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My husband and I recently got married about three months ago. I just found out that I am one month pregnant. It just seems too soon to have a baby. It is something we both want eventually, but neither of us can seem to get excited about it. I have considered the medicinal abortion, but can't decide if it will haunt me emotionally. I am 27 and he is 28, but we live a very active social life and I am not blind to how children COMPLETELY change your life. I feel as though I am being selfish and would like some help through this strange time. Thanks!

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Hey,

That's a very hard question with a very personal answer. Having marriage problems while pregnant is never pleasant, and having marriage problems because you are pregnant too soon is even less so. I feel for you. It's a very difficult question to answer. 

If you feel, in your heart of hearts, that you are not ready for a baby right now, and you feel philosophically comfortable with a termination, you know what to do. If you feel you and your husband could grow into the idea of having a baby, that is great. Think about it. And do what you feel is right. 

Big hugs and good luck. 

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Well, an unplanned pregnancy can be a super shock for sure. But i think as you become more pregnant, the idea will make you both happy, you just need some time to let it sink in, that's all.
As far as the alternative, that is strictly up to you and your husband. If you both feel that your not ready because of an active social life, i gotta say that is not a good enough reason, for me anyway. But, i can not judge either of you as i have had 2 procedures in the past. My reasons were much different and they weren't because i was to busy.
You are so right when you say that children change your life and it will never be the same when you add a child to it, but ya know, it's a wonderful change. I have 5 kids, all healthy (finally) and beautiful. I often think about the 2 i aborted, tho i don't dwell. I just wonder who they may have looked like or where would they be at this stage in their lives. Maybe 1 would have been the President, who knows.
Please don't make such a hugh decision based on your life style. I will have to parrot what you said in the last sentence of your posting, maybe you are being a little selfish. I don't want to scold you and i am no one to talk here but...what happened to the family planning? A young newly married couple usually figures out when they may want to start a family and uses protection. I know, sometimes stuff happens that is beyond our control, but really think it over, you have a little time to think. No matter which way you go with this, we know it's because you had to do what is right for you and your marraige. Good luck and come back so we know what you've decided.
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