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Im 21 years old and using birth control, i missed a couple of my pills when i went away a few weeks ago and had unprotected sex with my boyfriend, i didnt think much of it until i was a week late for my period. We have only been together for 6 months and though we really love each other we feel we may be too young to start having children, we both have a great social life and go out drinking almost every weekend with friends, I am also set to go to Ibiza with my girl friends in a few weeks and a festival at the end of next month, i just really cant decide on what is best i feel like i am just being selfish and thinking about how much fun i have and what i would have to give up if i were to have it because until now i had never even thought about having kids even going near other peoples scared me! but on the other hand i cant help think it would change things for the better and help us settle down a bit we have both said we would in together and raise the child if we were to keep it but it is all just very scary, we both have the exact same views as we have spoken about it for hours, i know my dad would support me as he loves kids, in fact hes always asking when hes going to be a grandad so he would be thrilled. I am not sure on the exact date but im about 3-4 weeks gone already and i feel like i just need to make a decision as soon as possible as i wouldnt like to terminate when the baby starts developing more if i was to have an abortion. Anyone have any similar stories or advice it would be much appreciated

 

Thanks :)

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mornin Jemima,

   Being pregnant is scarey, especially if it's not planned. An abortion is your choice, not mine, not your boyfriends or your parents and friends. You have an exciting social life, being pregnant doesn't have to stop your fun. But it sounds like you prefer the party life, i could be wrong. When you miss your birth control, you automatically run the risk of becomming pregnant, and in your case, that's exactly what happened. I know you are not ready and your right when you say that you have to make a decision sooner than later.

A baby is a wonderful addition to anyone's life and your fun times don't have to stop, they just need to slow down a little, i mean with the drinking. You can still go away with your friends and you can still attend these festivals, you just can't drink. Your parents sound like they would welcome a baby with open arms and i'm sure will be your number one babysitters. Life doesn't come to a halt just because a baby is on the way, really it doesn't. There will be plenty of time for a social life, you just need to slow it down for the next 8 months.

I had an abortion when i was younger and i still think about it. I wanted to go and do and drink and have fun, i didn't want to be saddled with a kid. But today i wish i didn't do it. I don't let it consume my every thought but i wonder how different my life would have been. I wonder if it was a boy or a girl, what did he/she look like? That child would have been 30 years old now. I was selfish and did not allow that perfect person to come into my life. Maybe it would have changed my life and maybe a lot of things may not have happened along the way, who knows, i will never know.

Enough about me. Listen, this is your life and your baby, you need to do what ever you feel that you need to do. If you decide to terminate the pregnancy, that's fine. I might suggest some counseling afterward for you. It is not a piece of cake, trust me. If you decide to allow this baby into your life, that's fine to. I can promise you that it won't be a mistake, and each time you look into the eyes of that beautiful baby, you will smile and you will feel good about yourself. You will know that you gave this child a life filled with love and happiness. All the negativity and doubt will totally vanish the second that you bring that child into the world. When the doctor places him/her in your arms for the first time, you will know that you made the right choice.

Good luck Jemima, and please let me know what you have decided. I am around here somplace if you want to talk.

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I went through an abortion exactly a year ago and have regretted it every single second of every day. I've been depressed, went through an alcoholic stage, and started treating myself like sh*t. This is my experience I'm entirely pro choice, its just this is something that I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for.
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