Subutex and Opiate Withdrawal is HORRIBLE, here's my story...

Dear r, your story could be mine and many other people i know and love. trying to wean myself off suboxone. Had 2 mg yesterday and was pretty bad off by noon today. decided that was too fast so got 4mg today. feel better but not good. i am not doing this with a dr just someone that loves me. i hope u made it to the other side of this hellish existance. I prayed for u aftet i read ur story. please pray for me and anyone out there ur advise would be appreciated. thanks to al s .

My story is more of a street drug abuser from back in the 80's when coke was hip, I got stuck. On a daily hunt for my fix, from the young age of 17 I saw alot of things & did alot of things that movies are made of. But there were many attempts to clean up. Not much success.Computers were not available like they are now & finding help wasnt a click away. (not saying its that easy now) . Went thru a few programs, got kicked out of a couple. I have to give you credit SusFal & the others that are taking these steps. It wasnt until my second stay in the prison system that I decided I didnt want this to be my life. There was no smoking, so being free of cigarettes I didnt go back to smoking.I took advantage of the ability to get a pell grant & go to a school, which gave me a specific skill Im still, 18 yrs later doing. During my coke addiction days I had a boyfriend who was on Heroin & went to a methadone clinic. He still went thru days of flu like systems changing over. Then after 90 days they start weaning him off the methadone. I'll never forget his struggle. But proud of him for doing it.

Back to me..So with my life on track, but still drinking & a daily pot smoker, I was a bit off my game & my world came crashing down....I had a life changing car accident. I was in a hospital bed for 9 months, many injuries & in a full body cast, Im put on a morphine pump. Already having gone thru years of addiction & finally some what beating it, the coke anyways, here I am again dependent on opiates daily to live with my pain . But my doc sayes as long as Im not getting a high & just treating for pain management Im okay. So I lie to myself saying , Im not addicted. I am now on triple what R ever did & Im scared that I will be this way for life. The doc sayes I will. Ive now gotten to the point where the doc sayes Im fusing together in my neck, the same as if Id had surgery the last 8 yrs ago.I've begged them to due some kind of surgery on me to make it so I can stop the meds. But he said there is nothing for people like me yet. I ask what about stem cell therapy. Still in trial. I said I will be a guinea pig. Anything....just let me not be pill dependent any more. so they up me from somas to the tizanidine 4, i can take 2 at a time for some mussel spaz relief. Ive been losing all feeling in my hands lately & no hope in site.Lots of heat pad therapy & using my 10's unit ALOT.

I do believe I have had to go thru this for a reason, to put my life on a new track that I wouldnt be on had the hand of the Almighty not brought me to where I am. I can remember my drug counselors, the N/A I lead completely blasted out of my mind thinking no one knew, the down days where I called my parents while in a field to say good-bye , the terrible hurt & injustice I did to my younger siblings, Those are the things I would so much like to take back.I was brought back from the brink of death 6 times & no one expected me to recover, but the price I have to pay now is a dependency I will forever have . I wish you well, my fellow souls who have that desire for a drug free life. I wish you all a drug dependency freedom. You have taken the first step, the desire to change the road you are on. You must change your friends. No more associating with the people who have been apart of that life. When I walked away from the street sh** I had to move across the country to a small town. Dont get me wrong you can still hop in the car & drive 3 hrs to a big city & get 'a fix' or in my case, 3 days on the street & even selling my car, that was my finale hurray. I will never do it again, but I only had a few years of sobriety until my crash, & my sobriety was shaky at best. Now I have new focus & new determination. But it took 2 prison stays, being institutionalized & death (everything you are taught in AA & NA) for a light of change to be born. Please dont go the road I have. I have been blessed to find my peace among animals. There is a peaceful life for each of you if you are TIRED ENOUGH OF BEING THAT PERSON YOU ARE, BRING OUT THE SUPERSTAR YOU HAVE WITH-IN YOU, my prayers of peace & hope for each of us.

Hello,

My son is currently in a correctional facility and has been on Suboxone for 5 years. (He was never able to give up that crutch) Now in the facility is 'detoxing' . I wanted to send him articles others have gone thru. Is there a way I can print some of your blogs to send to him?

I think it may help.

Laura 

This totally touched my heart , R.... I'm 26 .... I screwed up and made a mistake I'm not gonna tell my whole story ... Opiate withdrawl is hell . & I'm only 1 day clean . All I can think is if I just take 1 it won't hurt and matter a fact ill feel better but worse inside . I work minimum wage , 4 yr old ... I jut wanna live LIVE HEALTHY!!!!! Easier said then done .

i want to die beacause to all of this you wrote and anyone trys to write about those things,the only positive thing is at the end i hope to see you all on the other side.mabe thats the solution not trying how manage withdrawls like myself on suboxone and even i suxesfull pass all this my life will never be the same beacuse of the dissorders to come.so two things on my mind one is mabe that what life means the most feelings the most succsesfull at the end of our life will be ,even the worst ones,like spiritual beings we are ,mabe worth to another place but not here.and the second thought is to end this life when it takes that term instead of fight it will be the easy solution that all of us can for sure stand and make happening.thats my opinion not good and healthy but this is untill a mabe higher sivilazation come and give to us the perfect drug .hahah .i wish you the best

hi im on suboxon and have been for 4 years its the same as subutex except it has the naloxone in it they arnt ghooijg to be making subutex anymore that's what my doctor told me but anyway withdrawls are realy bad the suboxon once also they say sub are easier to get off of then methadone but personaly for me I don't thin its easier ive withdraweeld off of subuoxon many times and its the worst I don't know how anyone can even think right going threw such pain its not really the physical part its the mental part I want the high the most its like I have to have something if I don't im in big trouble and its funny about the tramadol it gets you very high if u take 4 at a time that's what I was addicted to before I got on subs but some doctors say its not a narcotic but it is anyway when u said u told the doctor u don't want vicodin you rather have something less strong its funny cuz that's exactly what id say to get it I guess addicts really do think a lot alike when it comes to pills so did u ever get over your withdrawls I don't think I can get off of my subs I am terrified of feeling the effects even if I do it slowly my worst problem is not feeling a buzz

how are u doing now? i am doing it alone

wow..what a story and I feel for you.

 

I shattered my ankle so badly two years ago that I had to have two surgeries and it is forever held together with screws, bolts and  nails; I also severely damaged my spine falling down 17 flights of stairs...needless to say the doctors put me on oxycontin, Soma and anti-depressants.  I have been tapering off of these drugs for the last 4 months. I am completely off the Soma, almost off the anti-depressants as they caused serotonin toxicity and almost killed me, but the withdrawals are still there, especially the sweating in an ice cold room and waking up with nausea every morning.  I am going to go to natural vitamins and supplements as well as try 5HTP with vitamin B6 and ascorbic Vitamin C in this combination..I have researched the internet voraciously for help and organic supplements seems to be the answer to helping alleviate some of the withdrawals, but nothing will eliminate them completely.

 

Talking to others on this site has been a tremendous help..all we can do is tough it out and support each other.

Alexandria

I am 34 days off Sub and it is honestly the first day that I felt normal enough to function like a real human. Talk about Chinese water torture. 2 weeks of ZERO sleep is like being in solitary..you really do lose your mind. You have heard all the horror stories so I will not bore you. Have patience and if you really want it for you...to get back your life (and not just doing it for your spouse or because it is court ordered or because you simply do not have enough money to be a junkie), then you can do it. While there is a lot of great advice as how to naturally get through this, it makes me sick to hear people who claim to be getting clean but are scarfing down hydros and tramadol. WTF?  Why waste your time? Of course you "don't feel the WDs"? Im sure there are a lot of alcoholics in recovery that would love to have a case of light beer by their hospital bed. Get real people. You (as was I) were righting checks your body could not cash for years. If you really want to quit, it is time to pay up. What in life is good that comes easy? NOTHING. I can tell you when you break through Sub WD on day 34 / 35 (which was the point for me), it will be the best day of your life. Better than the first day you ever did opiates X 1000. Every day after is christmas and you will be enlightened as to how numb you have been. Grass smells greener. You finally laugh again. Hearing certain songs give you goosebumps again. And AHHH YES, you lie in bed serenely without tossing, turning, tossing, turning. Do yourself a favor and do not ingest even one pill that has opiate base. It is total cop out and just extends the misery. I dont mean to be so harsh but I run across these "I'm clean" posts and it makes me sick to hear someone recommend taking anything opiate based. If it were so easy to quit, we would all be junkies forever just turning off the spicket when we had enough. Get real and get serious. I promise you that you will be rewarded more than you will ever believe

And it takes hard work and a serious commitment to get off these opiate. I have been taking specially formulated vitamin supplements to help take the edge off the hellish withdrawals from oxycontin. Opiate also interfere with the body's natural ability to produce and balance the natural production of amino acids, vitamins and other natural chemicals.
I only have two 40mgs Oxycontin pills left to taper off of and I will never take them again even though I live i chronic pain from degenerative bone disease, arthritis and a severely shattered ankle that required 3 surgeries..metal plates, bolts and screws holding it together.. It was the surgeries on my ankle that started the whole oxycontin addiction and the surgeon should should have taken me off this drug shortly after I went home.

There has got to be something not addictive and so dangerous to help with the pain that is never going to stop/

Yes..it is a living hell and today is one of those days that I don't think the withdrawals are ever going to stop. I will feel ok for a few days and them..wham.....the sweating will start out of nowhere again. I keep reading where people only take two weeks to a month to start feeling better..why has this been going on for months for me?  My psychiatrist had to put be back on a lower dose of soma because the pain in my spine and ankle shot through the roof, but mostly to stop the sweating..it had been going on since my other doctor took me off of it cold turkey in July, and I have spent since July throwing up and sweating to death and seriously depressed.  I only asked the doctor to take me off of the oxycontin, but he decided to take me off off both meds together.  That has proven to be far more than my body can handle. The psychiatrist here is one of only two doctors in this town specially trained to help patients with opiate withdrawal and he was shocked that my family doctor had taken me cold turkey off the oxycontin as well as the Soma cold turkey. Since i am back on a low dose of Soma, and will be withdrawing very slowly off of this ,the excessive sweating has almost stopped completely.  The throwing up has stopped completely..  I am forcing myself to get on a plane Sunday to go stay on the beach with my son and daughter-in-law for a month so I can get away from here and just focus on my health.I know with the degenerative bone disease, rheumatoid arthritis, a damage spine and shattered ankle that I will always be in some kind of pain...I was in pain before and ws managing to do my photography just taking cymbalata and soma.  It wasn't until I shatter my ankle and the surgeon put me on the oxycontim that that this nightmare started

Thank u for ur story...im on suboxin and iv been tapering down for 11 months now and in two days ill take my last dose...so im reallyyyyy reallyyyy very nervous...but...how r u today..r u clean? Again thanks for taking the time to tell me ur story.

On the contrary... People can handle suicidal thoughts. They can even seek help, if they can't find it in themselves to wait for that moment to pass. They choose not to. Big difference. They don't tell anyone. Much like you, the shame keeps them suffering in silence. I hope you're well now.. I have had some similar issues for over 10years. I've gone through many withdrawals. Usually lasting 3 or 4 days before someone helps me, or I get my script filled.. I have never experienced withdrawl like yours tho. ( I haven't taken as many pills a day either, but my problem is still a problem. I do abuse my script) A lot of that is in your mind! Sorry. It's true! I have withdrawl worse than some people I know.. A lot worse.. But I tell myself I have the flu, and will be fine in a few days. I have to make myself believe that - otherwise, I will, freak out and the symptoms are worse. I've never done the street drug thing either, or even taken anything that I wasn't prescribed. I've taken someone else's med, but it's the same as my script. That's what I mean. Btw, I don't know this for sure, but I truly believe most addicts have anxiety and that why it's so easy to get addicted to meds. Normalcy feels great. Anxiety has some very subtle symptoms that are always there. It can make you feel less than healthy, but still, nothing like pain meds make you feel. I experience a lot of withdrawl symtpoms - to a lesser degree - while I'm taking pain meds. They also make me so numb, I might as well be in the bed depressed. Oh, and when they wear off in 3 to 4 hours, I get achy. It seems most if us aren't smart enough to realize we withdrawl everyday. It a sad disease. I know!

I myself have been struggling with opiate addiction for 22 yrs now!! I can relate with ur story. I was a new car manager for an high line car dealership. Great job,great pay! But my use brought everything down. Ive been to jail several times due to opiates. Im tired. Im 44 ,and been doing this since 17. Im now taking 150mg Methadone a day. Im on Dissability. I hurt !! I dont know when this will end???? Im so tired ,and scared!!!!!

Hello R ill go by M I have a very similiar story and I liked reading yours. I lead a celebrate recovery group and lie my socks off and everyone believes me