now I'm doing it this way and praying to God every day that it works. Like I said it doesn't seem to be helping me anymore anyways. It hasn't been for like 4-5 months. It actually makes me sick and I have no energy or motivation to do anything & it is really pissing me off because that then makes me depressed. So enough is enough.

I am also glad to hear that you have a very good support system...including your f**k buddy, lol. I haven't had one of those in a long time being that I've been married for 12 years, (together 15yrs total) although I guess my hubby is mine, haha. My husband is very supportive though and I just hope he keeps it up even if I get really sick for a while. Sometimes he gets frustrated because he just doesn't understand as he has never had an addiction to anything and therefore has never experienced withdrawal. He has a tendency to think that it is just something you can "snap" out of after like a couple days. I have been trying to prepare him as well for what could possibly happen over the next month or longer. I have read him some of the posts on here and I think it has helped him to get a little bit more of an understanding. I am very close with the rest of my family as well and they would support me through anything.

I really can't sit around all day no matter what. I am a wife with four dogs who need constant attention and a home which always needs cleaned and always have cooking to do. Plus with summer coming up the yard work & gardening. I have always been an outdoors person and summer is my favorite. So I plan on doing lots of walking, running & swimming with my dogs. We also live on my family's 40 acre farm with tons of dirt bike & quad trails in the woods (I have ridden both all of my life). That is also a great workout...not so much the quads but when I'm on my XR100 it is definitely a workout on the trails we have. It also clears your mind tremendously. Riding motorcycles, dirt bikes or quads has always been like therapy for me & my hubby.

So I know I will have to push myself for a while but I really feel like I can do it this time. Being on here & talking to people like you also helps a lot. So thanks for the reply. I will update on my progress as much as I can.

Jessica
~~~decemberstar~~~

Sounds like your a little country girl haha but yeah honestly there are probably a couple different ways to stop the withdrawals but yeah that's my method. If you do find that your withdrawals are unbearable...as bad as it sounds I suggest relapsing on opiates for a week or two. Don't go too crazy on them just enough to trade your sub addiction to a less severe and temporary addiction with withdrawal symptoms that are much easier to cope with. When I relapsed I went without Vicodin for 3 days at one point and it was nothing like the withdrawals I had from the suboxone when I first weened off of them (1 mg). That's just a back up back up plan if you run out of options but I truly think the "crumbs" method will work. And remember... Talk to God. He is rooting for you all the way. I took a trip to the Domincan Republic one year to help build huts for people without homes and the love that I felt from seeing those people so happy with something so little made me devote my life to God after that very first smile I saw from those kids in the DR. If God has guided a little prick like myself through my struggles, He can guide you through your struggles too. All you need to do is talk to him and open your heart. God bless keep me posted. I will say a prayer for you and your husband during this time in your life.

Yep I am a country girl. LOL.

Believe me I talk to God everyday and my Nana who passed away five years ago. She was always my rock and sometimes the only one in this world who I thought truly got me. So with her and God on my side I feel I can definitely beat this. Something that gives me a lot of joy in volunteering for animal shelters. My doggies are my kids and all four are were pups so I give back as much as I can to the shelters and groups that support shelters.

A lot of people have suggested going back the vics/low dose oxy for an easier withdrawal. My problem is that is not an option because where I live NO ONE sells pills anymore. It's impossible to even find subs. So what I have left is it and I have come to terms with that. I just have to remember that no matter how bad it gets that I CAN DO IT...I can get better.

So far I have been taking little pieces for the last few days and I haven't noticed too much wd. Cold sweats a bit and fatigue but that is about it so far. But I know the half life is long so it will be a while before it really hits.

I love to keep journals...have written in them all my life...so I am keeping one specifically for my journey to quit the subs. I find that journal writing helps a lot. I just wish winter would F***ING GO AWAY!!!! I'm in PA and it is like the never ending winter. Me & the dogs need to get outside and "play" in the sun. Ugh!

If you don't mind me asking...how old are you? I have heard so many things about it being easier for young people to get through the wds. Have also heard it is easier for men. IDK...everyone is different no matter what. On another forum site I had some id**t tell me I was too old to make it through. What a F***ING A-Hole. If I could have found him I probably would have beat the sh*t out of him. I just turned 36 so that was scaring me a bit...cause I guess I am considered older by some, lol! I still get carded though (never looked my age) so haha to those that think I'm old. LOL!

Well I gotta go run some errands today. I will check in later. Thanks for talking to me and thanks for the prayers...can always use those. I'm Jessica by the way. I think I put it at the end of one of my posts already.

Thanks again,

Jessica ~~~decemberstar~~~

Wow that's funny I live in PA also. I live in Erie. I am 22 years old. YES I AGREE THOUGH THIS WEATHER IS HORRIBLE. I just want to be able to golf again I love the sun! Ha

Me too...I need the sun. I am about 30 miles East of Pittsburgh.