Be Aware Of Other People's Attitudes

Everyone has one — a person they feel they can't possibly avoid during the holidays, but whom they really dread seeing. It may be your older sister who always brings up past hurt, or the teenage nephew who is really rude, or the drunk uncle who is being a bit too familiar. If you are particularly unlucky, your dread extends beyond one person and your whole family dynamics are so messed up you either want to kill yourself or someone else.

You can control how much money you spend, and decide whether or not to host a Christmas party. Unfortunately, the same does not apply to crazy or simply unpleasant relatives. What can you do, then, to alleviate your feelings of stress and anxiety surrounding your approaching encounter with such people?

In my opinion, the only way to deal with this semi-successfully is to be fully aware of both the dreaded individual's behavioral tendencies and your own feelings about it. My example is a cousin who always picks fights — about how shallow other people are who are not currently into Buddhism like her, or about my decisions on how to educate my kids, or even (still) about my choice of husband.

I know what she is like, have the argument I've had with her before in my head instead, and then avoid engaging my cousin when she does inevitably start on the war path. You can even practice positive affirmations in advance. “Arguing is pointless,” or “they're the crazy one, not me”, or perhaps “tomorrow they'll be gone and I won't see them for another year.”

If You Are Lonely... Reach Out

For every person who is currently experiencing heart palpitations because the thought of seeing certain relatives is so stressful, there is another who would love anybody's company during the holidays. The thought of spending Christmas all by yourself can be extremely upsetting.

If this is you, I bet there are some options for you in your neighborhood. You could bake cookies and deliver them to all your elderly neighbors. You could volunteer at a shelter for the homeless. You could visit a long-lost friend or relative, and do yourself and them a favor.

Perhaps that doesn't appeal to you, or you don't have anyone you feel you could reach out to. In that case, try to see if you can work during the holidays. This will make your experience a lot less depressing. If you don't work, even leaving the house and going for a long walk may be a good idea.

A third option is to enjoy Christmas alone. I understand that this may sound like a hard job, but I know it is possible. Plan a nice dinner for yourself, and prepare it with care. Then, watch a favorite movie or one that you have always wanted to see, or read a really good book. Start a new tradition — buy yourself new slippers, go give charity to an organization you feel strongly about, or go to the zoo.