5 Weeks ago i had a abortion,
I am 16 and it was an accident i fell pregnant,
when i told my boyfriend we was both shocked, part of me wanted to keep my baby but the other part didnt i think my boyfriend descided straight away what he felt like we should do.
He has said he had tried suporting me since we found out , to be honest he has but i feel like its just me feeling the pain.
I had dremas at night of being a mum , pushing a pram , being in hospital and feeling our baby for the first time. all the good thing you look forward to, i felt like my boyfriend didnt ever think like that, he didnt conncect with our baby like i did .
in the end we both desided to have a abortion , financial reasons really.
i cried and cried for days , i went for a consutation and i was 10 weeks pregnant, i went to 4 different people and my boyfriend wasnt aloud to come with me , he had to stay down stairs,
i booked to have my surgical abortion the week after and had to have genral anasthetic.
We got home and i kept asking what we should do , we kept changing our minds but in the end we said we need to.
so we went . he had to stay in the waiting room , and i had to be there from half 7 in the morning so he didnt have much to do, i left him to go upstairs i cried and cried i was so scared!
i got took into a ward but moved me down to another ward as the other one was full , for 2 hours i was in a ward on my own , not knowing what to do or think, wanting my boyfriend to be there with me.
i was shaking i was that scared.
i wen tinto theater and was put to sleep , when i woke up i was fine to be honest.
went back into the ward and just wanted to get home
it hadnot really hit me at that point.
got in my boyfriends car and he had got me some flowers. we went home and i was fine, it was only until a week after it started hitting me, killing me!
im feeling so guitly and angry , ive let my baby down, it didnt desrve that.
me and my boyfriend keep arguing becoz of my moods at the minute which i cant help.
i cant forgive my self , i have never felt so depresed or this low!
i cry my self to sleep every night.
have dream about my baby.
the other morning my boyfriend told me that i was sleep talking as if i was still pregnant and i was talking about what to name my baby girl and that we needed to get a cot bcoz shes going to be here soon. to hear him tell me this made me cry so much.
my boyfriend tries telling me it was the right thing to do but i hate it when he says it, i dont want to hear that, i want my baby back!
i cant move on from this or forgive my self or stop crying.
please any advise?
thankyou
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I had my daughter at age 15. Yes, she has changed my life so much for the better and I love her to death but just think of everything you would have to give up. I have NO free time and my boyfriend just ditches me with her sometimes. I can't catch a break and it sucks. You won't have to worry about "Oh, do we have enough money for our next pack of diapers?" or anything like that. Sometimes it's just what you have to do and you need to think about all the things that will be better about your life because your are the one and only thing you really need to worry about. To be truthful, I had an abortion after I had my daughter she was around one and a half. I didn't want to get an abortion that much but I knew I had to I couldn't stand thinking about my parents yelling at me all over again because I haven't done anything with my life since my first daughter I didn't want to worry about the financial part and I didn't want to worry about having two kids I don't think I could do it. I love my daughter and I feel bad because I feel like wow that could have been my daughter you know? But it was for the best and I barely think about it anymore. :/ you have to think about the pros about not having a baby
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i feel the same
I'm 17 and had an abortion a few days ago , i just can't cope now i feel so empty and guilty i was 8 weeks pregnant and at the time this seemed like the right option for me in my life. It was an unplanned pregnancy and when i told the guy he left me and didn't want too know. When i found out i was pregnant i decided too go along with the pregnancy as i had always been against abortion and still believe a baby is a gift from god and only god should only be able to decide life. After weeks of sleepless nights and loads of discussion with my family i realized that i was just not ready and decided too go through with an abortion even if in my heart i didn't want too. Now that it's over not only the physical pain i feel so emotional. Today i just broke down crying that all i want it my baby back. I am aware that at 8 weeks the fetus hadn't developed a nervous system , spinal cord or brain activity so i feel relieved that it didn't feel any pain or wasn't aware of anything. But i still feel so empty now and guilty everyone keeps telling me it was the best decision for my life and career but just the fact that this was what i created a innocent life and it's gone now i just can't cope. I'm a strong person but i keep breaking down and having nightmares also flashbacks. I just regret it so much now i'm not a bad person but i'v done such a horrible thing. I feel no one understands me right now. All i want is my baby back i keep holding my stomach as if it's still there.
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I know it's been two months since your post but I was just wondering how you were doing. I know you posted this at your most emotional because your hormones are trying to adjust. Right now I'm going through the same thing. It's been 3 days since mine and all I can think about are my babies and how I didn't give them a chance. I know it'll get better as I really hope it has for you because right now this sucks. I'm not being a very good mother, partner and I'm uninterested in school or work. Has your nightmares or flashbacks gotten any better. Your not a bad person but sometimes with society we do what seems best and sometimes it really hurts to do that. I'm twice your age have other children and I'm having troubles adjusting, I hope the best for you.
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Mia1978. Just saw your post and I am in the same exact situation as you. I'm struggling so hard right now. I feel like such a bad mom for not giving this baby a chance. I had no idea I would fall apart like this. So glad to find some who is the same situation. I'm hurting do bad right now.
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I'm 17 years old. I come from a horrible back ground that I won't get into. I'm a senior in high school that had a choice to graduate early because I was ahead on credits. But I started dating this guy in July and decided I was going to finish out my seniour year with him. He is absolutely the love of my life. I was on the pill and ended up pregnant. I was 5 weeks when I figured out I was pregnant. It's been 4 days sence I've done my abortion. And I hate myself. I don't feel as if I deserve to be alive. My boyfriend gave me the choise on what I wanted and said he would suport me in what ever I wanted. But after seeing him breaking down over my pregnancy and having everyone else expect me to get an abortion I put all their feelings ahead of my own. And now all I can think is how I let my baby down. He that little child in me was depending on me and I killed it. An all I want so badly is to tell my baby I love them. And to hug them to me and never ever let go. I want so badly for my baby in heaven to know that I did this for them. So that she wouldn't have to go through what I had to go through having q teen mom and a dad that wasn't ready for me at all. I just want him or her to know that I love them that much to go through hell every day when I look at my altra sound picture and regret everything I've done. I just want this pain to go away. I just want to be whole again. And I want anyone to know that is feeling this way. Ur not alone. And I want to let anyone know that is thinking about abortion to really sit down and think it through. Make a list of all te reasons why this would benifit ur baby. So that later when u feel like I do, u can reflect on why u did this and hopeful feel better about ur desision. I love u all. No matter who u are.
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I had an abortion at 15 weeks exactly 2 months ago. I had to go through the same thing as you and wish i could go back in time and change everything but i can't. I even want to have another baby but my boyfriend wants me to go to school and finish college first. I know i sound stupid but i feel like me being pregnant again will make me feel better and give me the motivation i had before i was pregnant.
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