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Greetings, I hope you can help me with my dilemma,

I'm 15, will be turning 16 in March of next year. I'm normal sized, blond hair, blue eyes, I'm outgoing, and I usually use logic to help me decide the best decision for myself. I love going online and being creative. I have lots of friends, and I love giving hugs to everyone who needs one.

Ever since I was little, and my Dad married his second wife, having their first and only daughter, I've always wanted to be a Mother. My Dad has four kids, and I love my little half-siblings to death. Most teenagers you encounter hate watching children for a long period of time, but I've played peek-a-boo with a little one year old that I babysat for my neighbor for and hour straight, and played with her 7 year old as well; they both loved me. I've always been told I'd be the perfect mother, and I can't wait to meet the perfect father.

The fact is, I have met the perfect father. I've seen him with kids, I've heard about how he knows to control his temper, he doesn't do any drugs, alchol, or any addictive substances, he works hard to get what he wants, and he's major sweet. He's my current boyfriend, and he wants to propose to me when he gets the chance, but that's just it: We've never met. I met him online, on a game. We've had webcam conversations, phone conversations, and we want to be together.

He's about to turn 18 this September, and he wants to have children with me next year, after I turn 16. He'll have inherited a large fortune from his tribe, to where he'll come see me, get a job in my area, and settle in an apartment. We'll both be working and saving up our money. I've listed my fears to him, but the yearning to become a Mother is so overwhelming. The worries of not having enough money, or that my parents might disown me for getting pregnant before I graduate college, which I haven't even started, equals that overwhelming feeling.

I know what many of you are thinking; She's a teenager, what does she know about love? Or, 'Maybe she just wants a baby, and is useing the father's money for her own devices.' I can answer both of these. When you've been hurt so many times in your life, been abandoned by everything you once thought loved you and cared for you, and that one person stayed there and was by your side through it all, how could you not love them back when they tell you they have feelings for you? If that isn't love, I'll never know what it is. The second is this; I know someone who is a single mother, who is also my age. I've seen what it does to her and the baby. I don't just scoop out any rich person for my own devices, I look for someone who will love me and my baby, and all the craziness that comes with it.

Back to the matter at hand...

My parents are very strict people, sometimes very kind, but most of the time, they put me down with words, and sometimes my step-dad and brother get into horrible fights, and the only reason, I believe, I haven't gotten hit is because I keep what I want to say to myself. But being pregnant is something I cannot hide, and I'm afraid my parents my try to force me to get an abortion, which I'm strongly against.

So my big question is this: I want to get pregnant, and become a Mother as soon as possible, which /will/ happen next year, the problem is...what should I do to make this easier on my family and my soon to be fiance, as well as to take care of my developing baby?

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there are loads of things that i would want to tell you but will keep it short
i am sure ur in love and believe me i know what one feels whn ther r in love
but having a baby at such a young age i wont recommend and i am sure no one will
sometimes we have to do things that we r not willing to do
just think about the consequences of having a baby at this age?
what will people think about u having a baby?
how will u be able to continue ur studies?
if u cant study and make a career out of it then u wont be able to give all the facilities to ur child
do remember that not every marriage works and do look at the rate of divorce
People change and i have everyone around me has as we have matured and all
you might change ur boyfriend might change
trust me u shouldnt even be thinking of having a child
best of luck
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The thing is – your 15. You haven’t ever lived on your own or taken care of yourself, let alone someone else or a baby. If I, or anyone else, did all the things I thought I had to have or do, well we sure would have a world filled of rock stars, footballers, astronauts and happily-ever after princesses. That just isn’t the way things go in life. Having a child is a one thing, but all of that with someone you never met. What if he doesn’t like you when you finally meet? That is also a possibility, you know. As bekind said, no one will tell you that you should have baby at 15. Not only because we “can’t understand” but because you are still a child yourself.
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I'm not trying to put you down but I don't think you truly know what you're doing. You talk about how people you love have left you and put you down and so I'm thinking that you might just want to have a baby so that you will have someone to love you and who won't leave you(well, at least untill they go to college). I am 17 and I have a baby. I know that I was not ready to be a mother yet. I had never had to take care of myself and so therefore I wasn't a very good mother in the beginning. I know that I couldn't transition from being carefree to having myself PLUS a baby and a husband to take care of all at once if I were you. Having a child is nothing like babysitting. You don't just get to go home when your "shift" is over. There is never any "you" time. Ever. You spend every waking moment worrying about the baby, even when it's asleep. You don't get to go out with your friends anymore. They don't exactly want to carry around a carseat everywhere they go. You don't get to go to college straight away either; there isn't any time!

Also, I'm sure you've probably heard this before but there are tons of health risks involved in having a baby at such a young age. The way the doctors put it is that you are still developing. Women don't stop developing until they are around 24 when their uterus' are fully developed into their adult size. Before that time, your womb isn't prepared to carry a baby and so you are not only putting yourself at risk, but you are also putting the baby at risk of problems such as premature birth and mental illness. If you wait to have a baby, you have a greater chance of having a healthy baby. This would make both yours, and the babies life a lot happier.

If you were truly being honest with yourself, I think you would realize that this isn't the best time to bring a baby into the world. How would your family treat both you and the baby? Would they love and support you? Would they help you raise the baby? I think that if I were going to purposely have a baby, I would consider these things for a very long time before I made any decisions. Please take what I have said into consideration because I have experienced this and know that having a baby in highschool isn't what its all cracked up to be.
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first i think you should really think of this.. you dont know who this guy really is.. im sure your reading what im saying n getting mad but i have something to tell you. when i was younger i expierimented on the internet and trust me there are alot of lies.. what if this guy turns out to be nothing you expect him to be? or what if he moves to your town and you realize you cant stand living with him?? and your pregnant by him... when you live with someone you notice little things about them that can discust you.. all im saying is be careful..

the main thing i want you to know is that if you cant take care of yourself { being able to pay rent or anything financially} than maybe you should not be so selfish by bringing a new life into this world. it is your choice. i think you are to young but im not saying you could not do it. you should wait. live your life before bringing another one in. and that seven year old you were talking about.. wouldnt you freak out if in 7 years he/she was a parent. live your life to the fullest honey. atleast try to wait untill you are closer to 18 you will apprieciate waiting in the future weither you believe that or not.

and im like you i would adore being a mother and thats all i can think about every single day. and i also know ill be a good mother. but i am older than you are and have lived my life a little bit.

its your choice tho
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Ok so you want to have a child at 16, but like the other response fron bekind I believe you really need to think about it. I was 15 when I had my child and it has been hard for me since then I am now 30. the father is and has never been in the picture due to his choices after the baby was born. dont think that he will be in your life forever. we all want kids but now if i could go back i would have waited to have them. i like you was around kids my whole life. i babysat and had lots of nieces and nephews but having one of your own you will be giving up your teen years where you would be having fun with your friends going out and all the other good stuff. now tell me this would you be able to take care of that baby when your parents dont want to help and your boyfriend/fiance leave you? think reall hard about it i seriously dont think you should ruin what you have now just wait until you are 18 and see how life is then.
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tell the guy you want to wait and tell yourself that because honestly at sixteen you don't know what Ur getting in to having kids is a big deal also having them at the right time can make it good news but if you have it right now it can effect your life right now having a baby will wear you down trust me i have 2 kids a 8 year old and a 10 year old it is not easy so really think about before you act think of all the pros and cons of this if you wait until your at least 19 you will be great full you had patience plus if this guy really loves you he will understand if he doesn't it will be OK it just means hes not the one trust me im 32 and i barley know what im doing half the time
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NOOOOO! Don't do it. Think about the child you'll be bringing into this world. That man you like is a pedophile. Instead of trying to run away with him you should be running away from him. Call the police. Have that sicko locked up. He has a screw lose. Besides him being a sicko with a screw lose he is probably lieing to you just to get in your pants. When it turns out to be true which it is, how will you afford your unborn child's education? College is super expensive. You will make your unborn child's life unnecessarily difficult. Think about how your child will do in this life. You still have a whole life ahead of you. At the very least wait until you are 18. You won't be all shriveled up at 18. You can have children in your 40's. so waiting until your atleast 18 is not bad. What about your education? You should be focusing on school not babies. You never want to be dependent on someone else for your finances. Get an education, get a GOOD job with that education get a house then have a baby. Our world has more than enough single moms and baby daddy's to last us. Don't do it. It's not smart. Our country can not afford to care for many more bad mistakes. If not for you or your unborn child then let it be for our country. You still have plenty of time to get knocked up. Go live you life first. Have fun, go to parties, meet new people, travel the world but do not destroy yours and your unborn child's life. Please I beg you. Don't do it. A little part of me has died today. I feel sick that someone would willingly trash their life like this. Your desisions don't only affect you. They affect the whole nation. Please don't do it. Not yet anyways. Just wait a few years. If you really want to share your love adopt a dog. Care for it love it.
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Awww honey... don't get carried away with people you meet online, it's not safe... trust me... i had a very bad experience with it and a lot of other people do too, there are a lot of very weird guys online that catfish or take advantage of girls who don't understand, but since you;ve never met him you can't even know what they are like till you've met them, and is this what he says about himself?  and for real? he already wants to get engaged and have children with you?, this is too much... i will tell you to just sit and  think about this for a moment... you've never truly met the guy in person, apparently he's a nice, sweet guy with no temper and he already wants get married and have your kids?, tell me there isn't something wrong with this picture?. I know you may not want to hear it but trust me from being there myself from some VERY weird guy who after just a week of talking to him tried to get me  to move down to him and was already saying he would marry me... when i had never ever met the guy in person... but from meeting a few guys online non of them were very nice guys and 99% of them online aren't... they are ether not very nice guys who like to mentally and emotionally mess with guys, catfish you and make fun of you with their friends or they just want sex or worse... been there...  and guys online only take advantage of the things you want, your loneness, insecurities and they act like they are the only ones that were some how there for you, but they aren't. My story is exactly the same as yours, i don't have a good family, non of us have much in common, they only care about themselves and have for the most part just neglected my emotional and mental needs, totally abandoned for sure, and it's just always been a lot of fighting and i've always just been left out of everything, had to sacrifice so much for them just so they can get what they want... my bro used to be a giant bully and used to pin my parents against me to get me to give him what he wanted of mine and they would then call me the selfish one, shout at me, shove me down and in general my parents claim they are supportive but they have never not once been happy for me with anything, believe me i know what it's like...  but letting all of that bother me put me in some horrible situations... the last straw was some guy i talked to for some years online as jus a friend, stupidly thought i could trust and then all of a sudden he calls the cops on me twisting what i said, ever since i heard and i''ve not just come to understand i can't talk to my family, it's pointless even trying, they don't care about me not really... and i just gotta focus on getting out of here, but not by talking to a lot of VERY weird guys online... that's NOT the way to do it. I know it may seen like your in a cage and you can't seem to find a way out but trying to find some bum online just to get out isn't the solution, and your only 15 years old, my advice is just hang in there until your 18, stop talking to strange guys online before something really bad happens and don't let them pray on you like that, people make it seem like the internet is a good place to meet people but it's not.. .some people got lucky but 99% of  the time your only speaking to weirdos, you remind me a lot of me, but just please don't do this and don't de-value yourself like this. What you could do is just find a job, save up money then in a year or 2 more out some where, find some people to be room mates with or some where someone is looking for roomies and get out, it's a MUCH better solution and more sensible.

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