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I am nearly 7 weeks pregnant. i dont know what to do, this baby has been on my mind since i found out i was pregnant. this was a very unplanned pregnancy and i just dont know what to do. i am 22 years old and my boyfriend of roughly 4 and ahalf years wants nothing to do with this baby, he wants me to terminate this pregnancy asap. So i am very undecisive of what i want, i cant stand the fact of killing my baby but at the same time i am not ready for a child and the fact my partner has no intrest of wanting it im just lost as to what i should do as i would need his support if i were to keep it. I thought i had made up my mind (partly) that i wanted to proceed with abortion so i went to the doctors tonight (a few hours ago) and got the referal to a hospital, of course the doctor once again tried to talk me out of it and really wants me to think this through as he can tell abortion isnt truly what i want. The second i told the doctor i want to go ahead with abortion as we are not ready for a child i just started to cry and couldnt stop from them and have hardly stopped since i left that doctors clinic. I feel so terrible! I am heart broken when a dog or cat is euthanised at a pound who is pregnant (laws in australia state they must be euthanised for some rediculous reason) but im willing to kill my own flesh and blood..? i know if i proceed with this i will regret it forever and it will tear me up im sure of it. I need advice.. i have only told 2 people that i am pregnant so i havnt really talked my options through with anyone.. i just dont know what to do :(

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Unfortunately I'm not gonna give you and answer to this question because there is no answer. If I were you I would answer the following questions and base your decision on them.

1. Will your relationship with your boyfriend survive after the abortion anyway? Do not base your decision on the possibility that your boyfriend will leave you if you decide to keep it.

2. What are my financial options if I do decide to keep the baby? Look into centrelink benefits etc. The father may be legally obligated to support the child regardless of his feelings towards it.  

3. How much support will I receive from family and friends?

4. Could I consider open adoption? A chance to let your baby live and still get to know them when you're ready. I am certainly not going to judge someone for choosing abortion because all women have the right to choose the circumstances in which you have children, however as a person struggling with fertility issues I would suggest that your baby could bring alot of joy to this world for yourself or for someone who yearns to have children.

Make sure that your decision is as informed as possible. Research all options and then in 20 years you will not question whether or not there were other possibilities that you didn't consider. I really hope this helps. Please keep us informed and remember that you and only you can make this difficult decision.

Good luck with everything!

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If you're not ready for a baby and yet don't want to have abortion, one option is to put the baby for adoption. I'm sure there are a lot of people who want to adopt and who can provide a safe and loving home for that child.
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thanks for your opinions, i have booked in for termination next week. Heart breaking i know but if i were to keep this child to adopt it out i know i wouldnt be able to give it up. 
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Please don't let anyone judge you regarding this decision because everyone women has the right to choose. I can't imagine what you're going through at the moment. All I suggest is that you seek councelling to get you through it. No matter how you loose a baby, there is still a grieving process that you may need help with and don't be afraid to ask for help.

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I was asked too come into this conversation! So I hope you don't mind me butting in!?

I look at people ALL the time! And I listen and watch and IF there is one thing that is true EVERYTIME is the "Truth" is right infront of you! You need too know I AM prochoice, but I am NOT pro abortion (except in harsh circumstances - rape, incest, sickness, etc. etc.) I don't think anyone - of a right mind IS pro abortion! Too me that's crazy! Any way lets get back to what is "Right Infront of you!"

1. You have been with the same guy for 4 years yet he is NOT willing too have a child with you - most people are married and started a family after 4 years - granted you are young! BUT EVERYONE having sex knows that it is Russian Roulette, and after 4 years of having sex, there is BOUND too be at least once where you cut it close or there IS a pregnancy!

2. HOW did you get pregnant? Broken Condom! He doesn't like too wear condoms? You missed a pill? etc. It takes 2 too have a baby, so HOW did it happen?

3. Looking at your boyfriend - right now - do you love him? As the man that is DEMANDING you get an abortion - end of story - how has this affected how you view him? Was this expected - as there was NO way in Gods green earth he wanted children and is distant! OR is it a COMPLETE shock that he is reacting this way - and this is NOT like him too be SO distant and cold in his decision - not even talking it through or seeing if something can be done etc.

4. Being pregnant - even at the 1st trimester - is a HUGE thing too your body! Just because your brain and your surroundings are saying "Yeah you should get an abortion..." Doesn't mean THAT is what your heart wants nor your body! In ALL the years of having sex, you MUST have thought at least on one occasion "What would I do IF I became pregnant?" And also I am sure you have had at least 1 or 2 close calls - IF your period was delayed or you felt sick and your mind INSTANTLY went too thinking "What if" How did that "What If?!" End

5. Thinking of what you think of your boyfriend right now, is this going to be rectified after the abortion, or do you think it will get worse! As your heart WILL see him as the enemy! You know that expression - you hurt the ones you love - Well IF you go through with this abortion, your heart WILL hurt - this is natural! And your heart WILL blame him! And blame him harshly for hurting you so deeply! Can your relationship make it through the pain you WILL feel and blame him for?

6. He has EVERY right too say what HE feels! As he will know IF he is or is NOT ready for a child! And as a woman and a mother of two boys! I don't think ANYONE - on either side of the fence can MAKE someone either be a father, or for a woman to stop being pregnant! It is a VERY personal, and Private decision! And it is TERRIBLY hard! The ONLY question out of this for both of you is! "Is raising a child a Do-able act between us?" Also the ONLY question for yourself is "Can I raise this baby on my own IF he wants nothing too do with it?"

7. NO one makes an appointment too terminate a pregnancy with a happy heart honey! What you feel is a sense of loss - before the loss! And you need too know that this might REALLY come back and bite you! There are MANY women on here that have regretted TERRIBLY their decision! And there are also equal women that stated "it hurt, BIT it WAS for the best!"

8. Sit your boyfriend down and TALK! Tell him you have a heavy heart about this! And WHAT is going too happen too the 2 of you AFTER an abortion and what is going to happen too the 2 of you IF you decide too keep the baby!? Find out what is going on in his mind - and visa versa - tell him what's going on in your HEART! Also IF you are at ALL thinking about raising the baby by yourself! See IF there is ANYONE you can rely on too help you? I tell my boys ALL the time "IF you find out your girlfriends are pregnant, do NOT do something by yourself, come and talk too us 1st and foremost" My husband and I have already discussed and come to the agreement that IF either of our boys DO end up having a baby, we WILL help raise the child! We aren't going too be too happy - as we talk safe sex ALL the time - BUT at least it's out on the table! And I don't find out years later that they had their girlfriends have an abortion! So see IF your parents will help YOU with the baby! It takes a village to raise a child honey! And perhaps YOUR village would be MORE than willing too help you!

9. This is the most HONEST time of your life! NOTHING has to be left in your heart honey! As does his! You both need too come too a point of truth and accountability and also too decide AS a Couple! IF this can or can't work! And what is going too happen after! IF there is a distance now, believe me there will be a continents distance after! And can you guys survive it - either way!

I hope you do what is right for NUMBER 1 - the baby, NUMBER 2 - Your Heart, NUMBER 3 - You guys as a couple or a family!

Get it all out BEFORE the appointment! Because there is NO do overs on this - or - let's see and wait! Either decision is NOW or NEVER! BIG HUGS too you at this crossroads in your life! Just see where things lead in the next couple of days OK?

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I can't imagine what your going through right now, I feel for you. I'm 22 years old and I have had 2 unplanned pregnancies with the same father for 4 years. It's really hard to come to terms with at the start and you really do have alot of choices. By what I have read by your comments, it seems to me like your not happy with the decision of abortion. As the others said, even if you did have an abortion would you and your parner stay together? Or would you have so much held against him that you can't be together anymore? I have a son and another one on the way and I can garentee you that as soon as you carry your baby, give birth and spend your life with him/her you will never look back. I thought of abortion and thought it was the best thing as I was young but I couldn't be happier and couldn't imagine my life any other way. Babies are the most precious gift in the world and if you did decide to go through with your pregnancy I can promise you'll never regret it. My friend was in a simular situation where her partner didn't want anything to do with the baby and they broke up because she decided to have the baby. As soon as she was born and he saw his baby he couldn't walk away. There not together still but he has alot to do with the baby. Whatever you decide make sure it's what you really want. Abortion seems to affect the mother more than the father. I hope you've got alot of support around you because it sounds like you need alot of hugs. Keep us all updated :)

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I am kinda regretting logging onto this today and ready everything. I have already had it done, cried my heart out before and after the procedure once i woke up. I have been trying to keep busy by cooking, cleaning etc so im not thinking about it but now ive just had alittle sook after reading all this. In australia today is now saturday and i had it done wednesday. My boyfriend went and saw his doctor on the tuesday and when i got home from work he decides to tell me that its my choice and he doesnt want me to hate him for it but at the same time he still said he isnt ready for a child. My answer was im not going to wait any longer because if this child keeps growing in me theres no way id have it terminated, i knew that if i said well im keeping it he would have freaked and probably walked out and if i cancelled my appointment i would have to wait for another one. It was hard enough the build up to getting to this one. Well the baby is gone and i do feel a loss and my heart is hurting and i do regret it but at the same time i think i feel alittle relief as i was not ready for a baby. Someone asked if i have family that would have helped me.. My mum has MSSS and my father partially disabled so they need careres for themselves, my partners parents wouldnt have helped me at all. They are the kind of people that would agree with anything their child wants (they dotn even know i was pregnant). One thing i also regret is speaking to more people about it, i only told 2 other people; my boss and receptionist at work. They wernt much help to me at all, basically said its my choice. My doctor tried to talk me out of it and could tell that i wasnt 100% for abortion as could my gynacologist who did the procedure. When i had my consultation with ther on the tuesday the second she gave me the paper to sign i couldnt hold back the tears, knowing this is it. She even didnt think i wanted to go ahead with it. I think my relationship with my boyfriend will last.. i asked him last night if he has even thought about the baby since its been gone and he said of course and he also said his still worried im gonna blame him forever. The problem is my partner doesnt show his emotions, he keeps them held up inside so i never know what his really thinking.
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honey! You did what you HAD too do! We can't criticize you fro doing that! It will be hard for you - with your relationship - BUT at least you were both honest and you knew that you really didn't want too have a baby right now! And DON'T think of it like a lost baby! It WASN'T it was a Zygot/Embryo! This is the only way you will be able too deal with it! Do you know that MANY studies say that virtually ALL women have had a miscarriage in their lives - so it will appear as a heavy period, or a period out of the blue! And you need to think about it like this! It wasn't supposed too happen - it's just in this day and age (with vitamins etc it is more viable)! And you need to know that I don't think ANY woman getting an abortion does it with a happy heart! There is ALWAYS a "what if"? And another thing is this - you DO feel a little relief! So own that honey! Know that you weren't ready for this and you will miss the "what if?!" BUT I think you know what that "What if?" would had turned out too be! You both weren't ready and neither was your family! And also you have to be at ease with it and move on! And know that this is NOT the end! I have talked too MANY women/girls on here that ended up having abortions and then you should get a little something for yourself - like a little angel or even a little shrub (if you own the place) something too say that this WAS there for a brief moment! In years too come when you ARE ready, it will be different! BUT make this "worth it" (for lack of a better term) and what I mean by that is this! IF you were relieved, due to school, due to a job, etc. Then finish that school, get that job - so you know that this wasn't for nothing! BIG hugs honey! You did what you needed too do! PERIOD!
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