Sex: The Basics And Beyond

If you're reading this, I think I can safely assume that you already know what sex is, at its most basic. Sexual intercourse involves penetration — a penis in a vagina or a penis in an anus. There's all kinds of sexual positions, and long-term couples develop their own preferences. Oral sex is mouth-to-genital sex. Then there's the "hand job", which is satisfying your male partner with your hand, and fingering or satisfying your female partner with your hand. 

Losing Your Virgnity — Are You Ready?

While the concept of "virginity" is essentially rather meaningless, engaging in sexual activity for the first time isn't. It should be exciting, safe, and something you do when you feel absolutely ready — however you personally define losing your virginity. Many teens ask themselves at what age they are ready to lose their virginity. Every person has their own opinions on when a person is ready to have sex for the first time, and that includes your parents. Many people believe that you should be in a committed relationship before doing the deed, or that you should wait until you are married. 

READ More Young People having Unprotected Sex

Unless you do wait until marriage and your partner does the same, you'll also need to have safe sex to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Are you ready to lose your virginity? Your answer will be shaped by your religious beliefs and your parents'. No matter what your beliefs, I'd like you to know that waiting is totally OK and that you really don't need to have sex unless you are totally sure you want to, and have found the person with whom you want to experience that first time. If you are really young, like under 16, I'd love to encourage you to wait a while even if you are sure you want to have sex, because you might come to regret it later.

The First Time

Girls often ask if they'll bleed when something enters their vagina, and both boys and girls want to know what it's like. Yes, girls can bleed a little, but not always. And the first time will probably be a little awkward. Research shows that both boys and girls often feel pressured into having sex before they are ready — by friends or a partner. Saying no is perfectly acceptable.

Will it hurt? Maybe. If it does, stop. Try again another time if you are not enjoying the experience. You should also know that boys can stop when they've already started, and girls — don't let a boy trick you by telling you he won't enjoy it with a condom. If that's what he says, he isn't the right boy for you.

To answer another popular question, fingering, dry humping, and kissing can't make a girl pregnant. But to be on the safe side, you should always be very careful. Oral sex, using your hands, and even sex with a condom all have risks. You don't want to end up with an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. If you think you are dealing with either, then you should always see a doctor.[2]

Pregnancy can be avoided by using either birth control pills, or other contraceptive methods, such as condoms or an intrauterine device (IUD), also known as intrauterine contraceptive device (IUCD or ICD) or coil . Only condoms can prevent sexually transmitted diseases.[2]  

Some signs of an STD are pimples on your genitals, unusual discharge from your penis or vagina, and pain. Pregnancy signs include a missed period, morning sickness, and fatigue. [3]

Masturbation

Safe sex is hugely important, and let's face it — there is no safer sex than self-sex. Many teens have questions about masturbation. To answer the first, it's totally normal and almost everyone does it. Some people believe it is wrong, and that may include your parents. By masturbating, you get to know your own body and you have a safe way to explore your desires in your hands... literally! 

Masturbation was once thought evil and the cause of many diseases. However, it has been proven medically that masturbation does not cause mental illness, physical weakness, or any type of disease or death. Masturbation is a normal aspect of human sexual development.[4]

A few rules for masturbation, though: don't hurt yourself by inserting things that are not made for that or are not hygienic, or doing it so often that your private parts become inflamed. Wash your hands beforehand, or do it in the shower.