Hello everyone! I have been a long sufferer of OCD. Doctors gave me many heavy medications (4 prozac a day) and after 10 years I voluntarily gave them up because of their side effects. I lost my complexion, developed weak immunity, gained weight and I began to get excessive sexual urges. Although I have lived a very chaste life i.e never had a boyfriend or never even flirted with anyone. I have never watched porn). During my sleep I feel strong sensation in my genitals and abdomen. It gets so terrible that I get emotionally disturb and when I rub my vagina and get a orgasm, I get back to normal. Now this happens to me every night. I can't even tell anyone what I am being through. A long time ago I even don't dared to touch my genitals in this way because I felt disgusted with even thinking about it and I used to cross my legs and press so hard until I had an orgasm. It got my lower abdomen hurt and I got a fever. I went to a lady doctor and she realised it that I have masturbated and she looked at me with disgust or thinking that I am a pervert. But actually I am not. I am already emotionally broken because of this thing and can't even tell to single person around. I have spent many nights crying because of this. I am a virgin and I hate this thing. I hate myself now for doing this even though I know its something not in my control. I have repented to God many times to forgive me but it happens to me again and I feel so shameful and disgusted. Please Help me!!! I am 24. I am also worried that if my hymen is damaged or not. I have remained on heavy medication for almost a decade only to get a worse problem than getting cure from a disease.
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