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I am a 35 year old woman and really suffer badly with alcohol paranoia.

I also have OCD (worrying all of the time and complete rituals to overcome the anxiety of it) this can sometimes be debilitating. I always worry what we people think of me and always want to be liked by everyone, even though i know that this isnt possible. I have been like this all of my life and i have had OCD since i was a small child.

I can drink alochol and be fine, but sometimes i get drunk and i have complete black outs the next day. I cant remember conversations i have had, how i got home sometimes and it is really worrying. At the time i feel in control and i drink more, its not until i wake in the night i start to panic and wonder what i said or did. My husband is really supportive and tells me i am being silly but i shouldnt drink so much so i dont have blackouts. I will lie awake for hours worrying and going over conversations that i have had- embarrasing ones from my past and i dont know why i tell people them- i just want them to laugh and enjoy my company but i end up pulling myself down. I dont know why i do this? I dont think i have a drink problem, as i dont crave alcohol and i dont drink everyday only on social occassions but if i have one to many, or if i havent ate enough in the day, my paranoia is really bad. It gets to the point where i hate myself.

My OCD also gets worse the next day and i cant concentrate on anything. Why am i like this? why do i care so much of what people think of me?

Any advise will be appreciated.

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Hi Sona,
I'm not a doctor or anything but I thought it would reassure you to know that I feel like that sometimes. After drinking, even if I don't drink much, I can wake up feeling anxious, panicky and paranoid. I go over things over and over in my head worrying about what I might have said or done that was embarrassing or inappropriate or that I ought to regret. Even when I feel that I remember everything about the night before my OCD forces me to go over my memories looking for something. It helps me to ask the friends who were with me that night whether I was behaving inappropriately, they usually put my mind at rest and wonder why I needed to ask.
I would also recommend limiting the amount that you drink so that you feel more in control. It might even be worth speaking to someone about this as I'm sure it would help. Hope you get on okay! :-)
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I have this same worry, it is ridiculous and debilitating. I always think that I did something terrible but my friends and husband assure me that I haven't. im usually quite and shy. I always black out and then think Ive done something but haven't.

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I always have this worry after drinking, my biggest fear is that I have cheated. I make up scenarios in my head of all the horrible things I must have done and almost make myself believe them. Its really an awful feeling. My friends and husband always tell me that im a great drunk so I don't see why I continue to beat myself up.

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