Hi I would first like to say I would love to hear from some people that have had similar experiences with weight gain and then the struggles that come with weight loss.

Here's my story anyway...

I was an average teenager in height and weight not overweight, just average on the slimmer side, 5'6" and always between 60-65 kilo's aged 16-17. But I fell sick and was put on some medications that increased my appetite but also slowed down my metabolism and left me feeling very lathargic and exercise being the last thing in the world I wanted to do at the time.
I reached my biggest weight at 101kg last year aged 20 but have managed to drop back down to 92-90kg but still feel significantly over weight, I have made a lot of changes in life style, but there always seems to be something holding me back from reaching and attaining my ideal weight, as soon as I lose a couple of kilo's I start to sabbotarge it by pigging out on bad foods and resisting exercise until I get back to where I started.
It has been 4 years since I put on the weight and although its in the past and really is not relevant (as my boyfriend says) I still make it my excuse! I guess what I want to figure out is, why do I do this to myself, I'm forever asking advice off professionals, friends and anyone that has been there but is it because I want to be helpless and enjoy the attention? Is that some of the psychology behind it? And every time my boyfriend reminds me he misses he's ex's primarily because of the differences in their sizes to me! makes me feel rebellious and not accepted, but really what I should be doing is fighting back by attending an exercise class and kicking my butt into shape!

Now this is what I have been thinking... I love kickboxing and I have found a mixed martial arts centre that is abour 20mins from my new home. I have just started a new job though and want to settle in before I begin. Also I want to learn the jive with my boyfriend and lose weight while having fun.

But as these are just words right now I want to know who has been there?!? Who knows what it feels like in my situation and what have you done to pull yourself out of it?!

I would appreciate all of your comments so don't hesitate to leave one.

Thank you