How to Spend Quality Time with your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Find the time to have fun together and enjoy each other

I’ve have dealt with this situation in my own life, in my children’s life, and have presented countless ideas to folks whom come to me for advice on this very subject.  There just never seems to be enough time and when there is time you both are exhausted from work or have other obligations and there never seems to be the time to spend real quality time together.  The key here is to understand the word “quality”; it generally supersedes quantity of time by a large margin. 

Here are some things that might help to find the time to have fun together.

• Make an actual date

Set a day and make your plans and just go out and have fun; or stay in and have fun.  Turn off your phones and let the rest of the world do its thing while you do yours.

• Play hooky

Use a sick day or a vacation day and spend the entire day together.  I don’t suggest you do this often, but once in a while it’s always good to sometimes be bad.  You earned your vacation and sick days; why not use them?

• Prioritize

Relationships are a lot of work but if you are committed to this relationship you need to make it a priority in your life.  That means sometimes you might have to skip that game of golf with your buddies or skip that shopping trip you planned.  It’s important to not assume your mate always understands when you make these other commitments; sometimes making a bit of a sacrifice from doing those other things so you can spend time with your mate can make all the difference in the world.

Your Life and Their Life

A big mistake couples make when they get into a committed relationship is that they forget that they are still two separate individuals.  You both have your own set of friends, things you enjoy doing, and obligations to meet.  Often one person in the relationship will feel neglected because they don’t understand this concept; it’s a very important concept to understand if you want the relationship to work.  You can’t be joined at the hip every minute of the day; you have to find that common ground and begin there.  This doesn’t mean, however, that just because you both have separate lives means you can put your mate off with an excuse that you have to tend to one thing or another that might not be an emergency.  You have to find the harmony in the relationship as a couple and as individuals.  You can still spend that quality time together while enjoying your individuality. 

• Take your mate with you

If you have plans to play golf, for instance, take your girlfriend with you to ride along and share that time with you.  This helps her to be introduced to your friends in a casual setting and will make her feel special for asking her to join you.
If you have planned a lunch date with some of the girls you work with, invite your boyfriend to come along so he can meet your friends.  He may feel a bit out of place among the girls, but this will show him you want to include him in the time you spend with your friends.

• Plan a small party

Invite a few friends from each of your lives and possibly even some family members; this is a good example of sharing time together and incorporating your individual friends and family into each other’s lives.  Keep the party small by just inviting those friends and family members that you are closest to.  Having too many people may be too over-whelming for both of you. 
Quality time doesn’t necessarily mean you have to spend time alone; it means spending time doing the things together that you can enjoy doing together.  Bringing each other’s individuality into the relationship and sharing your common likes is a very good way to spend quality time together.

Quality Time and Intimacy

This is a subject you really can’t not talk about; it needs to be addressed as intimacy in relationships is important; not mandatory, but important.  When couples lead very busy lives with work and other obligations, intimacy tends to get put on the back burner.  Mind you, I’m talking about couples whom have been in their committed relationships past the “new and exciting” part of new relationships when every chance they got they found the time and energy for intimacy.  As relationships grow the need or that strong desire for intimacy tends to lessen and couples spend less time being intimate due to exhaustion from work or other obligations.  However, I do feel it is important that when you do get the chance to have an intimate evening together that you take full advantage of it and make it special.  Need some ideas?  Here are a few I have found very useful.

• Share a romantic bath

Romance isn’t just about the sexual act; it’s all the things leading up to that moment.  Sharing a bath together will set the tone for a very loving and intimate evening together.  Be sure to turn off your phones and if you must, put a “do not disturb” sign on your front door.

• Massage

Using essential oils such as lavender, which tends to be relaxing, give each other sensual and gentle massages.  This will relax you both and add to the intimacy even more.

• Making love

Take your time and make the act of sexual intimacy memorable and special.  Each partner should be concerned about pleasing the other; when this happens the intimacy is almost a spiritual event; when you are so in tune with your partner you will both feel as though the world had stopped revolving just for you.

Just because we live very busy and hectic lives, it doesn’t mean you can’t find the time to spend quality time with your mate; you just have to make time, make plans, prioritize your obligations, and enjoy each other.