More Ways to Boost Self-Motivation

Step 5: Be an Enthusiastic Learner

Children model the behaviour of their parents. If you want your kids to be enthusiastic about school, make sure you are an enthusiastic learner, too.

Does that mean you have to go on college courses, and watch Open University programmes at two in the morning? You can (although for the sake of a sound sleep, I'd record the Open University). However, being an active and enthusiastic learner doesn't have to take place in a classroom:

• Have books in your home: have them everywhere and (with obvious exceptions) accessible to small and curious hands
• Take your child to museums and galleries, and make it clear that you enjoy being there
• Share your hobbies with your children: music, photography, politics, history 
• If you have a question, look it up with your child (on the internet or in an encyclopaedia). Show you can love learning at any age.

Step 6: Relate Real-World Learning to What Your Kids Learn at School

Education can seem so remote to a child. "Why do we need to know about history?" "What's the point of physics?" "Why-oh-why do we have to learn trigonometry?"

Applying engaging, real-world experiences to your child's education could help your child recognise the value of their education.

Ideas include:

• Take a trip to the beach and study seahorses and crabs when your child's class is studying marine life (don't forget to have an ice-cream).
• Take a trip to a living history museum if your child is studying the appropriate period in history. There are some excellent ones. Ideas include [see links]:
  • Beamish Open Air Museum, North-East England, UK - History in England from the 1820s - 1940s
  • Black Country Living Museum, West Midlands, UK - History from 1850s - 1950s
  • The Buffalo Niagara Heritage Museum (formerly the Amherst Museum), Amherst NY, USA - 1840s - 1880s
  • The Jamestown Settlement Living History Museum, Virginia, US - 17th century
• Relate things your child is learning to your child's personal experiences or family history:
  • "Grandma came to the USA, just like the first settlers on the Mayflower did, except she came in the 1930s. How do you think Grandma may have felt?"
  • "Do you think the lion in the wildlife park looks like the one in your natural history book?"
• Get your child involved in cooking and craft projects to show how maths can be applied in real-world situations, and grow a tomato plant or some watercress together to show how principles of biology work.
• Take a trip to the theatre to see a play your child is learning. Ask your child what they thought of the directors' choices (staging, lighting, costumes); would they have staged it differently?
• When a child's learning about another culture, go to a restaurant that serves food from that culture (or make some yourself at home), and read about the country and its history on the internet.
• Visit a museum, and see a dinosaur up close when your child's learning about evolution.

Step 7: Let Your Child Have Some Control

Research shows that children who have more freedom to decide their learning are more motivated, and are better studiers, than children whose parents schedule and dictate their every moment.

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That doesn't mean you should allow your children to do whatever they wish. But you should allow your children permission to make choices from within a selection that you find equally appropriate:

• Will they do their homework as soon as they get home from school, or have a snack first?
• Which book would they like to read before bed, and would they like to read to themselves or have you read to them?

Also, permit your child to choose the natural consequences, should they not do what they promise. Pushing a consequence onto a child will always be less-effective than a consequence your child chose.

• Say your child had chosen to do their homework after a snack. Work with your child to decide what would be the most appropriate consequence if your child chose not to do their homework for one day (perhaps not to play their game for one evening, or to miss 30 minutes of TV the next night),or an appropriate consequence should your child not choose to do their homework for several days (perhaps the removal of their games console for several days, or removing the TV from their room).

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Step 8: Encourage Security

Remember, as your child's parent, you are their base. You are their launching-pad, from which they will go out and explore the world. So, give your child a solid, supportive ground.

Your child needs to know that you are always be there for them, and that they can go out and tackle challenges, knowing that you will be the person they can always return to for reassurance and help, no matter what.

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In order to maintain this strong, loving relationship, which supports motivated children:

• Let your child know you love them, just as they are. Your love is not predicated on their success. Your child must have room to try and fail, and pick themselves up and try again.
• Support all your child's (legal) hobbies. Even if you love ballet, and always dreamed your child would be the next Margot Fonteyn, don't hesitate to sign them up for rock guitar, fun with trigonometry, or rugby if that's where their heart's desire lies. Make it clear that your love is unconditional, not based on academic achievements, hobbies, or other successes. You may not understand them, but difference is the spice of life.
• Don't put pressure on your child to achieve certain results. Don't compare your children to siblings or friends, or expect them to get certain results (As or Bs, for example). Instead, tell your child that, if they "try their best", you can't help but be proud of them. And be sure to note any improvement in their results:
  • "You've really got the hang of multiplication now."
  • "You've mastered the I-before-E rule."
• Help your child to accept failure. Sometimes, children will fail. That's a given. We all do. The most important thing is how they face failure. Sometimes they will come last in sports' day, or the poem they worked really hard on will not even get a mention in the school competition. If that happens, be a model of acceptance. Tell your child that the most important thing is that they tried, and that they learned good lessons doing it. And teach how to shake hands with the winner and be a good sport.
• Understand how your child feels. Children can feel that their parents have no idea how they feel (after all, their parents have never been children before!). Let your children know that you understand how they feel. If your child is wriggling because it's a sunny day and they'd rather be playing outside than doing their homework, say: "I know it's tough to be inside when it's so nice out. But look, you've just got a few questions left and then you've finished your homework. Then you can play until dinner, like we agreed."

These eight ways can help your child grow in motivation, recognising the value and the fun to be found in education. By preventing education becoming a chore and helping your child grow their intrinsic motivation, you're getting them off to a great start in life.