I'm 21, I work full time as a supervisor at a large company (paying for college without money from anyone's pocket but MY OWN), am very close to getting my bachelor's degree, which I have struggled and worked very hard for. I've volunteered, interned, and networked my ass off so I can get into a good Master's program. I've been on the pill for about 3 years now and have always been VERY meticulous about taking it correctly because I have always felt like having a child simply is not for me. My boyfriend also pulls out around 70% of the time. The statement "I don't like kids" does not sit well with me because I don't feel like it truly encompasses how I feel. I don't feel any sort of attachment or maternal desire when I see or interact with kids. However, I find myself 7 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend loves kids, but he is in no position of financial or mature stability to raise a kid and frankly, neither am I. If I didn't work full time, I'd be buried in student loans for a major that doesn't exactly bring in the big bucks. The government deemed my education unworthy of financial assistance (aside from loans...no thank you) because my parents make "enough" money however they do not support me in any way, so I am downright disgusted by the possibility of birthing a child and having the government "foot the bill", so to speak. I know that kind of "help" is out there, but I feel like it would force me to sacrifice whatever's left if I decide to go through with my pregnancy (which I didn't want and took methods to prevent in the first place). I know there's adoption, but I wouldn't be able to carry a baby to term and continue my life the way I need to continue it, for my own financial stability and my education. I also worry my boyfriend would become incredibly attached and be devastated when the time came to surrender the child to his or her new family. The thought of abortion really makes my skin crawl but it is what I'm leaning toward. I believe in a woman's right to choose, but it's so different when you're the one making the choice. I can't shake a sense of guilt and I haven't even scheduled an abortion. I keep telling myself that I did what I was supposed to to prevent a pregnancy, therefore I should have no reservations about an abortion, but I do. I've worked so hard to make something of myself outside of what people expect of me and I feel like with a child, we'd both sink. Has anyone out there been in a similar situation? Is there an angle I'm not seeing or am I missing a bigger picture?
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Hi Darling, i have read your post, and you most be feeling lost in making the right choice, Ok so let me tell you..having a baby isnt the end of the world its a blessing, if god didnt think you and ur partner were ready and didnt think it was the right time, he wouldnt of blessed you's with a miracle. To be honest no one is never fully ready to be a parent but people get through it together or alone. I fell pregnant at 18 had a gorgeous baby boy who is now 4, i could never imagine my life with out that kid. he is amazing the way he looks at me and talks to me and lifts me up when im down and says mommy i love you, i would never change it for the world.been a parent isnt easy but so worth it. I have a friend who has done an abortion last September, and she has regreted it straight after, till today sometimes she says if she could turn back time and just walk out the clinic, but it all happened to fast an there is no way bringing baby back, she was depressed for a long time an beating herself that she didnt keep it and didnt consider her babys needs nor her partner feelings, she instead was selfish an negative about the situation. Im none judgmental about it, but im just speaking from her experience, and just want to say, things could be worse u could be pregnant with no job no partner so count urself blessed and lucky. if u ever need to talk im a pm away would be more than happy to speak to you, after every dark tunnel there is a light so please keep positive about it and dont let ur homone get hold of u. hugs ur way x x x
Take care for now x x x
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thank you for your response. i know that having a baby is not the end of the world; perhaps in the future, i'd welcome it. but i feel like having a baby right now would be the end of MY world. and yes, my situation could be worse but sometimes i almost wish it was because i'd have nothing to lose. having this baby would mean i would be left without a job. how is that fair to either of us? i have worked so hard for what i've attained in my life..
i do fear i will regret it and i fear living in that kind of pain. it's the sort of thing that could really cripple my progress in life. i feel heartbroken either way
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Hey hun, what about ur partner does he work? i mean u might lose this job, but im sure u can get another job where they will indeed accept that u r pregnant, hun what ever u do please do not consider abortion, it is a terrible experience, once u have baby everything will indeed fall into place, i lost my job when i fell pregnant that because i was extermly sick all the time. but now i have a job and all worked out well i ended up splitting with my sons father, and he still sees him every weekend, and helps out when needed, things like that make u a stronger person trust me if u keep this baby u will be so happy u did. an u might even thank me,, lol not that i want u to but u know what i mean. do u go to church? i dont really but when im feeling low or need help i seem to turn to church an to god and some what it does help :) darling keep me posted hugs
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