Virgin or No?

Hi Nycole,

You are no longer a virgin.  As soon as his penis entered your vagina you lost your virginity.

It doesn't mean your hymen is torn and you may still bleed.

Doesn't your hymen determine virginity? And will I bleed voluntarily? Or during sex?

Technically, no. Your hymen does NOT determine virginity. It can be torn by many, non-sexual, activities such as horse-back riding for example, or gymnastics. It may or may not be intact.

You lose virginity when a penis goes into your vagina. Once that happens, and it doesn't matter how far, you are no longer technically a virgin.

Not all women bleed during sex, first time or ever. You might and there is a good chance.

No, not a virgin.

Hi nycole, I am concerned when you say you felt oressure. Do you mean physical pressure or was he pressuring you to have sex? It is not ok for anyone to pressure a person into sex. It is your body and your choice. You have the right to say yes or and he needs to respect that. All the best and take care.

I meant to.say you have the right to say yes or no. Sorry if I confused you.

Nycole,

Technically NO you are no longer a virgin. You haven't had "sex" though (in the full sense of the word) - just an exploratory encounter with a boy.

Pressure and a bit of pain is perfectly normal during you first sexual encounters - so don't think too much of that.

What you do need to think about is how you will go forward from here.

When you do decided to have a full sexual encounter - here's what you need to know:

1. It should be completely consensual the entire time. Make sure that you KNOW you are ready, not just curious. Curiousity can wait. Don't have sex because you feel pressured by a boy or because he tells you that it's what he wants. Do what you know is right for you. You have your whole life ahead of you and choices you make now will affect that life.

2. Talk to someone about birth control (your sex ed teacher, school nurse, doctor or even your parents if you feel okay about that). Teenage preganancy is not a preferred direction.

3. Always be sure he uses a condom - even if neither of you are experienced with others. Condoms keep you both safe from viruses and std's. They do NOT prevent pregnancy though - so be cautious.

4. Your first sexual encounter may not be all that pleasant - or it might be. The younger you are, the least pleasurable it will be. Waiting until mid-teens is actually a good thing for your body, because your sexual organs are better developed. 12 to 14 year old girls may not have as good an experience.

5. As odd as it sounds, emotional maturity is what makes sex beautiful. In your early teens the boys in your school are desperate to experience sex - not to fall in love. Girls usually attach deep emotional feelings to the experience and get broken hearted when they realize the boy doesn't want to talk to them the next day or after a week.

So don't be afraid to guard your heart and keep it for awhile until you meet a boy you know cares deeply about you. ...the only way to tell, btw, is when you meet a boy who will wait until you are completely ready.

Good post Girlnextdoor but I beg to differ on #3.

Condoms DO protect against pregnancy. However, like everything they need to be used properly. That means BEFORE there is ANY sexual contact. He also needs to know how to put them on and remove them properly, yes there is a correct way.

Used properly condoms are very effective, it can be up to about 98%, but it depends upon the user.

FYI, NO birth control is 100% effective, NONE. Only abstinence is.