Suicide And Teenagers: What Are The Causes And How Can We Prevent Adolescents From Dying To Suicide?

Adolescence is probably the most complicated and intense life stage all of us have experienced. Even if we put aside the fact that the body goes through tremendous changes (and we really shouldn't), this is the point in life when a person starts developing their identity, and figuring out their role in society.

People start becoming more aware of themselves, and aware of others, during adolescence. They start thinking about how they should develop as a person, and which path to take in life, creating a concept of an "ideal self", and a concept of the "feared self" they would, hypothetically, become, if they chose the wrong path. A person of this age wants to form their own identity, separate from their parents — and fashion, music, and bonding with other people who feel the same way help them with that.

At this point in life, a person also starts recognizing their sexual orientation. Now, try to remember how it was for you. There a bunch of questions you feel like you should already know the answer to, but in no way are you experienced enough to figure those answers out.

Why do people commit suicide?

This question is not easy to answer. Many factors can influence a person's decision to commit suicide. Mental conditions, substance abuse, stress, loss of a loved one, or even bullying can make a person think that the only way out is by ending it all. Almost 800,000 people die of suicide each year, which accounts to 1.5 percent of deaths annually, worldwide. 

In another article, I wrote about my fight with depression, and although I was never suicidal, I know what loss of pleasure in life, and anxiety, feel like.

Imagine waking up, going to work, coming back home, sitting down and thinking — it's gonna be like this forever. The times when nice things happened to me have passed, and I've got nothing to look forward to. It's gonna be like this, over and over, until I die.

Now, different people cope with the same problems differently. For me, I had ways of switching my attention to other things, but some people can't do that. They feel overwhelmed, and they feel like there's nobody they can ask for help, or even worse, they fear being ridiculed. The worst thing you can do to a depressed or suicidal person is to blame them for being selfish, because other people have it worse.

Believe me, depressed people already hate themselves for being like that, and they low-key already know that something isn't right. And being condescending towards them is in no way helpful. 

What you should always keep in mind is that depressed people usually don't look depressed. Or, to put it differently. the way in which pop culture has portrayed depressed people for decades is just one of the faces of depression, rarely shown to others. It's how depressed people look and feel when they're alone.

Often times, in public, they're smiling, cracking jokes, and maintaining an active social life. Several people I knew took their own lives. None of them looked or acted depressed. In fact, I had a beer with one of them a few days before he hanged himself, and not one detail made me think that he was about to do what he did. 

Stress affects us all, and in no way do tragic events pick a perfect time to happen. They just happen.

And introverts have it worse. Imagine being bullied at school each day, and not being able to talk to anybody about that. Imagine the dread of waking up each morning, knowing that you're going to be tortured, either physically or emotionally, and that there's nobody that could help you. And the fact that you had it easier (as I did, because I was able to fight back), doesn't mean that everybody can do that, and that those problems should be dismissed as nonsense.

Some adolescents go through their parents' divorce really badly. Some adolescents have a problem accepting their sexual orientation, especially if the family and the environment doesn't accept being anything other than straight. Whatever the reason might be, some people might try to self-medicate with alcohol and other substances, which may also lead to increased risk of self-harm. Access to firearms, and family history of suicide, are also risk factors. 

I had it easy: I'm a straight, white, extroverted, middle class male who's strong enough to defend himself. If you changed just one of  those factors, things would've been completely different for me.

When teenagers feel depressed and suicidal: What can I do?

If you're a parent, a friend or a relative of an adolescent, just talk to them. Don't preach. Listen. Give them the opportunity to express their concerns, and try to come up with the solutions to their problems together. Everybody is unique, and the circumstances surrounding each person are different.

Help a teenager going through a rough patch figure stuff out on their own. And always be there if they ask for any kind of help. What might sound trivial to you, might be a huge problem to somebody else. Accept them for who they  are, and let them try different approaches at life. Eventually, things will work out. But you'll have to give it time. 

If you're an adolescent, regardless of whether you're contemplating suicide, or not, just try and talk to somebody. Every now and then, it seems like there's no one who cares, and that you're alone with your problems. It really isn't like that. I felt totally alone when my parents died; my whole world crashed. So, naturally, I hit the bottle, which helped me feel sort of OK for short periods of time.

I had problems falling asleep, and was constantly tired, never enjoyed anything, isolated myself from my friends. I never was suicidal, maybe because I was actually afraid of dying, and because I had a quote from a song of my favorite band in my head all times: "suicide isn't painless when you leave everyone in pain" (NOFX - Door nails).

And at one point, I started getting therapy. It was a year ago, and I cannot describe how different things are now. I rediscovered the things which brought me joy, got a girlfriend, got a couple of pay raises, and, all in all, got back on track. I reached out. Things won't change on their own, no matter how hard doing something about it might sound.