They Are Liars And Manipulators

Narcissists are masters of manipulation and they are pathological liars. In order to keep this machinery running smoothly, the narcissist constantly has to be pulling all the strings. All communication has to take place through him.

You have been dating your narcissist for several months now and met his sister, who shares many interests with you, at the very beginning of the relationship. You’re not allowed to friend her on Facebook or to call her on the phone.

Every time you want to see her, he tells you she’s too busy for you, or that you simply make her feel uncomfortable. What you don’t know is that he’s been telling her that you are jealous of her and the special sibling relationship they enjoy, which is why you hate her. Divide and conquer is the name of that game. The first time you two meet alone, all the seemingly needless lies and manipulations will instantly surface.

Narcissists Lack Empathy

You will listen to her drone on endlessly about her weight issues, that time the cab driver disrespected her, or how no one truly appreciates her genius and talents at work. If you think she will reciprocate when your mother is diagnosed with terminal cancer, think twice. She will make it abundantly clear that she’s bored out of her skull if you start actually answering the question “So, how’s your mother?” she asked only to seem like a decent person.

A narcissist can sometimes fake empathy, but they are unable to truly feel it. Do his reactions to your problems sound like trite clichés? Are they at times completely inappropriate, especially if he hasn’t had time to prepare them in advance? Or does he even seem to side with those hurting you? You likely have a narcissist on your hands, especially if his "oh, that's soooo terrible" is followed by a rant about his first world problems, which are obviously worse than your actual problem.

They Are Envious Of Others' Successes

He clearly can’t stand it when anyone anywhere is better than him at anything. He’ll sneer, invent flaws, and gossip. He will do anything to make himself feel better. Maybe Bill’s salary is slightly higher, but that’s only because he’s unethical and sucks up to the boss, and, besides, his wife is leaving him for another man. She is certain everyone is jealous of her because she’s so skinny, and has a rich husband, and her children go to the best schools.

A narcissist’s world is a hierarchical one, where one can only envy or be envied. Life isn’t worth living if he’s not among the latter, and he’ll use all his capacities for denial and projection to avoid placing himself among the former.

Too Good To Be True

He has impressed you with his fascinating careers and his interesting life story. During the day, he works at a university, where he is very highly esteemed by the greatest experts. At night, he becomes part of an elite crime-fighting squad. In reality, he’s a librarian by day and a bouncer by night. Does your new boyfriend embellish and idealize every aspect of his life in an effort to make himself sound better than perfect? Run like hell, before he makes your life hell the moment he realizes you are not ideal and, worse still, that you don’t see him as ideal.

If he seems too good to be true, he probably is.

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are perfectly painted shells of a human being. Look under the hood, and you'll soon find out that nothing's inside. Nothing but pain, that is.