my brother alway abuses me, physically and mentally. he calls me fat ass and mistake. even though HE is the one who ways twice as much as me. i try to ask to stop buthe just doesnt, and so punches me. he think hes 28, even though hes only 14. im only 12, yet he still uses me as a punching bag, im scared to go in the house. i tell my dad but nothing ever happens, though my grandma kick my brother's ass one time. he thinks hes so tough that he can beat me up. i just dont know what to do.
Loading...
Hi honey! 1st lean towards the screen, so I can give you a cyber hug! I have 2 boys - now 20 and 17 - I have been lucky enough that they don't fight! My eldest is built like a truck, my youngest is fragile! So I think my eldest just knows that IF he was to hit out, there would be serious damage! Years ago I would have said "hit your brother and make it count - so he never forgets it" now I would NEVER say that. People can be hurt, maimed or even killed, all it takes is one wrong hit! In this day and age it is imperative that our children learn a different way of dealing with things! What I would like you do is this, I want you to write down what this "bullying" is doing to you! Your brother is a bully - I have a feeling that he is either being bullied at school, online or even perhaps by your father! Sorry for bringing that forward, but children react from what they have seen and felt! I take it your mom isn't in the picture - as you didn't mention her? So because your grandma has already whooped him for doing it, you now need to get someone else onside! THAT person HAS to be your father, IF your dad is a volatile person, he might not want to say something to your brother - because then he would be a hypocrite right? So write down what you REALLY want to happen from this and how it makes you feel! Give it to him when he is relaxed, or even in his car - before going to work! He needs to be alone and no distractions for him to take the full feelings from what you are writing. Also talk to your grandma - if she is like me, she will put your dad and brother in their places within no time! :-) We talk about stranger bullying all the time, but we rarely talk about bullying from family members! I have a feeling that he perhaps resents you about something, do you think your father is tougher on him than you? Has he had a bit rougher time at home than you? He might be trying to "even the score" with you! Sometimes fighting back at our abusers takes a different way and that is to try and understand where their head space is! I know you probably don't care where is head space is - ;-) - but there is an old saying "knowledge is power" so your power over him - as he is bigger - is to use your brain over him! So WHY do you think he is doing this to you - and NOT stopping? What does HE get from this abuse? Have you ever just sat there and inadvertently watched your brother - out of the corner of your eye - does he look happy (when there is a quiet moment) I have a feeling something is going on with him! Lets work together to first figure him out, the next to MAKE everyone be respectful including your dad! I'm not going anywhere honey, so you can ask me any question you like and I WILL help you deal with this OK? Big hugs honey!
Loading...
Loading...