Hi

i request anyone reading this to read it completely please and help me....
i m 19 female(no health problems till now like bp,sugar,site etc but suffered from hyper acidity i.e getting pain in the middle of the chest for a while n i controlled it)

upto my 8th std i stayed along with my parents..in a small town..just enjoyed life didnt study anything...after that my parents kept me in hostel in a big town...i cried a lot n lot becoz of homesick..my dad used to come weekly twice...

at that time i m unable to understand anything wt they are teaching in the classes ..students are from different places n many of them are bright n good..i got around 60 rank in my first monthly test of my 9th std..i cried a lot n said to my father that i ll go come bk to home n i wont stay here...then he said me i.e a small town so u r famous there if u study well here then u ll become famous even here...

actually i m pretty famous in that previous school..so i strated studying FOR THE SAKE OF MARKS...to get reecognized by teachers n to get 1 rank..but not with interest to gain knoledge..some how i got 90% in 10th std....after  that in inter also some wt better i learnt n got 97% n joined engineering in one of the top university in india..

now i m in 3rd year(5 sem) from past 2 n half years my life is like a big mess....plz i need help..my mind is soo wavering..in my first sem i didnt study anything got 68% nove over all ave is 75:( n one more thing...i dont know wt i m ?? i m ean how i ll react to particular situation :(....how i ll act...sometimes even i tough times i ll be confident n sometimes for silly things i ll cry badly...n cries often..i m not good at socializing..i ll talk with everyone..but i wont trust anyone completely...

i m close to my family but not anyone outside that...i don know...i hate most of the ppl around me...i wont like ppl who ll do backbiting..i guess so i can sense others well not sure....

whenever i want to focus on something at a time there ll be so many other things running in my mind...i ll be telling to myself like...give priority to this work...but i cant...so  messy messy..confusing a lot ..i dont know my strength n weakness also :(:(...i dont know anthing abt myself properly n correctly...

i want to be matured earning well ...i m not sure abt whether i expressed clearly or not...but someone help me....