Hi everyone,
I know a lot of people don't share updates, so I just wanted to share mine as I know how scary it is to be in this situation. Sorry I'm not the best at making this exciting or to-the-point, but here is my story. I had one more scare after what I posted 8 months ago. After taking a bath with my guy friend, I found a boyfriend and we became sexually active =/ He was the second person I'd ever been with, so even after it was obvious he was really mean/crazy, I stayed with him anyway. I finally left him, left the country, and went off the birth control pill.
Update to guy friend situation: My period came after I built up enough courage to buy a hpt. That night, in fact.
Update to boyfriend situation: Since we actually had intercourse, I was extremely fearful this time. My boyfriend had turned out to be not a very nice person...Since tbh, he had forced himself on me on the 3rd date, I stayed with him because I wanted to marry the 2nd person I was with. Wellll, the 3rd date should have been a red flag, but I denied it. We stayed together 6 months. I finally realized we were two different kinds of people, there was no changing him and no changing me. I broke up with him and finished my last pack of pills. My period came, but I read that still didn't mean I was in the clear.
For the past two months since breaking up, I took 3 hpts...around 1.5 weeks apart each time. Each test was negative, but unlike in the guy friend situation, this time my period still hadn't come. After researching about false negatives I became even more freaked out. I had no symptoms of pregnancy, except for my growing stomach -- I was eating until I was sick every night due to the stress of this, school, and being in a new country. On a regular basis I was having dreams where my period was coming, but when I woke up there was nothing there yet. I started thinking maybe my stomach was growing because I was pregnant. I thought my nipples looked darker perhaps, and today I started thinking something was kicking in my stomach o_o
In the country I live in now, abortions are ILLEGAL after 3 months -- meaning you should know by 2.5 months if you are pregnant and hurry to schedule an appointment. I was really freaked out thinking what I would do if the pregnancy tests were false negatives. I don't want to have a kid with my ex, nor do I want to marry him. Also, abortions are super expensive *_* I realized so many things:
-If you know a relationship isn't working out, but you are staying (and having sex) because you want to "fix" it or don't want to feel dirty, just screw those feelings and LEAVE. Don't stay any longer and risk getting pregnant. The longer you stay, the higher the risk.
-Unless you are engaged/married, use TWO forms of birth control every time! Such as the pill and a condom
-As for condoms, use one until you have been with your partner a long time and are sure he/she is honest/std free/will be by your side if you get pregnant. I thought I could trust my ex from the get-go, but he ended up being a pathological liar with a really bad sexual past. If he had an std and lied about it, I could have been infected. Even though he had 2 std tests, he didn't directly show me any results except the AIDS one. Basically, remember that it's not just people who sleep around who get things like HIV! It can happen to you when you lose your virginity even so be careful!! Make sure to get him/her/you tested before sex (you can get stds the first time), although even if you did have sex before...still get a test because you could have gotten lucky so far and just not gotten anything.
-AIDS and genital herpes are a LOT scarier than pregnancy! At least if you get pregnant, you can abort. Even if it is too late to abort, you can adopt out your child. Maybe you will even decide having a kid is right for you. Whatever the case, some STDs are FOR LIFE!
If you get AIDS, you can only (morally) have sex with other AIDS people (tiny dating pool). If you get genital herpes, you also have to worry about infecting other people as well. Not only that, who wants to have sex with a girl with pimples/blisters all over her vagina? So plsss everyone, be careful!
-Don't jump into relationships. If a guy doesn't want to wait, then find someone else. Patience is a virtue right?
-If the guy you are with wants to have sex, but you still don't want to get pregnant, practice the above:
-std tests
-two forms of birth control
-make sure you can afford an abortion if necessary, and understand the abortion laws etc. in your country/state/etc. If your boyfriend/husband is a lot older than you (the guys I date are usually 10+ years older for instance) or makes a lot more money, ask him to put money into your account in case you ever need it for an abortion. That way, even if you get into a fight and break up, but end up pregnant...you at least don't have to worry about the money.
Anyway, sorry for the lecture and how long this post it. I just want to share everything I've learned and experienced to hopefully help comfort/help for future situations for other people in this kind of scary situation. >.< My conclusion is that today I bought icecream bars to help with my depression over this whole situation (thinking as usual, "Oh no, what am I going to do!? If only I had followed the above advice!") I came home and ate 5 icecream bars, and started to feel better. I completely forgot about my stress for a few minutes...Then I felt something come out of me!! I had this happen many times before, but it was only excess discharge...had been happening a lot recently. I checked as usual, and it was finally BLOOD!!! :D Really relieved *phew*
So yeah, I have to go to the store now and buy some pads :))) Hope this helps other people. Good luck and I hope the best for everyone else in this situation!
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