Me and my Guy are friends for over 4yrs and in relationship past 2 years. We are the same age. He has shifted to my country for work and for being together. He has problems ever since we started ,about my friends. I left everyone for him right from my childhood friends. and since i shifted to this new country i have hardly any one to talk. He says he loses his"importance" when i have other friends. also if i look around he says I'm stalking at guys. When I'm not. Only my heart knows it. He feels i should just look at him and talk. If i don't text him for 2 mins he says i was busy being with someone else. I have to explain it ti him that I'm working and not enjoying in my office.He expects me to be with him on holidays when i feel i should give my family some time. I always meet him after work for coffy or something.He checks my mobile and gets angry if i talk to any male friend. While i just keep in touch with my friends from home country. He needs proof that i don't start the conversation but my friends.I don't want to leave him because i love him. But he never understands me. He never is on my side. he will always scold me first and then in a rude way tells me that what i do is wrong. If i say i feel a man is staring at me, he will say its my fault. Never does he say i look good. Even on the new years eve i spent quality time getting dressed up for a party he didn't say a word.i feel i'm not his kind.Yes, I'm over weight but not that much. I feel since he has come to this place he has changed.Every evening as the sun sets we fight. I fight because he puts wrong blames on me and he fights to just prove him right. I tell its not my fault he will say" OK OK You just want to be right,." while m crying inside please understand. Nothing happens. I call him back all the time even if its my mistake. He too calls up. But doesn't ask what happened what went wrong he calls up so that we can forget and move on again together. But its all in me. The wrong accuses, the misunderstanding, the lowness he makes me feel.
i fear its time to let go. I can't give up on this relation because i have fought with my parents and everyone but i feel its just two years down the line and i have gone through too much.
PLease help...I'm losing my mind. My Mom expects me to get married as I have done my masters and its time to marry while he says 4 years is the minimum we have to wait till he gathers some wealth and stuff
It's always tough giving someone advice about his/her relationship when you don't know either person and olnly have one point of view. However, if the relationship is going the way you describe it then I'm afraid you have no choice but to leave him.. The issue of jealousy is real and very unhealthy. The emotion of jealousy is a due to a lack of trust in your relationship.
In my opinion, he was wanted to be with you long before you got together. You say you were friends the first two years before you started dating but once you did get together he got jealous and it cost you all of your friends. This doesn't happen with people who were friends this long before dating. It's reasonable to believe that if he was your friend for two years that he knew your other friends as well. And, if you two weren't together then it's likely that you were all mutual friends.
These are just scenerios that make sense to me. The only thing I'm almost certain of is that something held you guys back from becoming a couple before the two year mark. Once again, only speculating but I'd bet that one of you if not both were involved with somone else during this time. Given the fact that he is the jealous one I'm thinking that you had a boyfriend during this time. If you slept with the current guy and remained with the boyfriend or even visa versa, him having a girl then I suggest that the trust will never be there. That's why the beginning of a relationship is the most important element. It's the foundation and as with any structure, it must be rock solid to build on.
Thank this was very useful. Yes it is very true I did like a guy but we didn't have a relationship. He was in a different state and I was in a different one. We just met a coupla times. and he was elderly and matured. He never touched me. He was understanding and always made things simple for me. We only spoke on phone and we never fought. We could have been the bestest of friends. All my girl friends knew him. They even caled him up and chatted it they had any issues in life. It was fun having him around.Even my current guy. We actually began me and my guy and I used to still feel very uncertain about him. The fights and all. told my guy i needed time not because I loved this friend but i wanted to be alone. Stuck. I had really found a very good friend but I had to let go off things. Finding it difficult to trust. I told him. He was angry I didn't want to hurt him. I really didn't want to be dishonest with him or my feelings. Looking at his growing discomfort i have deleted this friend and all of his friends from all my contact wherever possible. Still no trust. When he had already lost himself to a girl before meeting me. He had several girls. He was like Casanova. I never knew i would fall for him. And even that we would get this far. I trusted him and he has done everything to keep the trust. But my one mistake and its hurting me everyday. Killing me inside just because I told him the truth. I have even got this topic out. I have asked him is it that guy you don't trust me? I will stop trying i will give up. He said i dont get the past in the middle. Then why all these questions? why can't i just be normal.
I was really a Tomboy all my school and college time and now i have just transformed myself to a girly girl..for him.he never noticed. He never notices anything about me. Its like an arranged marriage and we have to like each other and love each other on a given set of rules. I'm on a sent mode not talking to him past wo days again for the same reason..isn't there anything else i could to do to save this relation:((
Gosh i just have written my feelings down. Its been 2yrs for anyone to understand me this way. Thank you soo much..whereever yu are God bless you.